Word, Uubergeek. Mine is excessively long, but I kept the action swift. And I think this is a real contender. At the least, I am thrilled to actually be playing FSL 2.0: Black Ops!
With no further ado, Team Phoenix’s response to Challenge 2:
24:00
The Hawking Hole opens, spitting out Planet Express Ship and her cargo: Lt. William J. Adama, call sign Husker, with his Viper Mark II; Miles Vorkosigan disguised as the Little Admiral, Miles Neysmith of the Dendarii Free Mercenaries; Dr. Walter Bishop, equipped with one root beer float and an eighth of Brown Betty; and Alice, who’s armed to the teeth with 5 guns, two short bladed knives, and a machete.
Miles, as the highest-ranked military official of the bunch, the shortest damned Admiral ever to sail through five-space, quickly takes over the strategizing. While he and Alice discuss their options, Husker launches his Viper and flies patrol. Walter begins rummaging around the cargo hold and setting up a lab in Planet Express Ship’s mess hall.
At 20:00, Alice launches herself in one of Planet Express Ship’s escape pods, aimed straight at Death Star II. She allows herself to be captured by any one of the TIE Fighters protecting the perimeter. In the hangar bay of the DSII, Alice overpowers the TIE pilot and the 3 Storm Troopers who show up to escort her to the brig. She drags them all into the TIE Fighter and pilot to return to patrol, reporting that he successfully dropped off the prisoner.
18:00
Alice delivers the 3 Storm Trooper suits to Walter. The 4 Imperial soldiers are airlocked. Husker goes back to patrol.
12:00
Walter makes Miles with a Storm Trooper suit that he has modified to fit and hide Vorkosigan’s unique physical attributes (ie: short and deformed). He has also prepared two low-budget droids using a bootlegged copy of Planet Express Ship’s personality software and leftover stuff from past deliveries that was forgotten in the cargo bay.
9:00
Miles, wearing the modified Storm Trooper suit, Alice, in chains, and the two droids squeeze into the TIE Fighter and head toward the DSII. They flip on their radio channel and fake a fight for control, flying wildly, to convince the Imperial forces to let them land.
8:00
They head in the direction of the brig. Alice calls on her connection to the White Queen. The White Queen hacks the Death Star’s computer network and gives the crew directions to the throne room.
When they are spotted in a security-clearance-only corridor, Miles starts explaining that Darth Vader wants to see the rebel scum who managed to temporarily outwit 4 soldiers and interrogate her. Alice covertly sets the droids running off in the opposite direction as a diversion. The security guards tell Miles to get on with it and run after the droids.
8:30
“You, there! Halt!” the leading security guard yells.
“We are halted, sir. We aren’t doi—” the tall, awkward droid is cut off.
“Shut up! We’re looking for two runaway droids and you fit the description.”
Suddenly the little one started whirring: “Beep. Beep-beeb. Mmmrow!”
“My companion here says that we are simply moping about in this hallway, mourning the loss of our beloved Master Luke. He died in a tragic farming accident, you know. We are just beside our—“
“Yeah, yeah,” the second guard drawls. “Come on, let’s go. These are not the droids you’re looking for.”
8:00
Miles and Alice reach the Emperor’s throne room. Alice uses her mad-sexy zombie-slaying skills to take out the 12 Storm Troopers outside the door. She’s good, but not so good that they aren’t noticed. Miles drops to the floor and plays dead in the pile of Storm Troopers.
7:30
The doors to Palpatine’s lair slide open.
“Enter, Jedi.”
“I am no Jedi, Palpatine,” Alice says.
Darth Vader glides out of the darkness, activating his light saber. Alice prepares to fight him, pulling out her rifle. Miles carefully aims his plasma arc, appearing simply to have fallen with weapon in hand. At the height of the battle between Vader and Alice, Miles shoots Palpatine in the chest. Blood, guts, and rib fragments splatter the wall.
Vader is distracted. Alice moves in for the kill.
“No, Alice! Lord Vader, sir. Your son, Luke. That farming accident was no accident. It was Palpatine. He worried that you’d gone too soft to dispose of the boy.”
“What are you saying?”
“I know you. Well, I know men like you. You’re not big-E Evil. More like little-e evil. Palpatine and the Dark Side warped you but there is still a kernel of Annakin Skywalker left in there. I know it. And I have a place for you. You’d be an excellent platoon commander in my organization, the Dendarii Free Mercenaries. As a signing bonus, I’d send you to Beta Colony for muscular reconstruction You could shed the suit.”
“I’m… listening…”
6:30
Miles pitches the Dendarii to Darth Vader and wins him over.
5:30
Alice gets the two men moving. Vader pretends to be escorting prisoners. No one else knows that Palpatine is dead.
5:00
Palpatine’s body is discovered. Chaos: the Storm Troopers and intelligence officers revolt, individual factions vying for control.
They have to fight their way out, but manage to launch. Miles and Alice are in their original TIE Fighter and Vader is in his personal Fighter. Two dozen TIE Fighters launch after them.
4:30
Husker zips in to give them some artillery cover in his Viper. Walter’s head appears in the viewer dome for Planet Express Ship’s laser cannon.
4:20
Husker zips out, makes a perfect combat landing, and races to the bridge of Planet Express Ship.
4:00
Vader and Miles fight their way through the TIE Fighters and make two bumpy combat landings. They and Alice race to the bridge.
3:50
Walter starts shooting the laser cannon, intermittently clapping his hands in joy. “I got one!”
3:40
“Now what?! We’re early! The Hawking Hole won’t open back up for almost 4 hours and we’ve got a lot of angry TIE pilots out there. Not to mention the Death Star,” Alice yells at Husker and Miles.
“I have a plan,” Vader says. “We shoot the laser cannon straight into the Death Star’s weak spot.”
“What weak spot?”
“Everyone knows that all spherical weapons of mass destruction have one extremely vulnerable weak spot. That’s why I killed all the engineers who knew where the Death Star’s spot is. But I know its location, too.”
Miles gets Walter on the com and shares the plan.
3:30
The crew executes the plan. The Death Star starts to explode.
“It’s going to engulf us!” Alice screams.
Miles yells, “Vader, what are we going to do?”
“Do your job.” Husker deadpans.
“I have an idea!” Walter shouts into the com. “Could someone please come take my place at the laser cannon?”
3:00
After hectic preparation, two bowls of the Brown Betty, and a second root beer float, Walter opens a hole in space-time and coaxes it to engulf the now rapidly imploding Death Star. DSII starts to go super nova from the force of its nuclear reactors just as it is shoved into empty space in a parallel universe.
Walter passes out. Alice is on medical duty.
2:00
Vader and Miles finish the remaining TIE Fighters from their own TIEs.
1:30
They play cards until the Hawking Hole reopens.
00:00
It was as if the Death Star had never been there, and neither had Miles, Husker, Alice, or Walter. Vader couldn’t wait to join the Dendarii. Mission accomplished.
o
