This week we dive into the first X-Men movie. Highlights: we struggle to understand the motivations of Magneto and Xavier, wade through the history of the many characters who make appearances in the flick, speculate on why Wolverine is pissy, Cyclops is dickish, and Jean Gray is maybe a little boring (in the movie), note the differences in powers between men and women in X-Men and how it affects the way they fight, discuss the many sordid relationships in X-Men history, hear Sean’s why-Xavier-is-evil argument, and talk battle room, Storm’s sex life, bubble boobs, and comics as life inspiration.
Man…I’m a comics guy and you guys are doin a sorta decent job but I’mma have to call in next week.
Two and a half hours. I best get started. 
Just finished watching X-Men #1 on the DVR via Cinemax. Didn’t listen to the 'cast yet.
I was a big X-Men guy back in the day (Claremont golden age of the late 80s-early 90s), and I have numerous issues with the X-Movies. But I’m not gonna bag on it here. It’s far better than the 90s Batman movies.
Instead, here’s some random notes and trivia:
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Jean Grey/Phoenix is played by Famke Jansen, who is just hot. And good. She’s played many a supporting role in flicks like Rounders (also on cable this month). I wish she’s get a good, meaty role.
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Toad is played by Ray Park, who played Darth Maul. That’s not his real tongue. And I guess the Darth Maul horns weren’t real, either.
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Wolverine to Cyclops: “You’re a d*ck” might be the best line from the whole trilogy.
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Rogue is played by Anna Paquin, who’s the star of HBO’s vampire comedic drama True Blood, which just wrapped up, but is totally good.
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In my formative years, many Saturday afternoons were spent at the comic shop. Saturday nights were Star Trek: TNG. Patrick Stewart as Professor X was a dream come true, but there’s a little much Jean Luc Picard in the role to really make it soar. I think.
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Storm is played by Halle Berry. The November issue of Esquire declares her, at age 42 and shortly after having a child, the Sexiest Woman Alive. No argument there.
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I know when you’re making movies, you need to go with the actors who can act best. But I have this ongoing rant about how superhero movies tend to be filled with actors who look like soap-opera leads who work out doing pilates. There’s not one thick neck or pair of giant biceps in X-Men #1. And I think that chips away at the movie’s believability.
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I’m totally not a fan of Wolverine as portrayed by Hugh Jackman. But I’ll hold off on that thought, for the sake of keeping it positive.
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Looking forward to the 'cast!
That whole Jubilee blowing up Magneto thing? I don’t believe that ever happened. Nor are Jubilee’s powers to mess with stuff at a molecular level. There are mutants that can do that but they’re Omega-class. Phoenix, Iceman, Mr. M, the reality warpers (Scarlet Witch, Franklin Richard, etc). Jubilee well…at best she’s basically a low power long range Gambit (They both charge up objects so they explode, Gambit is more powerful but is limited to touch)
Pyro could NOT light the atmosphere on fire or anything else. He doesn’t even produce flames on his own. He’s just manipulates flames. So I guess if he was near a atmospheric nuking he could cover the world with it but that’s not the same thing as having the ability to burn the world in my opinion. And Jubilee is NOT that strong
On Hugh Jackman:-
I remember reading an interview of John C. McGinley a while back, and he did say jokingly it was Bill Lawrence (creator of Scrubs) who can’t stand him, and it’s because Hugh Jackman is just too talented - he’s Wolverine, he’s physicall flawless, he’s drop dead gorgeous, he’s won a Tony, he has a nice accent, he can sing, he can dance, he can act, he’s so likeable, etc… he’s like perfection personified. And that is why.
And on that, I think it totally makes sense why someone like Dr. Cox hates Hugh Jackman. He’s way too good and cheery and high on life for Dr. Cox NOT to hate him. Wouldn’t it be great if they could actually get Hugh Jackman to guest star in Scrubs? That would be awesome.
Anyhoo. I miss Dr. Cox’s rants. He, like Sean, could be Mr. Furious.
I always heard that John C. McGinley went out for the Wolverine part or a different part that he didn’t get but Jackman did.
Halle Berry != Storm
Grace Jones = Storm
Just my opinion…
BTHR
Here’s the comic I was referring to on my call - I got it signed by the artist and writer last summer at Comic Con
Agreed. I always thought Iman was probably the person who looked most like storm with her exotic features. Halle’s beautiful but not very storm-like imho.
:DHappy Birthday Audra!!
Hope you get plenty of PIIIEEE!!!
Actually as much as I have always loved Halle - I thought Angela Basset would have made a great Storm
Excellent, excellent stuff sir! My favorite kind of x-men discussion.
Well let me go in the order you did so I don’t get myself confused. Ok, the Jubilee/Magneto thing. As I said it didn’t happen in the main line stories. In fact, it was a short series of mini-comics from a cereal box campaign, of which, I had 5 of the 7 comics that were released around the same time as the animated series in the 90’s. I know I still have them somewhere and will dig them out for ya, its always kewl to pass on the hotness. (I will of course use my – ahem - power of non-copyright infringement to replicate them and send you what I’ve got 
) Like I said I do have 1-5, which contains the material in question - apparently I didn’t eat fast enough.
As for classes of mutants, this is always one of my favorite topics. Because the classes reflect the imagination (or lack there of) of the person who created it - be it mutant registration commissions or even Prof. X himself. One of the most interesting things about these characters is that they can come up with crazy ways to do things if pushed hard enough.
Like for instance our friend Pryo. It’s true he can’t create the fire but he can control and enlarge/constrict/shape it. Which had he some imagination – and a lighter - he would realize that things around him burn and should he feel like it he could create a scorched earth policy from here to hell and back. It would take a while yes but with a bit of planning he could make the planet unlivable. Lets say by burning the earth’s forests starting with the “lungs of the world” in the Amazon. Should he burn enough greenery (forests, plants, plains, crops) in this way he could cut off enough of our oxygen supply to make the planet a very dead place.
It’s true Jubilee started out as little more than firecracker light show but since she was a fairly minor character she’s been tossed about the redrawing board more than once. In Generation X she was vamped from sparklers up to detonating matter at the subatomic level which she demonstrated in the acts of vengence arc by ‘sploding a building because she was scared …and of course I won’t go into the whole Wondra thing.
Which brings me back to what is a sort of past time of mine and that’s figuring out how effective mutant powers can really be. Sure, the awesome magnitude of someone like Phoniex is difficult to match but that does not mean you can’t be a walking holocost with well applied power in the right area. Which is really the point I was doing a terrible job on the cast of making. 
… sorry about the long posting
This is going to be the geekiest arc evah. I can’t wait for everyone to weigh in.
The thing that struck me about this movie, is that they got Cyclops exactly right. he’s kind of a dick, but he needs to be. That’s his role. And I think the showed that he not only was that, but was aware of it.
Hugh Jackman had it easy by comparison.
Great 'cast today, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUDRA!
I’ve been re-reading Deathly Hallows lately, and it really struck me when you were talking about Professor X and Magneto you could have easily been talking about Albus Dumbledore and Grindewald. The use of people by their own will or by manipulation, all for the perceived “greater good” seems to be prevalent in all four of those characters. I found it particularly interesting that Gridewald and Albus also came of age in the WW2 era.
Also, Chuck mentioned that you can read the X-men comics online. Anyone have a link?
Yeah there’s ways Pyro COULD do extreme things but he’s a punk and Iceman would show up and be like “sup bro, I just froze the molecules in your fire. Suck it” Big ups to Iceman, he needs to get his arse in gear. In X-men: Manifest Destiny it at least looks like he’s getting a power upage. If you got on twitter, hint HINT, I’d throw you some images of it.
As for Jubilee…man that ain’t canon you can’t bring that into discussions =P I thought by not-mainline story you meant like. X-Factor or something. And the buildin thing, Gambit at range. As far as I know she can’t like look at an apple and make it disappear molecule by molecule like say Phoenix can or Mr M or Mad Jim Jaspers or Scarlet Witch or Franklin Richards. The heavy matter manipulators.
I gotta go back and read the issues where Emma took over Iceman and just made him into a total bamf, or read Age of Apocalypse again where he’s learned he can’t be a chump or he’s gonna get tore up.
Oh and I’m totally callin in tonight about Xavier bein a dick. Cause he is. For even more stuff you forgot/didn’t want to/didn’t have time/thought you were gonna bore people with to mention.
AND come out in support of the new Cyclops, leader of the X-men and general awesome guy
I’m not quite sure what that was after the credits but it was AWESOME.
You, sir, win the prize.
You may have heard Sean mention that Audra has a habit of “meowing” tunes, which is infectious. Sean says he’s caught himself doing it a couple of times.
Anyway, this is Audra all by herself re-creating a piece of a tune called “Moog Marmalade” by Galactic. In short, it’s Audra and I f—ing around in the studio. Thought you might enjoy.
(And Galactic, BTW, is pretty sweet if you’re into funk.)