Sometimes I hear something said in the podcast that makes me fall off my chair in hysterical laughter.
This time it was Audra saying “Grandpa Goo is kind of like the Constitution of the United States in that it’s all about how you interpret what is said.” I had to stop my iPod right there and collect myself. I not mocking Audra’s point–her point was a good one. It’s just that the literal image conjoured up made me lose it.
So let’s travel back in time shall we to Philadelphia in 1787 --the formative years of the U.S.A. (this contains no historical accuracies, so chill please.)
James Madison: My dear colleagues of the Continental Congress, we have accomplished much as a young nation. We have declared independence from Great Britain and have defeated that nation at Yorktown. Now we must turn to the task of establishing a Government of the United States. I have discussed the matter with Alexander Hamilton, we believe the we should from a Constitutional convention in order to draft a Constitution. General Washington, we ask that you preside over this convention.
George Washington: I would be honored to do so, Mr. Madison. In our previous discussions we had talked about a basic framework similar to the constitution John Adams drafted for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. I think we can all agree that it serves a model well suited for America, with three branches of government and checks and balances.
John Adams: General Washington, you do me great honor to makes such a suggestion, and I heartily agree. If I may humbly say, the Massachusetts Constitution will indeed be an ideal framework for our new nation’s government. Shall we begin to form the proper committees and begin the process?
Romo Lampkin: Sirs, if I may interject an alternative idea?
James Madison: My apologies, congressman, …my eyesight is poor…I do not recognize you. What state do you represent?
Lampkin: I’m from …uh…the 13th colony…Um, nevermind, it’s not important. What’s important here is that we, in this august body of patriots, remember that we are creating a new nation. And that nation’s government should be based on new concepts, new liberties, new freedoms. Oh, yes, we could dust off the tired old ideas of previous documents. But is that what we as a nation stand for?
George Washington: What is it that you propose, sir?
Lampkin: Let us not live in the past and talk of constitutions and checks and balances. I propose we place a man of advanced years…a Grampa as it were…into a tub a goo. And let that shine forth, this Grampa Goo, as the foundation of a new nation.
John Adams: That is absurd? Who are you?
Thomas Jefferson: It is not absurd. I favor the idea, and I’m much more popular than you Adams. A Grandpa Goo is precisely what this nation is all about!! At Monticello I have been tinkering with the formula for just that type of goo tub.
Benjamin Franklin: I agree with Jefferson. Adams, put a cork in it. You won’t be popular until the 21th century when they invent HBO.
John Adams: What!! This is crazy!
Lampkin: If you will all excuse me, I must now take my considerable talents elsewhere (walks out of the Hall, leaving his cane behind.)
