James T Kirk (TOS) v Jean-Luc Picard (TNG)

I know Kirk vs. Picard is in the Geek Deathmatch Forum subtitle but I searched the entire thread and what did I find? Can you believe it? We’ve actually never done that poll! So to start off your work week here’s just the poll to correct it. James T Kirk, Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701 and U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-A (The Original Series, folks - We’re going old school William Shatner here - No Chris Pine action this time) against Jean-Luc Picard, Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-D and U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-E.

This poll was done off the cuff at the 2013 International Meetup during the Trek panel and some would say the results were less than … reflective … of the entire GWC community. So here is your chance to correct that. For the next 10 days, roughly April 8, 2013 to April 18, 2013 you have you chance to vote on who would win this Geek Deathmatch, Kirk or Pricard.

As per normal GWC Geek Deathmatch rules this poll will be anonymous. However, if you vote and you don’t post why you voted the way you did people may think you aren’t very secure in your choice to begin with and will consider themselves correct no matter what the outcome is here. So I encourage you to post for your Captain once you vote. Don’t be shy. Let us all in on why you think Kirk will beat up unmercifully on Picard. Cause we all KNOW that’s what would happen. Picard’s got an artifical heart. And he doesn’t have any hair. Kirk wins. Hands down.

two types of Star Trek captains … Kirk … and not Kirk.

OB

voting for the underdog…

So unfair to compare ANYONE to Kirk

Sisko…

No seriously, I’m going with Picard.

JLP takes Kirk down after Kirk’s second failed judo chop, then further humiliates him by beating him at chess and as punishment makes him drink tea. Because he can.

Three words:

Orion Slave Girl!!!

//youtu.be/zT2sIF3Iyqk

OB

James T. Kirk then, now, forever.

Kirk…

Top One Hundred Reasons Why Captain Kirk is Better Than Captain Picard
by Hemi and the Farkmaster
100. Kirk is a leader, not a follower.
99. Kirk never really got into that kinky “Jumpsuit” look.
98. Kirk has sex more than once a season.
97. One Word: Hair.
96. Another Word: Pretty-good-looking-can’t-see-the-weave-WIG.
95. Kirk can beat up a Klingon bare-handed.
94. Picard is a French man with an English accent.
93. Kirk would date Beverly Crusher – and damn the consequences!!
92. Kirk never drinks tea. Ever.
91. Diplomacy for Kirk is a phaser and a smirk.
90. Kirk would personally throw Wesley off his bridge.
89. Two words: Shoulder Roll.
88. Kirk doesn’t wear dresses when admirals arrive for lunch.
87. Kirk once said: “I’ve got a belly-ache – and it’s a beauty.”
86. Kirk would never sing to children in a crisis.
85. Kirk can almost drive a stick shift.
84. Kirk, almost single-handedly, re-populated the Earth’s whale population.
83. Kirk says “Prime Directive? What Prime Directive?”
82. Kirk knows 20th Century curses.
81. Kirk was NEVER infiltrated by the Borg and used against the Federation.
80. Kirk ate little coloured cubes and still remainedrelatively healthy.
79. Kirk made do with obviously low performance technology.
78. Kirk never pretends to be a barber in order to gain a tactical advantage.
77. Kirk wasn’t shy about taking his shirt off–even around those pesky Yeomans.
76. Kirk would never waste a holodeck on something stupid like Dixon Hill.
75. Kirk never once stood up and had to straighten his shirt.
74. One Word: Velour.
73. Kirk can beat a Vulcan at Chess.
72. When Kirk was Picard’s age, he retired from Admiral and took to climbing rocks.
71. When Picard was 37, he was only Captain of the lowly freighter Stargazer. When Kirk was 37, he was Captain of the flagship
Enterprise.
70. Kirk liked a good belt of liquor every now and again.
69. One Word: Iman.
68. Kirk looks good with a ripped shirt.
67. If Kirk ever met a Ferengi, he would rip off its head and shit down its neck.
66. Kirk says “Shoot first and wait for retaliation.”
65. Kirk’s first officer NEVER tells him to stay on the bridge.
64. Kirk never leaves the room to bawl somebody out.
63. Kirk doesn’t rely on the wisdom of some dumb old janitor to get him out of intergalactic scrapes.
62. Two Words: Funky Sideburns.
61. Kirk never asks his bartender for advice.
60. Kirk never once said “Abandon ship! All hands abandon ship!”
59. Kirk is not politically correct. 5
58. Kirk never got “dumped” by a woman for an intergalactic busy body named after a letter of the alphabet.
57. Kirk never wore green tights and frolicked about in Sherwood Forest.
56. If there was ever a Klingon on Kirk’s bridge, Kirk would likely be dead.
55. Ever hear of a bar shooter called “Make it so?” No? How about a “Beam me up Scotty” then? See the difference?
54. One Word: Miniskirts.
53. Kirk’s girlfriends always look good in soft light.
52. Kirk never went anywhere without a whole bunch of guys in red shirts.
51. Kirk’s first officer didn’t play some wimpy instrument like the trombone.
50. Kirk had more dates than his first officer.
49. The extent of Kirk’s knowledge of Klingon vocabulary can be roughly translated as “GO F*CK YOURSELF.”
48. If something doesn’t speak English – it’s toast.
47. Kirk wasn’t some prissy archaeology fan.
46. Picard’s middle name isn’t tough or awe-inspiring like Tiberius is.
45. If Kirk finds a strange spinning probe, he blows it up.
44. Picard never met Joan Collins.
43. Picard flunked his entrance exams to Starfleet.
42 Picard hasn’t fathered any children; Kirk --probably millions.
41. Kirk has a cool phaser – not some pansy Braun mix-master.
40. Two Words: Line Delivery.
39. Picard grew up on a quaint little French vineyard, squishing grapes with his toes, while Kirk slung bails of wheat and hay in Iowa to put himself through school.
38. Kirk emphasizes his orations with pertinent hand gestures.
37. Kirk once made a cannon out of bamboo, sulphur, potassium nitrate, charcoal and then fired diamonds into the hearts of his enemies. (Need we say more?)
36. Kirk is not put off by green skin.
35. Kirk knows how to deal with peace loving hippy goofs.
34. Kirk once fought a Greek god. And won.
33. Kirk barely asks for suggestions. And if he does, he asks Spock only.
32. Kirk doesn’t let the doctor tell him what to do.
31. One Word: Fisticuffs.
30. Kirk’s name is hated throughout the galaxy.
29. Kirk appreciates Shakespeare, but he doesn’t let it show.
28. You can never lock up Kirk for very long.
27. Kirk’s eulogies can actually make you cry.
26. Kirk plays god with lesser cultures, and then exploits them for resources.
25. Kirk’s son would never drop out to become a musician.
24. Kirk can climb up a Jeffries Tube and fix anything.
23. Kirk never hired an engineer with punk glasses.
22. The Klingons didn’t have a word for surrender – until they met Kirk.
21. Kirk’s bridge is not beige.
20.Two Words: Crane Shots.
19. Picard likes wimpy violin music – and coerces Data into playing it.
18. Picard allows cats on board, while Kirk beams away even really cute things, like Tribbles.
17. Kirk is a cultural icon – Picard is just some guy who’s really nice.
16. Kirk specifically ordered a swivel LA-Z-BOY for the bridge.
15. Kirk would never touch SYNTHAHOL.
14. Kirk looks distinguished in reading glasses – and nobody dares to call him"four eyes."
13. Kirk can infiltrate Gangsters, Nazis, and even the Pentagon – easily.
12. Picard likes painting nudes, for art’s sake.
11. When Kirk doesn’t trust the Romulans, he fires at them. When Picard doesn’t trust the Romulans, he gets fired at.
10. Kirk never once, ever,wore a wiener wrapping Speedo banana hammock on shore leave.
9. Kirk never gets his command codes locked out by some pimply acting ensign.
8. Kirk doesn’t test the engines – he just fires them up.
7. When Kirk says “Boldly Go,” he MEANS it.
6. Three Words: Flying Leg Kick
5. Picard’s crew would never ever think of him as a sexual object.
4. Kirk traveled through The Great Barrier, met God, and wasn’t even impressed.
3. Kirk’s bedroom is a passion pit with electric sheets.
2. Kirk would never let his Chief of Security wear a ponytail.

  1. One Word: Balls.

Way back I created a thread:

http://forum.galacticwatercooler.com/showthread.php?7022-What-s-so-great-about-Captain-Kirk&highlight=Kirk

Read at your leisure.

Now to the match at hand. If we’re talking about a brawl, 80+ year old Shatner could flat out kick Sir Patrick Stewart’s arse. That is just a fact. But we’re talking about Kirk VS. Picard. Barring the movies, you could count on one hand how many times Picard threw a punch. Kirk would dispatch Picard in under a minute.

I will put this debate to bed by analyzing the one time we had both Captains working together. In Generations, Picard faces off against Soran. He tries to save his crew, ship, and a solar system and loses. The Enterprise crashes, the planet explodes, and the crew and inhabitants of the Solar System are obliterated. Picard, however, escapes. Nice job, Captain.

Picard winds up in the Nexus and calls on the help of James T Kirk. Picard isn’t man enough to go back and face Soran. No instead he grabs 65-year-old Kirk out of retirement to help him out. Ahem, Picard. You know Soran is in the Nexus with you, right? That isn’t even the worst of it. Kirk decides to go back and make a difference since it’s obvious this captain asking can’t get the job done. Kirk kicks Soran’s arse and sends him running. Then he has to save Picard…again. Kirk crosses a flimsy and shaky bridge to activate the PADD and disable the cloak so Picard can “save the day.” Once they are saved, the bridge falls and Kirk is mortally wounded. Here is the defining moment. James T Kirk has faced Death in the unknown, with his friends, his crew, and his enemies. He always reigned triumphant. It took the incompetency of one Captain Jean-Luc Picard for James T Kirk to meet his end. Oh my, indeed.

I rest my case.

yeah … what FT said … and there is :

Kirk == Marty McFly … Picard==Biff

//youtu.be/S1i5coU-0_Q

OB

there had better not be any questions!!!

I was raised on TNG. Picard was my first Captain. You never forget your first Captain. Plus. Sexier.

//youtu.be/G2y8Sx4B2Sk

Kidding a side … Kirk is the proto-captain … the others are found … wanting in comparison.

OB

YMMV

This is a DEATHMATCH! I totally get the affection and devotion that folks have for TNG since it introduced them to Star Trek. But you don’t go in against James T Kirk when Death is on the line!!

agreed … if these young-ling do not see reason … we’ll have to fade into the west I fear FT. I will have no place in their world … a world without hope … a world without love … a world without KIRK.

//youtu.be/616YMt6T5mA

OB

You have reasoned it out.

At this point Picard is winning…oh wait…Did anyone mention Kirk’s blatant disregard for the no win scenario?
Bottom line: Kirk wins.

So far Picard is winning 9-7. There are a plethora of reasons (over 112 so far) why Kirk would win and an entire thread devoted to why Kirk is awesome. On the other hand, these are the only reasons why Picard would win:

So someone voted for Picard as the underdog, someone chose Picard instead of Sisko, Solai seems to think Picard could even get Kirk to drink tea (even though Kirk can actually beat a Vulcan in chess but Picard never did), and Evolutiongirl thinks he is sexy. Come on folks, you are going to have to do better than that or else the Kirk crowd will continue to say they win no matter what the votes say.

Come on folks, you are going to have to do better than that or else the Kirk crowd will continue to say they win no matter what the votes say.

Numbers mean nothing. Kirk has always beaten the odds. The Kirk folks know that ‘Risk is our business.’ We don’t hide behind rules, regulations, and political correct jargon. We’re not clean and pristine. We get dirty and our shirts get ripped. Every. Time.

We don’t feel guilty for sleeping with the girl and wake up next to some god who judges us. (Tapestry). We don’t allow some cyberpunks to assimilate us. (Best of Both Worlds). We don’t even contemplate that some child should die because some ridiculous society says so. (Justice).

We create change. We overthrow societies subjugated by machines. We kill every god we encounter. And we don’t allow anyone to harm the people under our protection. Every Red Shirt has been avenged. No one ever got away with that. Think about it.

(That should goad them out)

Being raised on Kirk myself, I can see that argument.

I went to look at that thread to see what 3-years-ago me had to say on the subject…and naturally all I talked about was the Star Trek women I had a crush on :smiley:

“failed judo chop”??? How dare you say such things.

I voted for Kirk of course, but my huge respect for Picard is for those moment when he is willing to risk his life AND be fully prepared to die, just for a greater moral purpose or principal … like the prime directive.

Picard does exactly that in Who Watches the Watchers

If the very last moment of this clip doesn’t make you weep, I don’t even want to know you

//youtu.be/h2tQ7V2oCTs

Wait, did I vote for Kirk? :o

Oh, and here is Picard facing death without hesitating

//youtu.be/IHbYchaLc9k

I will not go quietly … I will not lie down.

wait for it … time cue 2:21.

//youtu.be/0zGeS8OFjEs

OB