“Just the friction.” 
Those kids were perfectly cast.
“Who would catch a criminal and set him free?”
“Republicans?”
A 24-hour erection? You really should have gone to see a doctor about 20 hours ago. 
I have a gun. shut up.
Ah, the good old days before cell phones, when being on the way meant that plans couldn’t be changed.
You know, I think Lt. Huff is the real victim of these events. He’s almost certainly going to get fired.
if Connecticut is the fifth circle of hell, what does that make New Jersey?
doesn’t he end up quitting?
I’m terribly fuzzy on details in this movie. It’s like the first time again. 
okay, guess I was wrong. but the “I nailed your wife” thing? priceless!
“No, this is Lt. Milford. To whom am I speaking?”
Could he be more rude? Who answers someone else’s phone like that?
Purgatory.
Brilliant!
“You’re a Wong?”
“My mother was Irish.”
“And your father?”
“Wasn’t.”
Why does Lloyd get strange at family gatherings? cause his family’s there
“you wanna see Santa farting down everyone’s chimney?” what 7-year-old kid isn’t going to say yes to that?
I love the Lucia wreaths. Saint Lucia was impervious to flame. Those remembering her are not.
“I am not one of your patients!”
“If you don’t sit you ass back down in that chair, you’re gonna be someone’s patient!”
“and if you hit that kid one more time, I’m gonna shove that pig’s head up your ass”
slipper socks!!!
“What does she think? That she’s gonna take it with her?”
“I think that’s the plan.”