TEAM CASILDA: Helva (The Ship who Sang), Baltar, Garak, and Leeloo
Having safely disposed of one supreme spherical battle station, Team Casilda looks to head back to Earth. “That Talat job went pretty well, maybe we can find more work around those parts,” suggested Helva as she made herself comfortable again aboard the LH-834. However, she was in for a surprise upon arrival at what they thought was Earth.
“My giddy aunt, not again!” Baltar groaned to himself before looking around with wild eyes. Even Garak looked disturbed; “Are you completely sure you brought us to the correct system, Helva?”
“Yes,” she snapped. “There may be no sun, but there’s a ball that looks like the planet-formerly-known-as Earth.” Helva moved the ship in for a landing as they received a distress call. Garak, sensing opportunity, moved in to receive and respond to the communication.
“There’s something off about this,” Baltar declared as he sipped his Champurrado, “is your chef having an off day?”
Their contact glared at him… “My God man, where have you been? You know there is no cinnamon left on Earth, right?”
At the team’s blank look, their contact continued. “To help us find a new home, the Spacing Guild has required and extortionate amount of spice, which insofar as we can tell, is limited to cinnamon. The world is, of course, suffering from the lack of depth in any number of dishes, and come December we’ll have to do a complete overhaul of Christmas cuisine, but it’s well worth the opportunity to find a new home. And that’s where we need you.”
Looking over the group, their contact plunged ahead. “You four are much more familiar with our astronomical neighborhood than any of our governmental or non-governmental organizations, so we’d like you to spearhead our search for a new place to live.”
“So, you’re out for conquest?” Garak looked as if he understood that motive quite well, while Leeloo looked uncomfortable.
The contact shared Leeloo’s discomfort. “Er, we don’t want to call it that, I mean, of course we don’t want to repeat the errors of our ancestors, but we do need some form of light, or humanity will die out. And humanity can’t die out. It’s really more of an effort to find a planet willing to power-share with us. I’m sure it will be in the best interests of everyone involved.” Contracts were signed, hands were shaken, and Team Casilda headed out into the wilds of space in search of a new home for humanity.
Helva was both amazed and disgruntled. Who were these pilots, who assumed you needed to drug yourself to be capable? However, nothing could get in the way of her wonder at the Spaceship of the Imagination. Billions and billions of stars… all in reach. That alone made up for the annoyance of those hopped-up pilots.
“From the survey data I would recommend that we at least visit this desert-like planet. Besides which, the Spacing Guild have hopes for finding more of their “spice” here.” Baltar looked as if he had more to say, but instead returned to the charts. “Who would like to go in the landing party?”
It was decided that Helva alone would remain with the ship (and she was more than pleased to be allowed even more time to learn about it) while the rest of the team traveled to the unknown desert planet. They were, however, unpleasantly surprised and returned quickly from the planet.
“What, back so soon?” Helva distractedly said to them as they returned, happy to kick the dust from their boots. “What did you find back there?”
“It is best not to inquire,” Garak grumbled, while Baltar uploaded surveillance footage, a still of which is reproduced below:
Well, onward.
“These people know what we are thinking,” Leeloo said out loud as the away team met with a delegation from the local government under the chill red sun. Their leader looked not the least apologetic.
“A century ago, people from your world brought us great trouble. Though we are of the same blood, we cannot accept your offer. Over the thousands of years that our societies have developed separately, we have evolved independently; from our recent history, we prefer to keep to ourselves. Besides which, our planet’s ecology cannot support the number of settlers you are talking about. If it were but a small percentage of the total, perhaps they could be integrated into our society. But billions of people? Darkover cannot support so many. I am sorry.”
The Starship of the Imagination reluctantly left behind humanity’s brothers and sisters on the world the Spacing Guild had mapped as “Cottman IV.”
“As you can see, we are having political issues of our own with the Atevi,” explained the Paidhi, a human designated to translate, insofar as he (in this case, he) between the various cultures present on the planet below them. Aboard the orbiting space station, Garak was listening to the man while Leeloo compared notes with his security; Baltar cared only for work on some unknown research project and interacted with other beings only for food or information. “What with the Mospheirans, the various Atevi factions, the ship humans, and an impending visit from our galactic neighbors the Kyo, one does not think it would be the best moment to propose something of this magnitude.”
The Paidhi Bren Cameron paused a moment before continuing. “One regrets to hear of Earth’s troubles; the ancestors of our Spacing Guild members would have been thrilled to know of its location once more. However, as things stand, one does believe it would be the best course of action to maintain contact, but to limit physical exchanges insofar as possible.” The older Atevi woman quietly observing this exchange stood suddenly, supporting herself on her cane.
“Aiji dowager, please,” the Paidhi turned to her as Garak bowed deeply and expressed Team Casilda’s thanks for their consideration of the situation, and intention for further diplomatic conversations.
As he and Leeloo left the space station to return to their ship, Leeloo remarked to Helva, “well, no planet for the Earthicans. But I learned quite a bit.”
“Aha!” Baltar looked like a cat who had been into the cream. “I’ve got it!”
“A planet?” Leeloo looked at him skeptically.
“Well, yes, but more importantly, a cinnamon substitute! I can have a good warm champurrado once we get this business settled,” Baltar seemed blithely unaware of the disgust of the rest of the group.
“The planet, Baltar,” Helva prompted the absent-minded scientist.
“Oh, yes. Well, it’s quite an interesting system, as you notice, there are two masses suitable for human habitation, which the natives call Urras and its semi-arid moon Anarres. I’ve already asked Helva to send along the information packet that we prepared and we are currently awaiting a response, is that right?”
“Yes, and I’ve got a good feeling about this.” Helva sounded positively cheerful. All this traveling around with disregard for the laws of physics was starting to get to her head. “From the information that they have transmitted to us, there is enough political and ecological variety that humanity should be able to adapt to any number of different ways of life. It all depends on their answers, however. Urras has warned me that Anarres is somewhat anarchic, while Anarres warns me that Urras doesn’t recognize freedom.” She paused. “Both, however, seem to be pleased with the idea of a new factor in their political lives. Well, generally.” A note of worry crept into her voice. “This Thu political entity does not seem as pleased as the Anarresti, or A-lo. We must wait.”
[insert montage of waiting!]
“At last! We have a home for Earth. The Anarresti are going to contact the Earthicans via use of a machine they call an ansible, really quite amazing. We’ll make a quick run in the Spaceship of Imagination to pick up Earth’s population, and then it’s up to the Earthicans to make a place for themselves in their new worlds.” Helva smiled while the rest of the team looked tired but pleased. Baltar chose that moment to make some champurrado for everyone.
“A spice substitute, you say?” One of the members of the Spacing Guild wandered towards the doorway as if to enter the room, but Helva promptly closed the door. She was a Brainship in the Spaceship of Imagination, after all.
Bare bones version:
Helva’s fascinated by the ship and trying to learn as much as she can. Baltar’s surveying many planets, but also working on a suitable cinnamon substitute to maintain his quality of life. Leeloo and Garak are the public face of the Earthican effort to find a new home. While they have come into contact with any number of planets that have human (or humanoid) residents, for various reasons none of them have worked out. An unknown desert planet proved too hostile for habitation; Darkover’s ecology was too fragile to support a larger population; the political situation in the Foreigner universe didn’t allow for any new human settlers, much less over 6 billion of them. At last, we reach the Tau Ceti system, and between Urras and its moon Anarres, two dramatically different social structures (and ecologies) have bent enough to allow for permanent settlement of humanity.
