On another thread we are talking about dateing while being a fan of geek media and how to find happiness. I figure we can all chime in with our takes on the subject!!!
I have had a pretty good run at dateing, fitting in to society, while maintaining “the geek in me”. Here are a few of the secrets to …
.......Dateing while being a geek!
Ok. I am a fan of media and games that society has labeled geek. I like geeky stuff. There is a system to dateing while being a geek. Outsiders to our hobbies often think that we are all dorks. While almost all dorks are geeks, most geeks are actually not dorks. It is impotant to let it be known that you are a geek… without comeing across as a dork.
None of these are neccesary for all people but they all can at least help you to get along in the world. This is for the geek that either hasn’t EVER really dated anyone… and is looking for a tolerant other person… or maybe a fellow geek.
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Fellow Geeks: Go to the gym. ( I’m not saying to meet people, but that is ok too) You don’t have to go for the body of a He-stud or a background dancer from a mucic video. but you need to take care of yourself. Many geeks didn’t play sports when they were younger and feel “left out” in the body department. Just work on yourself a little and even if you aren’t where society wants you… you’re at least working on it and you will feel better about yourself. The opposite sex picks up on insecurities. Have pride that your not a couch potato. The opposite sex can get past looks for the right person easily… especialy if they know that your working on it! If you already look good. Keep it up… the world often goes by a little easy if you feel and look good.
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Hygene, clean apartment, buy new clothes at least yearly ( this tends to be our guy friends) … we all know that great guy, he’s sweet, he’s smart, he’s a fellow fan, he’s your lifeline of you ever went on Millionaire… but he has never figured out where his hair brush or toothpaste are. But, he knows where his RUSH t-shirt from a concert in 11th grade is… cause he is wearing it twice a week ( without washing). Get it togehter. We don’t want to be superficial… but we are still animals. Only the nicest, most understanding, and even more lonly women want to put up with this one! Handle bussiness.
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Often your whole life is your geek hobby… so you want to talk about it instantly with everyone you meet. That’s ok. Speak about it with confidence… don’t shamefully admit something. Say " I like Star Trek!" with confidence.
But, understand completely and WITHOUT DEBATE if they don’t. Don’t be offended if the person thinks it’s dorky. You might like geeky things… but those thins don’t define you unless YOU make them. Accept that society has sterotypes for some of what we like. Don’t blame the people that label us… blame the Dorks that give credence to the sterotype. Don’t get offended at the laymen. It’s those Dorks out there that have done this too you. Your not going to change it on the spot. If everything else clicks and you start dateing… you can attempt to change their minds later! If they like you… they’ll be up for the expierience. If you push them early on ( or in a social situation where it doesn’t fit)… you just look like a Dork.
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Just be a cool person that IS YOU. Don’t try to be a character that is “the different guy” ( biggest geek mistake ever). Being different is cool… if you really are. TRYING to convince people that you are this other person (character) isn’t. If you want to wear a Cat in the Hat cap around because YOU like it… that’s cool. If you are doing it because you know that it will cause a scene and it works for your character… you look like a douche! It works for a while, but eventualy they see thru it. What then: you’re burned out… and in the end… they don’t like you or your fake persona. Just be yourself.
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Be yourself doesn’t mean say and do EVERYTHING that pops into your mind. Hold a little back. Don’t be desperate for this to “work out”. Go with the flow. learn to gauge people. Until you can gauge people in class or work… dateing is going to suck!
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Do the things you like and meet people that like them too. IF you are Really really cool and hot, you can meet a chick at a bar and convert her into likeing scifi, no problem. This whole thread isn’t for you. If your haveing problems dateing , what makes you think your going to walk into a bar and convince a sorority girl to start watching Babylon 5? Reaasonable expectaions: Hang out and do what you want to do. If you have followed the above… you should eventually meet someone availible. A single person ( or a person that would be willing to get single for the right person) who likes what you like , is attracted to you a little if you are right there right under their nose.
I’m gonna preach it to the fella’s (since you ladies already know that if you show up at a con we are breaking our knecks to flirt with you!).
If she is there and talking to you… there is a reason. It might just be that you are intersting. But that is a BIG point in your favor. Many guys aren’t intersting at all… women put up with the personality of the good looking guy, but wish he were more like them. If you ARE like them… you have a neck up on the casual guy. If your attrative and into the same stuff… you’re shooting fish in a barrell. It’s easier than it sounds. You just have to not worry about it so much. so here’s my wrap up! Look your best, stay clean, be yourself, don’t always be yourself, set reasonable expectaions… and have confidence.
That’s how I feel! How about you?!?!