MC Frontalot has some particularly dense (in the good way) lyrics. Might help take your mind off of things.
personally i like “explosions in the sky” all great albums… sample a couple songs, then just grab them all
cant really describe it, but techno, ambient, mellow ish, is about the best i can get… and the techno part is a stretch, but check it out… if ur @ the meetup i can give ya a copy
Wish I was going to the meet up. Sadly doesn’t look like I can. With the way things are I should be here. Knowing my luck if I tries to come to the meet up I’d be held in customs. Thanks for the music suggestions. I’ll look at them when I get the chance tonight.
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Ok so I haven’t updated this in awhile. Not sure what to all say. My mom is still in the hospital. They are aiming for a mid March release. She is very emotional still. Partly from the drugs and partly from well just being stuck there. Sometimes she forgets things too. On Saturday my step dad, my two girls, and I went to visit her. After we left she didn’t remember my step dad saying goodbye. This really upset her and she cried most the night. Before she left she asked me wanted to get an iPod with some music. I happen to have a spare that my step dad won a few years ago. So I spent 2 hours Sat night and most of Sunday downloading and synching a bunch of 50’s and 60’s music. I also added the Dirty Dancing and Grease soundtracks since she loves those movies. Plus on the iPod is two of our friends. We have two people that have multiple CDs out there. Jamie Warren and Thomas Wade. Jamie and my mom have been friends since I was a wee lad. Some not so good as come of this though. My step dad has started smoking again. He says that it’s just a phase and he will stop again. I really hope so. Plus his drinking needs to change. The emotional drain has finally caught up to me and I spent March 2nd at home sleeping all day. I really needed that though. Thankfully my work is good about everything that is going on.
It still surprises me how easy it is to just vent here. I would not even consider doing this on any other form. GWC people are amazing and unique. No where else do I feel a sense of belonging like I do here.
As the meet up gets closer I wish everyone attending it safe passage to Texas. I hope you all enjoy your time together. I will be thinking of you all. I will be tweeting and if all goes well using skype to join in. Maybe next year I will be able to attend.
If there is any GWC’er in the Area of Ontario between London and Toronto let me know. maybe we can do a micro meet up.
Thanks again for all the support.
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So my mom went into the hospital for her second round of chemo. This chemo will be more stronger but every other day. She is in a semi private isolation room. This just means we all have to wear gloves and a gown to see her.
I had more that I tried to post but due to a iPhone forum crash it didn’t post. I will try and get it on here from the direct post to badgerspoon on twitter.
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Prayers and hopes are with her.
Your Mom is in my thoughts as she goes through this second round of chemo. Hang in there dude!
I. Haven’t been updating this like I was hoping I would. I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately. I got really down to the point of wanting to just shut myself in a room by myself. That is the bad news.
Now for the good news. My mom finished her second treatment of chemo. She went through this round much better. Although a few days after she did develop a reaction on her face and hands. This is typical though. So now we wait a couple days for them to test her marrow again. Her brother is a match so there is a good news. Also her counts are actually climbing on her own. So life is looking up.
Thank you again for all the support.
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Where to start. I sit here wondering how to type this and not sure if I can. I talked to my mom tonight. Things for her are not going so well. Monday she was supposed to have a lumbar puncture test to see if the cancer has spread. Well they had to cancel that because her plateletts were too low. She is in the 30% range. Ideal range is 100% +. The Dr. is willing to do it at 70-80% though. She also has lost muscle contorl on the left side of her face. They are not sure what casued this. It could have been a mini stroke. It could also be from the chemo itself. Or it could be the worst and the cancer has spread to her nerves. If that is the case then there is nothing more they can do. Atleast that I know of at the moment. If she is worse she wants to go home and live her life out the way she wants to. I really hate the way this world works right now. I have lost 3 people in my family to a form of cancer. My aunt 10 yrs ago. My grandpa 3 yrs ago. Now I have to sit her and wait. Its not fair how my mom has surrvived one form of cancer only to be hit with another one later in life. How is it that dick head fuckers that waste their lives doing all sorts of crap can get off clean. Ug it just pisses me right off. There are people that should be dead that are living like kings. Makes me really question what the hell GOD has in mind. Yes I brough that into it. Right now I really just need a way out for a bit. Some real form of distraction. I can hardly sleep. I hardly have time to go see my mom as much as I want to. I can’t even have a few hours to myself right now just to sit and well do nothing. Life sucks so much right now. I just want things to be better again.
Sorry about the rant but I needed to do it.
Hang in there. We lost my father-in-law about 6 years ago. He had battled prostate cancer off and on for years. They gave him a month and he lasted 4. Of course they were spent in a nursing home slowly going paralyzed due to the tumor on his spine. It was only his will that kept him alive through the holidays. It was most definitely the worst thing I have ever had to endure. But I did get through it even though it still hurts just as bad now as it did then.
Please, just vent here if you need to and know that we are all here for you. I’ll be thinking of you and your mom…
It’s good to get the anger out and keep it from festering. My Mom had a breast removed over a year ago and is doing the pill chemo. She has up days and down days, but so far, so good.
No, it’s not fair. I agree. But we’re rolling with it. I hung out with her early on Mother’s Day- just us two. It’s the time we spend together that means more than any other type of gift.
I don’t want that phone to ring with bad news. So I make the most of the time I have while I’m with her, or chatting on facebook, or on the phone. I keep a journal to write my most poisonous stuff and it makes me feel so much better.
You have a right to express your feelings and this is a great place for it.
You are heard. You are understood. We are here.
Hugs to your Mom and to you and yours.
I’m so sorry to hear that, she will be in my thoughts
No need to apologize for the rant. No doubt most of us have been touched by cancer among family/friends. Just hang in there and support your Mom until you know more about what’s going on.
Indeed homie - aint nothing wrong with a little ranting. Moms are OSSIM and when they are sick, you want to do all you can for them. Be there as much as you can, if you can make her laugh (joke, fond memory, etc) do so. If you need to vent or rant here, have at it.
Keepin’ a good thot and prayer for you guys.
So today wasn’t a too good of day for news. My mom had a meeting with her Dr today. So here is where things stand. She is going to try her third round of chemo on Sunday. If she does this round and it doesn’t get her leukemia levels below the 5% mark it will be her last round of chemo. They won’t do anymore. If she gets to the level needed she can do her bone marrow transplant from her brother. If she doesn’t well it will be weeks of life left. There is another option for some experimental treatments. They won’t do this though unless they get her platelets up to do the lumbar test. They need that sample to prove that she has no cancer in her spinal cord. Or she had the third option of just giving up. Which she hasn’t done. I am thankful for that. I also had to go to a visitation for my friends grandpa tonight (actually last night since it is now after midnight). So I am really not sure where everything stands. While at the funeral home my mom asked about prices for a service there. I wish I had someone here I can actually talk to without them snapping like my wife. How this all pisses her off. How the hospital doesn’t seem like they know what they are doing. How her Dr.s should have gotten her in sooner for blood work. That’s what makes this all the more hard. She’s wondering about a malpractice suit. Can’t it just be how it is. Yes it’s crappy but why complicate it more. I already have enough to worry about with my step dad.
I’m so sorry to hear this new. Your mom sounds like one strong, brave woman. I hope you’re enjoying your day with her today.
Glad to hear that your Mom is still up for fighting the disease. Hope her chemo treatment today goes well and that she’ll be able to do the marrow transplant. And sorry to hear that your spouse is not being very supportive during this. 
Everyone deals with crisis differently but she should try to understand that things just happen sometimes. Stay strong for your Mom. Keeping you and her in my thoughts.
So today has been one f****Ed of a day. I started all happy and chipper. I managed to get a great night sleep. Minus the messed dream of the cats barfing. So I go to work feeling pretty good. The morning goes by not to badly. Spent most of it scratching my head wondering how the one guy can go home so many times early. So then 1:20 hits. Shit hits the fan. A shipment of new trucks come in. Well that means I now have to do the lazy guys job. So I’m in the middle of backing a new truck out of my wash bay when crunch. My back passenger tire and mud flap connects with the front passenger side quarter fender of another new truck. So I go tell my boss who in turns yells at me. Saying “If you can’t drive a vehicle you’re no good to us here.” So I was totally expecting to get my walking papers. Then through all this brew I feel like I could break down. Also started thinking about this guy at the funeral home. He kept staring at my mom who was there to pay her respects while she was out for the day. He kept looking at her with disgust. I’ve never had the urge to punch someone like I did him. So after doing the lazy guys job I calmed down. I still felt horrible though.
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So I write this in a very unsure time. My mom has had the worst reaction this time to the chemo. She also has now contracted a blood infection ms is very run Down and in a lot of pain. We still have to way a few more days to find out If the chemo did it’s job. Sadly I don’t think it did and she will not be coming home. It’s hard to always think positive and I am also getting run down from lack of sleep. The only distraction I have is the watching of Chuck in order to get caught up. It was hard to be at my daughters dance recital this year with out my mom there to watch. I am feeling really lost right now.
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Don’t give up hope. I have a friend that went through chemo and after one round got a blood infection. That doesn’t mean that the chemo failed. I hope the best for your Mom’s results when you get them in a few days. Stay stong for her and rest when/where ever you can.