Good attitude; believe it and you’ll make it true.
I’m meeting with docs in 3 weeks to start the process of going off meds slowly. You’re doing this with help, right?? Be safe.
I’m feeling really better right now, the last few days have SUCKED, I mean seriously, I swear I could feel my brain twitching for a few days, and the lack of brain meds REALLY messed my head around when I had my hormone shot, I was a weeping mess with very sore boobs for the longest day EVER!
Checking in with everyone - how have you all been? I’m actually doing a lot better, and surprisingly, it wasn’t because of meds. (Wasn’t expecting that.) The ADD thing ended up being a dead end - the Ritalin made me as jumpy as a caffeinated kitten at any therapeutic dose, and didn’t help me as intended. The CBT therapist I started seeing was the real key - we do some more traditional CBT and some regular talk therapy, depending on what’s going on. We’re really digging into stuff I’ve been hauling around all my life, and I guess that when you’ve carried it long enough, sometimes it just feels GOOD to get rid of it, rather than scary. Too bad I’m losing my hair. What the F is up with that? I’m 39.
I hope you’re all doing well. How does winter affect you?
Fi.
Glad to hear that CBT is helping! Definitely has made a difference for me in the past.
Winter is tough. I hate the lack of sun, feeling bundled up mentally as well as sartorially, and the short days. I always pick up Vitamin D supplements, because they are supposed to help a bit with SAD and I tend to run on the low side of normal for Vitamin D in the other seasons. I have been seriously tempted to buy a SAD Lamp–they have come down in price dramatically in the last few years and you can now get a decent model for home-use from Amazon for about $100. Haven’t bought one yet, though.
I have been doing fine, depression-wise, and my gradual weaning off of Effexor has been as smooth as it’s possible for that to be. I have, on the other hand, been pushing my brain and body WAY WAY too hard for several months now and haven’t had a real vacation since the meetup last March; my last vacay from which I came back physically and mentally relaxed was Christmas 2010. Basically, I set myself up for a breakdown of some kind. This time it’s physical, not mental, but the various costs are seriously giving me the blues. I really messed up my shoulder. Am going to need costisone shots and physical therapy and if the issue doesn’t improve, surgery (small chance, trying not to worry about it). I also stressed out the foot I injured last year by stupidly doing something my doctor told me not to do (ugh! WTF, self?). So between the foot specialist and the neck and shoulder specialist I have been banned from
–running
–arc trainer
–upper body workouts
–yoga
The running and arc trainer bans should be lifted before Thanksgiving, but the upper body and yoga bans will be with me for a while.
Given that my #1 stay sane tactic is taking my aggression and anxiety out through physical activity, I’m sad and mad at myself. And my muscles are tight and complainy. And I really want to just push myself but every time I move my shoulder twinges and I wince and remember that I need to listen to the doctors.
Meh.
I’m actually doing OK after a few weeks in the doldrums. I felt bad and ended up back on my meds, but it’s made an amazing difference, I don’t think about killing myself all the time now, it’s kinda strange.
It helps my husband has been a ROCK lately, and family swarmed like bees around an unlucky bear, so yeah, all is OK, slowly moving to good.
Hope you’re all good-ish!