Write your own Star Wars Prequels

Here’s your chance. Write what you wanted or how you wished it played out. No ranting about Jar Jar, whiny Anakin, or Vader’s NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Approach this as if Mr. Lucas called you on the phone in 1996 and asked you to write the three prequel films. Take your knowledge of the Original Trilogy and apply it. Come up with a treatise, list of characters, and major plot events. If you wish, you can use elements from the prequels (they weren’t that bad). But keep in mind, this isn’t a bashing session. It’s a creative writing challenge.

Of course, Mr. Lucas wants to show off ILM’s talents so come up with some bells and whistles (e.g. Digital characters Jar Jar and Watto; the pod race). Dream big. You’ve got 100s of millions to play with. You can be literary creative as well. Star Wars, the Musical. (Perhaps, a bit much) or Chronologically backwards (show the birth of the twins and Vader in the suit in Ep. I and the birth of Anakin in Episode III) or Story told from the Sith viewpoint and their rebellion from the Jedi.

If you’ve already written something before. Please share it here.

Here is an example using Episode I as a template:

[b]Ep. I: The Phantom Menace

Main Characters:
Queen / Padme Amidala
Qui-gon Jinn
Obi-wan Kenobi
Anakin Skywalker
Jar Jar Binks

Act I: Trade Federation blockade
Act II: Anakin Skywalker; Pod Race
Act III: Coruscant; the Senate FAIL
Act IV: Padme takes matters into her own hands
Act V: The Sith revealed
[/b]
Write a summary of each Act (check the wiki for a proper summation). You get the point. Have at it.

A long time ago in a galaxy far,
far away…

Episode I

THE CLONE WARS

The Galactic Republic has
enjoyed prosperity for
centuries. Yet, expansion
and internal strife promote
decadence.

As corruption and greed
infest the Senate, a clone
rebellion has broken out.
Demands for equal rights
and proper citizenship have
gone unanswered.

Clones flee and seek refuge on the
outskirts of the galaxy…

^
^
Camera Pan
V
V

Tatooine emerges from the bottom of the screen just like in Episode IV. :slight_smile: A cargo freighter streaks across the starfield from camera right and nose dives toward the planet. Fighters pursue it, firing madly. The freighter evades their fire, almost instinctively. The ships enter the atmosphere, the camera following them.

INTERIOR: FREIGHTER – COCKPIT

A 19-year-old male with golden, tousled hair sits in the cockpit with a grin ear-to-ear on his grimy face.

ANAKIN: C’mon fellas! Keep up!!

The freighter heads for the canyons. The fighters follow. As the freighter enters a narrow valley the aperture narrows.

ANAKIN: Um, I have a bad feeling about this.

The freighter barely escapes, scratching its side.

ANAKIN: Argh! Owen is gonna make me pay for that!

Anakin shows off his fancy piloting skills. One-by-one the fighters hit a canyon wall and perish. Lots of fancy CGI madness here.

INTERIOR: FREIGHTER – COCKPIT

ANAKIN: (Anakin flips a switch) Is everyone in one piece back there? I apologize for the bumpy ride. I wasn’t expecting traffic.

The freighter lands in Mos Eisley and the clones exit. They pay Anakin.

–*--

I have to work on the dialogue but you get the gist. To be continued…

My version will focus on Obi-Wan as the POV character. This will make the story more personal than having it spread so thin as was the case with the original. Also in my version Obi-Wan has a love interest, this will make his story very parallel to that of Anakin’s. And we will see how very different the two of them deal with their feelings and relationships. This will also make the eventual order by the Emperor to kill all of the Jedi so very much more personal to Obi-Wan.

Another parallel will be us seeing Obi-Wan’s training as a youth. And then how different it will be when Anakin is being trained.

Anyways here is a piece of what I have so far.

[CENTER]Sacrifices

[/CENTER]

Coruscant hangs proudly on screen, its name emblazoned along the bottom of the frame. The view dives below the orbiting traffic, down into the atmosphere. Cityscape sprawls from horizon to horizon and aerial vehicles clog the skies. Down and down until a single structure stands out against the rest, the Jedi Temple. Hundreds of aircars are seen arriving and parking at hubs around the structure. The camera follows one as it nears, we zoom in to see a young blonde haired boy peering out a window.

“Is that where we are going?”

“Yes son that is the Jedi Temple.”

“Wow!” He presses his eager face to the glass to watch it growing larger and larger as they approach.

The wife turns to her husband, “I am nervous, it cost us somuch to travel here. And what if they were wrong?” He pats her hand, “The Acolyte said Obi-Wan tested higher than any child they had seen, I have no doubt he will do well here. It is our duty to bring him before the council, I will miss him. Sorry, WE will miss him. But it is what is best for the Republic.”

She looks sadly at the young boy ogling the looming structure and nods weakly, “I suppose you are right, I just fear for what maybe facing him in this future. And wonder if by keeping him a secret we might be giving him a happier future with us at home.” He smiles back and rubs her hand,“That would be selfish. I feel in my bones he is meant for something greater, and has a role to play. An important one.” They lean forward their foreheads lightly touching and share a moment between them.

The car stops. “Dad! We’re here!” They emerge from the hovering car and are swept along with the milling peoples, ushered along by Jedi Acolytes, volunteers and guards. The parents are taken to another area wheref rom overhead they can watch the testing. The ten year old Obi-Wan is taken into an enormous forum where hundred sof other children are seated in concentric tiered circles of tables, he is given a place to sit. All of the children look nervously at each other for a few moments and then the room falls silent.

A Jedi Master steps up to the podium, “Testing will be conducted in five stages, and the first stage will begin in 2 minutes!”

A series of superimposing scenes shows the passage of time,Jedi walking among the testing candidates to supervise and watch forcheating. As each scene fades from view thereare fewer and fewer candidates seated. Then we see physical tests, and as we transition from test to test thereare again fewer and fewer of the children. Then on to the mental tests, again fewer and fewer are left. Finally only 20 are left standing in a row inan arena. As the parents come down fromthe seats above to congratulate their kids a Jedi proudly announces:

“Congratulations parents, your children have performed exceptionally.” The parents faun over them and hug them as the announcement continues. “Each of them have test scores high enough toqualify for a full scholarship into the Jedi Academy,on behalf of the Jedi Council we thank you for bringing these fine children to our attention.”

The children take careful looks around them as the parents pat them and hug them, each of them looking to see who else qualified. They take account of each other and nod withrespect to one another, Obi-Wan spots a brunette girl with green eyes. She sees him looking at her, she smiles warmly. He blushes and shyly looks away.

I am so proud of you son is the last thing we hear before we cut away, the next thing you see is the twenty of them lined up in civilian clothes. They are then each handed abundle of simple cloth robes and clothing, they look at the bundles and at eachother.

Montage:

Training, schooling, lying in strange beds far from home lonely looks on the children’s faces. Training, schooling, simple meals in a large cafeteria, Obi-Wan and the girl sitting under a tree helping each other with homework.

2 years later-
They are lined up in a row again, only now in simple Jedi style robes now adorned with a colored stripe along the hem, and there are only18 of them. In the gallery is packed with throngs of proud parents smiling and clapping, Obi-Wan spots his parents and smiles at them.

Montage:

Training, schooling with Obi-Wan and the girl stealing looksat each other in class, dark dorm rooms with now older children looking at the ceilings, some of the beds are now empty. Training, schooling, simple meals in a large cafeteria, Obi-Wan and the girl in a library studying.

2 years later-
They are lined up in a row again. Their robes now of a slightly nicer fabric with a pattern embossed upon it. Thereare only 16 of them now. The gallery hasfewer parents in it but Obi-wan spots his parents among them and smiles.

Montage:

More intense training, schooling, sparing, gymnastics, the dorm has more empty beds in it. Meditation, levitation, older and more tired looking children eating inthe cafeteria. Watching a new group ofrecruits entering the forum with knowing and sad eyes, training, schooling,Obi-Wan and the brunette girl standing in a hologram of the galaxy pointing out planets to each other.

2 years later-

Lined up again, their robes are more stylish. They are leaner and look more capable and secure in their abilities, and there are now only 14 of them. The gallery is even emptier, and Obi-Wan seesonly his Father in the gallery.

Montage:

Very intense training, drills, sparing, gymnastics,schooling. The dorm room now has morebodies in it, but they are of the new recruits. And they are scared and lonely. The twelve sit apart from the new kids in the cafeteria, they look tired and do not speak as they eat. Training,sparing, schooling, Obi-Wan and the brunette girl helping each other read and pronounce a foreign tongue.

2 years later-

Lined up again, their robes are a duck egg blue. There are now only 12 of them. The gallery has only 4 people in it, and one of them is Obi-Wan’s Father.

Montage:

Survival training, schooling, building lightsabers, obstacle courses, sparing. The dorm is now emptier. There are fewer in thecafeteria. Training, schooling, Obi-Wan is holding the brunette tenderly as she sobs loudly on his shoulder.

2 years later-

Lined up again, their robes are those of a Padawan. There are only ten of them. The Gallery is empty. Each of the graduates is paired up with a Master, Obi-Wan meets Qui-Gon. He takes one last look at the young lady on stage; they share a long look before he leaves with his new Master.

4 years later-

An Adult Obi-Wan is looking down from a balcony at the large collection of aircars hovering around the landing hub nearby, the cars are disgorging children and their parents. Qui-Gon steps up beside him and smiles.

“Seems not that long ago that you were one of those wide eyed young children arriving to be tested.”

“Perhaps to you it seems not that long ago, to me it seems an eternity. No, make that… Another life.” He shakes his head, “I find it hard to even remember the faces of my parents. Even though it makes the pain of separation less, I feel as if I have betrayed their memory.”

“Fear not my Padawan, it is not at all unusual for that to happen.” He crosses his arms across his chest and continues, “When we become Jedi we leave the family that we knew and loved to join a new and far larger one, it is a difficult process. And not one that all who try can make, and for those that do, it can leave scars.”

“And no one has thought to warn the families that bring their children here about this little fact?”

“Dealing with loss, separation and loneliness is part of the screening process.”

“I did not realize that.”

“It is not something that we advertise.”

“Why not?”

“It would taint the results. Overeager parents might start training their children to pass the early trails, there by altering and diluting the pool of candidates.”

“I do not understand.”

“Being a Jedi is a very lonely experience. While we exist among society and interact with it, we can never be an actual part of it. We protect and oversee the society we care about but can never be one of them. It is a lonely life, and necessarily so.” He took a long slow breath and continued, “If we were to become a part of society we risk becoming influenced by it. We can not afford that; we must remain impartial and objective. That is also why we own no property or even personal possessions, we are free of temptation or obligations to any power or person who would seek to direct or influence our actions.”

“I begin to see, it is something that one must accept on their own. Not pushed into by an overly excited parent or sibling.”

“Yes, the willingness to divest oneself from all they knew and loved must come from within. It is different for each person, and they must find their own path and deal with it in their own time.”

“And if they can’t?”

“Better they learn this while still young and capable of starting over and finding a new life for themselves.”

“I wonder if some of those that were in my class…”

“Not every one leaves because of bad scores or failed tests.”

“Now some of what I saw makes sense.”

“It is worse if they come from a large family.”

“I am really starting to see,” shaking his head, “to understand. The method to…”

“And as hard as it is on the candidate, it is even harder in many ways to the parents.”

“Oh dear. I had not even…”

“It is hard enough for them to entrust the Academy with their children, but then to have to let them go… That is such a painful thing to be asked to do.”

“You ask them to?”

“Of course, it is a long slow process for them. And it is harder for some than for others but eventually they see the necessity and the wisdom of it.”

“So you asked them to let me go?”

He smiles, “Of course, you didn’t actually think your parents abandoned you; did you?”

“When I did not see them in the gallery, I assumed they…”

“It was hard on them; we sent video of all your graduations and awards.”

“So my parents did not…”

He laid a hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder, “Your Father is so very proud of you Obi-Wan.”

“Thank you.”

“Now come, we have an assignment. I will fill you in along the way.”

Ep. I: The Phantom Menace

Main Characters:
Queen / Padme Amidala
Qui-gon Jinn
Obi-wan Kenobi
Anakin Skywalker
Jar Jar Binks

Act I: Trade Federation blockade

Quigon and Obiwan were sent to meet the leaders of the trade federation. After arriving on the trade federation flag ship, everything seems to go well and a peaceful resolution is at hand, until Quigon accidentally overheard the plan to invade Naboo goes on as planned. Obiwan insisted on confronting the trade federation leaders and ask them to stop the invasion plan. Quigon argued that will give away their advantage, there is no way to prevent the invasion at this point and they should sneak out to the planet instead to warn them of the coming invasion. After neither are able to convince the other, they went their separate ways. Obiwan informed the senate using the Jedi’s secure communicator. Quigon only wishes he can sneak on board a vessel before Obiwan make the trade federation aware that they’ve discovered their plan, but before either of them get to their target, they were each surrounded and attacked. Eventually there retreated to the same spot and worked together to obtain a ship to flee to Naboo.

They discuss why the trade federation suddenly turned on them when neither actually got to do what they planned. A conclusion that someone in the senate is a mole is reached. The invasion is well on its way as they race for Naboo. They are shotdown before they could land and crashed into a marsh. When they got out they meet an weird creator blocking their way. They could not understand the creature and the creature wouldn’t let them leave, since they are in a hurry Obiwan chops the long eared creature in half.

They finally reach the capital and find the castle under siege. They get in and realized all communication to the senate has been cut off, there is no way to inform them that the blockade has turned into war. They convince the 14 year old queen that she should leave Naboo and plea for the senate’s support.

Act II: Anakin Skywalker; Pod Race

The queen’s double fools the trade federation, and the queen leaves in her inconspicuous silver space craft. After receiving some battle damage, they had to find a place to make repairs. They couldn’t risk being discovered and reported, so they found a local kid genius about 12 not 8. Quigon tells the mom that her kid is special and is the chosen one and wants to take him away for Jedi training.

To get the parts they need, they need more money and the kid says he could make the money with his pod racer he just built, he only needs one more part which the Jedis have enough money to buy. After the Jedis got the parts, Obiwan couldn’t help but telling the mom that she is a horrible mother to let her kids compete in a pod race, that he will report her to social services. Afraid of having her kid taken away from her one way or another, the mom reports them to the trade federation, including the fact that her kid might be the chosen one.

The kid wins the pod race and after they get the parts for repair, they realized some dude is coming after them and has already killed the mom. Quigon and Obiwan wouldn’t be sure if the guy is a Sith, since they were taught that Siths loves to monologue, yet this guy doesn’t speak a word. Since the mom’s chopped by the could be Sith, the kid travels to Coruscant with them. Padme consoles the poor kid.

Act III: Coruscant; the Senate FAIL

They reach Coruscant and the queen wastes no time to plea for her people. Quigon and Obiwan try to figure out who is the traitor in the senate. but Quigon is preoccupied with getting the Jedi Council to train Anakin. The council refused, saying the kid is too old and recently lost his mother, there’s too much hatred in his heart.

Act IV: Padme takes matters into her own hands

Padme realizes that the senate is too indecisive and isntead spends most of their time arguing about where to eat for lunch. Senator Palpatine convince Padme that the only way to get the senate to help them is to vote out the chancellor and give him the job. raising the motion of no confidence changes the senate greately, instead of lunch, now they argue about where to go for dinner.

Padme don’t like any of the places she ended up having to eat, so she decided to leave Coruscant and save Naboo by herself. Quigon tells her that their job was to escort her to Coruscant and that job is done. Now they need to track down the traitor in the senate. Obiwan objects and insists that they should protect Padme’s life. Obiwan and Anakin follows Padme back to Naboo.

Act V: The Sith revealed

Padme sends Obiwan to find the Gungans to forge an alliance and fight the trade federation. The Gungans are known to hold grudges and since Obiwan is not of this world, there’s no bad blood between them, making him the perfect candidate. As soon as Obiwan arrives at the Gungan capital, he major face-palms for a good while. As he realizes the creature he chopped in half was a sentient being that just cannot speak properly. One of the Gungan guards identifies Obiwan as the killer of a murder victim named Jar Jar, and they try to arrest Obiwan. Forced to defend himself, Obiwan kills half of the Gungans and returned without forming an alliance.

Meanwhile Quigon stalks the senate and catches a glimpse of someone who looks like the Sithish assassin he fought with on Tatooin. He followed and catches a meeting with some other shadowy guy who orders the Sithish dude to Naboo and kill the queen. Quigon learns that the Sithish dude’s name is Darth Maul, and actually a sith, totally breaking the Jedi’s rule of gauging the amount of monologue to identify Siths. Quigon returns to the Jedi council to write a report on this discovery, then jumps on a ship to Naboo.

When the trade federation droid army arrived, Naboo’s defence forces were swamped. Padme devises a plan and fake arrests Obiwan for the Gungans, claiming that this bad dude works for the trade federation. The out raged Gungans joins the fight against the droids. With the Gungan’s diverting the droid army’s attention, Padme and her forces try to retake the castle. Anakin frees Obiwan from the Gungans during the battle. Obiwan tells him “thanks, but i’m still sending you to the social services.” Anakin says whatever, and leaves in his rescue starfighter without Obiwan.

Quigon tails Darth Maul back to Naboo and intercepts Dath Maul before he and get to Padme. Obiwan get to the scene after the fighting has started. By the time he joins the fight Darth Maul is gaining the upper hand. After trapping Obiwan in a laser door, Darth Maul wounds Quigon. A furious Obiwan get in and the tired Darth Maul was no match for Obiwan. After Obiwan chopped Darth Maul in half, he watches Darth Maul falling through the reactor core and still not making a peep. He went to Quigon’s side and tells him about it, Quigon says not to worry, he already made an report about how in the future only those who don’t speak a single word are to be identified as Siths. Then Quigon asks Obiwan to do him a favor and not to turn Anakin over to the social services.

Anakin takes his Starfighter to join the space combat. After sneaking onto the Trade Federation flag ship, Anakin deploys a computer virus to infect the droid army. The droid army begins to shoot uncontrollably taking down all trade federation ships and each other. Padme invites Anakin to join the celebration, but didn’t invite Obiwan because she fears the Gungans would realize she tricked them into fighting. Feeling dissed, Obiwan turns Anakin over to the social services.

The End.

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon walk along a busy hallway leading toward the main terminal for Jedi spacecraft, Qui-Gon briefing Obi-Wan about the upcoming mission. The Padawan nods as the Jedi Master is speaking but he seems distracted. His eyes roam the hallway as they walk, as if searching for something or someone. They spy upon a female with brunette hair, his features light up, “Uh, master may I…”

Qui-Gon sighs and rolls his eyes, “Fine but make it short. We have a transport to catch.”

“Yes, of course.” He runs of to catch her. He touches her shoulder, she turns to see who it is and her face brightens when she sees who it is. “Obi-Wan!”

They almost embrace but catch themselves at the last second. They nervously laugh at the realization and look around cautiously, no one seems to have noticed. They shift their weight from foot to foot and look at one another awkwardly, each seemingly with much to say but afraid to voice their true thoughts. They stand there for a long moment and seeming rock in a river of moving bodies around them, but their eyes are only for each other.

Keirsha breaks the awkward silence, “So you going off world too?”

“Uh, yeah. We’re going to Naboo.”

“Naboo huh,” She looks away embarrassed by his emotionally intense stare, “I hear it is a beautiful place.”

His eyes soften, and he says too softly for her to hear, “Yes, so… very;… beautiful…”

Still looking at the floor, “Is it about the blockade?”

“Yes, I believe so…”

She looks up, “Believe so? You’re not sure?”

“Well I was a little,” he blushes and looks away, “distracted.”

She giggles, “Just like in class huh?”

It is his turn to look at the floor, “Yeah, kind of like that.” Awkward Silence Loomed…….

Uncomfortable with where the conversation is going she changes direction, “We are off to Tatooine ourselves.”

“Isn’t that a desert planet?”

“Yeah I am not looking forward to the heat…”

“I hope you brought some sun block.”

Laughter erupts, but it soon dies out as they continue exchanging awkward fleeting looks. Both want the moment to last and yet they both have to go on their assignments.

“So why are you-*” A loud throat clearing stops Obi-Wan in mid stentence, he turns to see Qui-Gon glaring at him from a short distance away. Arms crossed and leaning against a wall, he does not look amused.

“I think you better go.”

Obi-Wan nods, “Yeah, well bye and good luck.”

“Back atcha.” She winks and leaves.

As they leave the main terminal and break off into a much smaller and nearly empty hallway Qui-Gon speaks in hushed tones to Obi-Wan.

“Remember what I said about how being a Jedi was a lonely life?”

He looks away embarrassed, “I, I. We went through a lot together, and it sort of created a bond.”

Shaking his head, “You take me for a fool? The two of you were throwing off waves of emotion like a hurricane making storm waves against a coast line.”

The padawans head hung low, “I, I just don’t know what to…”

“You need to let her go.”

“It is just so hard.”

“It is necessary for both of you.”

Obi-Wan wrestled with his emotions.

“If not for yourself then for her. Think about it. What if another Master had wandered by while the two of you were throwing off those waves? You both would have been disgraced, costing the two of you your rank and apprenticeships.”

The Padawan looked horrified and ashamed.

“You are lucky I found you first,” Qui-Gon paced angrily, “I want you to meditate on this during our flight, I need you with a clear head on this mission.”

“Yes Master.”

“No distractions.”

Yes, Master. I am sorry, I will not disappoint you.”

With his hands on the Padawans shoulders he leaned in and looked him in the eyes, “Remember this, Sacrifice. We sacrifice much so others may live free, and without fear or oppression. A Jedi’s life is about sacrifice. The sacrifice of ones self. But not of purpose.”

“Yes Master.”

I wonder how the fanbois would react to montages.

It’s been nice knowing you, Omra.

I really like the idea of Obi-Wan as the main character and hero. I had a conversation with a friend whose son is watching Clone Wars and loves the prequels. His son can totally not relate to Anakin / Vader as the bad guy. Having Obi-Wan as the hero allows Anakin to be a more dynamic.

giggle I totally yub nub that!

[CENTER]Naboo


[SIZE=2]Part one
[/SIZE]

[/CENTER]

The Trade federation Delegates panic when they find out that the emissaries the Republic had sent are Jedi, they have the transport boarded and kill the flight crew. The ship is then towed out into deep space, its log is altered and the ship is made to appear as though it had been attacked by pirates.

The gas attack on the Jedi fails and they break free and begin disabling the ship in hit and run attacks and break into one of the computer cores. They download as much information as they can until cut off by security protocols; they then make their way down to one of the hanger bays and see the troop transports and realize that things are far more complicated than originally suspected. Obi-wan begins sabotaging the transports while Qui-Gon hacks into the flight control computer and then uploads a virus. The virus allows him to take control of all the ships Vulture fighter drones; he sends them to attack the other control ships. He then sets all of the troop transports to crash into the planets oceans. Mayhem ensues and they use the chaos to escape on to the planet below.

The control ships manage to regain control of the fighters but not until after major losses and considerable damage to their control ships. Over three quarters of the troop transports are lost, the remainder crash far from where they should have landed. The ship that the Jedi had hidden on crash lands near a lake and while running ahead of the disgorging tanks and troop carriers they spot a Gungan chained to the jungle floor, unable to escape from the oncoming war machines. They cut him free and pull him to safety.

They find out he was banished from a nearby city for being romantically involved with a female from a house that is a long time enemy of his own house (Romeo and Juliet?), and that when kicked out a rival for her affections had used the opportunity to chain him to that spot in the hopes that a local predator would kill him. In gratitude he agrees to lead them to the underwater Gungan city so that they can find a quick way to the capitol to warn the royal family that an attack is on its way. They are not greeted with enthusiasm but reluctantly are allowed to take a sub so long as they agree to take Jar Jar with them, he is considered an outcast and a troublemaker and want to be rid of him.

Once under way they discover that the female that Jar Jar is in love with has stowed away onboard, the affection they show for each other makes Obi-Wan uncomfortable and a little resentful since he is forbidden from allowing himself to have feelings for Kiersha. Things become complicated when it is discovered that the sub they were issued is just a small scout craft and that it does not have enough fuel to get them all the way through the core to the capitol city. Jar Jar and his lover study the maps onboard and figure out that if they conserve power and utilize some of the local currents that they could just make it there, barely. A further complication arises when they realize that Gungan submersibles do not have depressurization tanks, GunganWater Clan Members do not need them, they are amphibians. This means that the Jedi are going to have very painful if not fatal pressure sickness when they surface. “This is going to hurt,” Qui-Gon quips. The Jedi both go into deep meditation and attempt to prepare their bodies for the trip, the two Gungans extent the cruise fins and pilot the sub into the planets eddies and currents, riding them expertly. When the sub surfaces the Jedi are in agony,the Gungans pilot the sub to a hiding place and try to nurse them back to health.

The King of Naboo arrives at a meeting place for the proposed settlement with the Trade Federation’s delegation; he suspects it is a trap and so arrived alone. Indeed it is,they attempt to pressure him into signing away all rights to the planets resources. A fight breaks out and he nearly escapes after incapacitating most of the delegation as well as their guards. Darth Maul prevents his escape, the King puts up a good fight but in the end the Sith merely toys with him until finally putting him out of his misery.

The Queen having received the signal from her Husband that it was a trap takes her two daughters toward safety; they are cut off from the hanger bay by a company of battle droids. The soldiers are cut down one by one and the Queen is mortally wounded, the two Jedi though still suffering from tremors caused by pressure sickness arrive and dispatch the droids. The Queen urges them to take her daughters to safety before dying. They head to the hanger and free the imprisoned flight crews, and take the royal yacht into space with an escort of fighters.

Once in space the ships come under attack, the fighters gallantly sacrifice themselves to punch a hole through the blockade for the yacht. The Yacht is damaged but manages an escape, the hyperdrive is crapping out and a decision has to made as to where they should go. Obi-Wan spots Tatooine is within range and suggests it, when asked why he points out that a Jedi team is on a mission there (remember?), they can hook up with them and ask for help.

They shakily land on the desert planet.

pay him? dude, i think they should as Anakin to pay for their clothes.

that actually makes Anakin sound like Wash :stuck_out_tongue:

Yeah. I changed that up a bit. I’m working on a summation since I’m not going to be able to write the whole screenplay here. I’ve finished what happens in the first 20 minutes of the movie. I’ll be posting soon.

This is why you hire a write George. Give Jar Jar a better backstory and he’s interesting.

Here is the first Act (comments are welcome :smiley: )

The Clone Wars have begun. Anakin Skywalker is harboring clones with passage to Tatooine. For decades, clones were made from politicians, administrators, skilled laborers, and skilled artisans to utilize and enhance their genetic talents. This facilitated the expansion and presence of the Republic. As true-borns on several worlds prospered, resentment increased toward the clone community. Clones were considered puppets for the Senate. In response to the outcry, Chancellor Palpatine issued a decree that all clones be ripped of all titles and privileges in favor of true born leaders. The clone population became fugitives.

Anakin and his cargo of clones are in a freighter racing toward Tatooine while being chased by bounty hunters. They are able to escape capture thanks to Anakin’s piloting skills. They meet Owen Lars in Mos Eisley. Owen does not agree with Anakin’s actions. The clones offer their services to the moisture farmer who is resistant at first but realizes their farm could use the help. Lev Kalorn, a clone and former Regent of Malastare, reassures Owen that the clones will be no trouble at all while describing the conditions of the relocation camps where the clones are being exiled. By the end of the conversation, Lev hints at rumors that clones are being exterminated.

Chancellor Palpatine gives an address to the populace from his office on Coruscant urging citizens to offer information about runaway clones. Palpatine gives solace and assurance that the crisis will be handled swiftly. Once the speech completes, an aide ushers the Chancellor to the Senate floor updating him on the progress of the war. The Republic Army has won many victories and secured several systems. Palpatine enters the Senate to sudden applause. The Chancellor plays to the crowd and releases a barrage of platitudes. When the Senate session ends, Palpatine is followed by an entourage of press. He smiles and gestures, relating the same platitudes. He enters his chambers and secures his door. Turning, he finds Jedi Master Yoda.

Surprised Palpatine, the trained politician, engages in lavish salutations. Yoda waves them off; he has pressing matters to discuss. Some rogue clone factions have cloned Jedi, training them in the Sith arts. Palpatine inquires, “Can you keep the peace?” Yoda informs the Chancellor that he is ready to dispatch a company of Jedi. He is awaiting the Chancellor’s approval. Palpatine acknowledges, “May the Force be with you, Master Yoda.” Yoda exits. The Chancellor keys a switch on his ornate desk. A hologram appears as Palpatine sneers, “Is everything prepared for the arrival of the Jedi?”

Tatooine

After planting a series of decoys, the young Anakin hurries over to the broken down automated spice miner. He loads the speeder with as much spice as he can safely carry and leaves before the company’s recovery crew will spot him. He recovers the remaining decoys and heads toward Mos Espa, it is now beginning to grow dark and he looks for a safe place to make camp. Along the way he spots a wounded sandperson, he slows and cautiously takes a look. There is a dead predator nearby and the sandperons wounds look grave, it is not a trap. He drags the body to a safe location and makes camp there, tending to the wounded warrior’s wounds. Later that night Anakin can hear Banthas moving about in the distance so he tosses a bundle into the campfire causing it to brighten and change color, soon a band of Sandpeople surround the campsite, one of them comes forward and looks at Anakin curiously. Anakin gestures to the wounded sandperson nearby and growls out a short answer in their tongue. The leader replies and gestures for the wounded comrade to be taken away, as they do so the leader hands Anakin a fetish made of bone and hide, he is told that his action has earned him respect among the tribe, and that so long as he wears the fetish openly he will never fall under ill will by his people. He can travel freely along their lands, never to fear attack again. Anakin nods and thanks the leader, the Sandpeople disappear into the darkness and leave in peace.

That night he sees a ship land hard nearby, he makes a point to note its location and decides that he should swing by in the morning to see who would be stupid enough to land in such a dangerous location. In the morning he finds two Jedi battling giant scorpions, he marvels at how they handle themselves and how quickly they dispatch them. He explains later about how treacherous this portion of the desert is and that they should not have landed there. Qui-Gon explains that it was not their choice to do so, that in fact the ship all but crashed there, it is badly damaged and they need to either make repairs or commission another craft. Anakin explains that the person he works for may be able to help them out, but that he needs to drop off his load first and then he can come back for them. Qui-Gon states that they have two speeders aboard but they are not properly rigged for a desert climate, and that the turbines keep clogging with sand. Anakin laughs and says that he can probably fix that, after an hour the bikes are ready to go.

Being aquatic creatures Jar Jar and his lover have no desire to wander around a dry hot and inhospitable planet, they tell the Jedi to have fun and to bring back something to eat…… please. The two princesses are curious and want to come along but Qui-Gon strongly discourages them, “it is not safe and there could be a bounty on you.” The Jedi gear up and prepare to follow Anakin in to town, princess Padme (she is 12, roughly the same age as Anakin, this makes things far less creepy than in the movies) hides on Anakins speeder, he spots her just as he is about to leave. She holds up a finger to her lips and smiles at him, he blushes and nods. They head into town.

Watto is excited about the spice but less than happy to see two Jedi step into his shop, they are worse than cops in his opinion. Watto gives Qui-Gon all matter of grief about getting parts or another ship, he is suspicious and thinks Qui-Gon is trying to run some kind of a sting on him and get him arrested, he wants nothing to do with him. Obi-Wan takes Qui-Gon aside and suggests that perhaps he should see about contacting Kiersha and her Master, unfortunately they are undercover and cannot be contacted directly, he will need to go to Mos Eisley and personally meet their contact there and leave a message for them with him. Qui-Gon agrees and Obi-Wan leaves. Qui-Gon goes to find Anakin to ask him where else he can go to find parts and finds Padme with him; he is furious and wants to know why she disobeyed him.

Watto tells them to take their silly family squabble elsewhere,with the load of spice he has acquired he is closing early. Anakin takes them to his home where Padme andhis Mother get along swimmingly, over dinner Anakin suggests that Qui-Gon should do a little ‘side-work’ to convince Watto that he is not the ‘saint’ that Watto believes him to be. Qui-Gon smiles at that.

Montage:

Wanted poster being torn down and looked at by Qui-Gon, cut to fight scene and then Qui-Gon dragging an unconscious criminal behind him. Another poster, another fight, and a man thrown behind bars that slam closed. Wash rinse and repeat two more times, and then we see Watto handing Qui-Gon a sheet with names on it, he grimaces at the sheet but then finally shrugs. We then see Qui-Gon force slamming a man into a ceiling repeatedly until money falls from his pockets, Anakin is picking up the money and putting it into a bag, then a name is crossed out on the list. Another is slammed into a wall and then levitated until he reaches into his pocket and hands over a small bag of coins, another name is crossed off, another person is ‘force-waterboarded’ in the local well until he hands off a wad of money, another name is crossed off. We see this type of thing two more times until-

In a seedy bar Qui-Gon is leaning back in a chair one hand is upright making a lazy circular gesture, around him people are looking up toward the ceiling their mouths agape. The camera pans upward to find a very nauseous looking gentleman spinning like a ceiling fan. A chirping sound is heard and the camera pans back down to Qui-Gon, he pulls a communicator out of his robe and holds it up near his mouth, “Qui-Gon here.”

“Master, it is Obi-Wan.”

“Obi-Wan,” his face breaks into a grin and his chair settles back onto all four legs, “it is good to finally hear from you.” He stops gesturing and leans both arms onto the table. A scream erupts and behind Qui-Gon you see a man fall from the ceiling onto the floor, a cloud of dust kicks up from the impact and you can hear the needle of the jukebox’s player scrape and skip. The crowd softly 'oooooohhh’s.

“What was that?”

Qui-Gon shrugs, “Just a bar fight, nothing to worry about.” He looks around and everyone avoids his gaze and goes back to drinking.

“Sorry it has taken so long to get back to you, I only just got a message back from them this minute. What have you been doing on your end?”

Qui-Gon looks back over his shoulder at the unconscious man, Anakin is rifling through the mans pockets. “Oh, nothing much… Just taking in the sights.”

“I will be rendezvousing with Kiersha and her team tonight, I will have more information for you after that, I will send it via a encrypted Jedi channel and ‘tight beam’ it to the Yacht.”

Anakin holds up two tiny fists filled with wadded bills and smiles at Qui-Gon who nods toward the doorway and they both begin to leave, “Good work Obi-Wan, stay safe.”

“Yes Master, Obi-Wan out.”

Qui-Gon is about to put away the communicator when it chirps again, “Qui-Gon here.”

“Sir Lieutenant Conroy here, another shipment of parts has just arrived. With the parts in this shipment we should be able to move the ship to a safer location within a day, the weather and the sand is really taking a beating on this ship. It is not designed for this climate.”

“Understood, I think I may be able to secure a hanger for her where the owners will look the other way and not report your presence.”

“Excellent, I will alert you when the ship is ready for the move. By the way, how are you paying for all these parts? They can’t be cheap.”

“I have been doing a little part time work.”

“Must be one Hell of a job.”

Anakin runs up beside Qui-Gon and shoves the cash into a satchel on his side, Qui-Gon smiles and winks at him while speaking into the communicator, “Yes, you could say that.”

I like what you did there. Makes the Jedi (at least Qui-Gon) more human.

A friend and I once did this as an exercise in what we wanted to see. I wish I remembered more of what we came up with, I can see if he remembers any more.
I do remember that we wanted to have Luke & Leia’s mother also be a Jedi. We would have had the politics more in the background, and move the Jedi training off of Courscant.
Taxation of trade routes would not have been involved.

I like that idea. Please share once you chat with your friend.

I like that idea. Please share once you chat with your friend.

I don’t know if it was much more developed than that. Two young Jedi students fall in love, and keep it a secret during the clone wars.
Of course, going just by the original movies, and made some of the pre-1999 EU, then what the “Clone Wars” were exactly is pretty flexible. I do remember reading in I think “Heir to the Empire” that the Clone Wars started when someone attempted to Clone Jedis…

Hence my version, keepin’ it real. Please see above.