So after 12 years of being in a relationship it’s suddenly over. Things are too far beyond repair. We are two different people now. She is at the point where she needs to discover herself and I don’t fit in that picture anymore. Part of me saw it coming for awhile now. Part of me is still in shock. I don’t know if I want to cry or celebrate. All and all I just don’t know where to go from here. I guess I have to start looking for a place for me to live. Things are going to be interesting for the next bit. One day at a time I guess.
So sorry to hear of this outcome. As always, we’re here for you, Temp. Each and every one of us has been through some struggle, some life-change, some obstacle…and the GWC has stepped up time and time again to be that net to catch each other’s fall. Call on us for anything you may need.
Thanks I know GWC will be here yet again. Seems like I have a lot of stuff just happening one after the other… Ah well this is the roller coaster called life.
hugs friend. One day at a time is so very true. Let’s focus on finding you for who you are again. You can make it through this. And we’re here for whatever and whenever you need.
I’ve been through a couple painful breakups after long-term relationships (one of them a marriage) and feel your pain. Know this, though: It won’t just get better than right now, it’ll eventually be better than it ever was.
And yeah, we’re always here! 
I made a Breakup Mix Tape, all of songs you can find free online, during my last breakup. They start a bit mean but soften up as you go. I don’t know if it’ll help you, but it sure helped me. http://wesley.planetretcon.com/?p=52
That sounds kinda familiar. My girlfriend of 8 yrs and I broke up back in Nov. What helped me was to throw myself into all the other stuff that was part of my life. Way back when I got divorced, I had a new town, school, job and friends, so the upheaval of the lost relationship wasn’t as major. This time, I have a lot of stuff to do. Bikes to build, van to fix up, events to get in shape for. Just fill your time with stuff that keeps you from dwelling on it, and that stuff will fill in the gap. It’s also a perfect time to try out new stuff, like taking up a new hobby or something. Or, house hunting;)
P.S. It’s not the end, it’s just that uncomfortable thing that comes before a new beginning.
So this whole mess just keeps getting more and more messed up… First she wants me out. Now she is saying that I can still sleep in the same bed. Um no it’s clear there is no reason to do this. Also she suggested we still live together but date others. What the frak? Stop taking me on a roller coaster of emotional baggage. Just pick and lets do that.
Wait, are you me from 5 years ago?
Get out. Wherever you are right now, get up and just RUN.
GTFO. No good can come from anything else.
I am officially moved out. I no longer have a key to the house. I have finally got internet at my new place. Oh and a good laptop to use it on. Things are up and down. Mostly going up now. I am doing the things I want to do when I can. Starting to see friends again. Go out just cause. I might start even consider dating again. Nothing serious though. Just someone to spend time with. I have thought a lot about the past year or so. I know we were over a long time ago, we just pushed it on. So can’t wait to start meeting some GWC folks.
You’ve made a very brave step. Would have been so frakking easy to stay at the place, sleep in the same bed, just roll with it. The situation sucks and is never ever easy to part with someone you’ve been with for so long, but you clearly know you did the right thing. Breathe deep, take a moment and relish in the fact that the world awaits with infinite possibility.
The bravery just keeps coming up. I was asked on a date and I actually said yes. Really wasn’t expecting to be doing anything like that so soon. But Why not. You only live once. And I have realized I wasted a lot of time not living. Always being second best to someone else isn’t a a way to have a relationship. Time for me to hike my socks up (not literally) and get myself doing the things I want to do again. I do admit I am kinda nervous about the whole thing. I have come to see that sometimes I can be worse than Raj on Big Bang. Even alcohol doesn’t allow me to talk to women sometimes…
If she asked you, then you’re already halfway there…obviously she was interested enough to pursue you…that’s a good thing…just be the same dude that she was interested enough in to ask out…hell don’t even think of it as a “date”
Congrats on the quick rebuild and moving out (getting out was the best thing you could do)…it’s not always an easy thing…I lived with an ex for like 6 months back in 1996 when we split…things got odd for a while :eek: (but for what it’s worth she’s now one of only two ex’s I still socialize with today)
First off, fear not the pulled-up socks. Seriously. Take back the look.
I’ve talked with you at some length about this whole transition, admittedly, but to repeat, you could not have a better community to share/bare life events to, and know that you have a net of interlocked arms to catch your fall. There are a number of us who have recently weathered similar storms, and it was this group, this family, that leapt into the fray and pulled each of us out, over, or through the mess. (And continue to to this day, truth be told.)
Don’t think twice about taking “next steps” and letting yourself enjoy the risks of dating – and for frak’s sake, if someone else is asking you, take that as assurance that you’re someone worth getting to know, someone of interest, and someone of value. It’s not selfishness to want peace of mind and some happiness for yourself. When you’re doing the best for yourself, you can be that much better for others. The cycle repeats.
Namasté, brother.
I think getting through anything difficult is better when you know you have a safe place to vent/cry/shout whatever you need. I hope you try the Google hangouts, if you haven’t already- I don’t get on them as often as I’d like but I’m always glad when I do. Stay strong friend!
It’s taken me a bit to start seeing that I have more worth than I once thought I had. A lot of issues I have come from trust and being used. I often have let people step all over me. Something I have to stop allowing to happen.
But you are right Keir she contacted me first. Sure I may have been the one to suggest getting together. Although it was more of joint effort. I just put in to words what I knew she was thinking.
The group is great for uplifting ones spirits. I enjoy every one that I have come to know though the wonderful world of GWC.
I am a lot more happy with myself then I was a few weeks ago. Each day brings something new.
How did the date go? Like all first dates, kinda awkward, surely. But did y’all like each other enough to try date #2?
I’m glad that you’re feeling prepared to face whatever comes next. Temp. That’s a hard thing to do.
The first date went good. We tried for a second date… Things get in the way though… Also there is a second girl that has come into my life. Not sure where either one is going. Just waiting and seeing where life takes me.