I suck at storytelling but I plan to do a short version and if people want to read it, they can get the more detailed version in the bit underneath.
Thanks! 
It’s all thanks to history itself. Don’t quote me on it, but from what I can remember from school actual ninjas back in the day actually do quite often disguise themselves as other ninjas to infiltrate the enemy camps. They’ve won battles with that strategy. Which make sense considering the ninja attire, I guess.
As for Bulma, however much of a tech wizard one might think she is, I figured that if she can build a radar that can track seven inanimate small round balls spread all over the world, she can easily adjust it into a radar that tracks just one cute dog in one building. (The quickness I attribute to her making Gohan’s Saiyoman watch in a jiffy.)
You guys are good. I try to keep it short, but it always ends up being long and wordy. And man, I’m not writing another shorter version!
That happens to be the book that introduced me to reading for fun. I love it to this day and make a point to read it at least once every year. I have 4 copies of it just in case I can’t find one of them when I want to read it.
Talat is indeed named after the war horse from that very book. He is and will always be my most trusted friend and companion - Tallyman would face down a dragon with me any day of the week, of that I have no doubt.
Glad to see others dig the shear awesomeness that is the Hero and the Crown. And if you thought that was a good story but haven’t checked out The Blue Sword you are in for a treat!
Mkoll and Mkvenner have monitored the building for days, determining the number of uzi wielding armored ninja guards is somewhere around thirty-four to thirty-five hundred in this high rise that looks just like Fox Plaza.
Having patched in to the phone lines running to the office building, Bluntman uses the AI in the borrowed Judge Dredd lawmaster to override the building security to set the building into “Alarm” mode. The emergency lighting kicks on, the building goes to internal power and every visual fire alarm light flashes with high intensity strobe. With a NyNex lineman’s butt-set upgraded by Bluntman clipped on the emergency-call line coming from the building, the call is intercepted and Scott Bernard pinches his nose to take the call.
Despite the cameras inside the building suddenly going dark and the alarm being raised, desk security in the building assures him there is no actual problem. Bernard informs them that it is required that the local police dispatch must send a uniformed officer to investigate personally to confirm there are no problems. Wearing a rented policeman’s uniform, Bernard drops Bluntman off behind the bushes next to the emergency generators with a large black duffel bag and then parks the loaned Lawmaster at the front door. He walks right in the main entrance.
With the fire alarm active, all the locks to the building have become unsecure. Before ninjas can move to cover all the doors, Mkoll and Mkvenner enter through a maintenance door and snake their way through flickering lights of the boiler room. Accessing the building’s HVAC systems, they attach two large man-sized airtanks to the circulation manifold in the boiler room. They don gas-hoods, open the valves on the tanks, then ghost, leaving a dozen dead ninjas in their wake.
Ven is certain the kidnapped puppy Talat is on the ninth-floor, North-East side of the building – because only an idiot would hide something important on the top floor or in the basement of a high-rise. Mkoll double taps his micro-bead communicator to signal to Bernard and Bluntman that the package has been delivered. Nitrous Oxide begins flowing into the building’s ventilation.
The Hemp Knight, by this time, has begun scaling the outside of the building using his trusty Blunt-Grapple and Blunt-Suction Cups. The foremost question in the minds of ninjas who spot him is “Why is there a fat man in an overcoat scaling the building?”
They then remember there is no way to access the outside of the building except for the roof, and leave him for the dragon. One enterprising young ninja has the idea to shoot Bluntman through the glass, then discovers that the 9mm parabellum does absolutely dick when fired at the high grade storm plexi-glass used in skyscrapers. Ninjas begin following him floor by floor, first taking bets on when he’ll fall, then cheering him on as he gets closer and closer to the roof. Closer to the dragon.
After finally being “dissuaded” by door security (and hearing the double-click on his radio), “Officer” Bernard walks back out the front door, leaving the Lawmaster running where it is, and walks off towards the park a few blocks away.
Mkvenner and Mkoll have silently dispatched the fifty or so ninjas who aren’t following Bluntman’s progress with 30 centimeters of Tanith Straight Silver as they slowly make their way to the Ninth Floor.
Heaving himself over the lip of the roof, the Hemp Knight wipes his brow and waves for the dragon to give him a second to catch his wind, indicating that it’s been a long climb. Bemused, the dragon gives him a moment. Bluntman opens his duffel bag.
Bernard dons his CVR-3 body armor and goes through the pre-flight checks on his VAF-6S Shadow Veritech, then executes a ridiculously controlled vertical take-off.
The lens filters on their gas hoods keeping the strobe effect from blinding them, Mkoll and Mkvenner arrive on the ninth floor by stairwell. They are confronted by four-score ninjas who as slightly dazed by the lights, and just a little tipsy from the laughing gas they’ve been inhaling for quite some time.
Bluntman enters the roof access door and heads toward the closest elevator bank on the top floor. The three thousand or so ninjas are so stunned to see him, they give him a standing ovation as he walks to the main elevator bank, smiling. He cranks open the door, stares goggle eyed down the elevator shaft, waves, closes his eyes, and steps off into the darkness.
The last of the ninjas on the Ninth Floor killed, Mkvenner and Mkoll seach the multitude of dog cages that fill the conference rooms and offices, searching for Talat. Finding the right cage, they free that fine friendly pooch. The elevator chimes. Mkoll takes cover and aims at the door, Mkvenner pulls his camo-cloak over Talat and himself, melting the shadows. The doors open and Bluntman steps out with a triumphant smile on his bearded face. Confused, Mkoll, Mkvenner and Talat make for the elevator, where they find a tangle of wires and ‘marital aids’ snaking out from behind the electrical panel. Bluntman shrugs.
Seeing all the other caged pooches, Bluntman sighs, shoves Mkoll and Mkvenner into the elevator and pushes the button for the top floor. As the doors close, they see several ninjas enter the floor from the stairwell.
The top floor is empty, with all the giggling ninjas having headed back downstairs. Going to the roof, Mkoll and Ven find Bernard landing on the helipad, and the dragon laid out looking at passing clouds with a doobie the size of Tommy Chong between his lips. They put the dog in Bernard’s lap, hook web-gear onto the tie-downs, and all fly away. Glancing back over their shoulders, Bernard begins a soliloquy honoring the heroism and sacrifice of the brave man who ensured their escape.
Moments later the front doors blow open as Bluntman and hundreds of dogs rush out ahead of a massive wave of angry ninjas. Deville among them screams out “Thief! Come back with my puppies!”
Bluntman stops, faces the skinny old woman with a sneer and cries out “I never broke the law… I AM THE LAW!”
And with that voice activation command given, the machine guns, stun grenades and laser on the parked Lawmaster blaze to life, charging into the thick of the ninjas while the last of Team Resistance escapes into the night.
Now that’s what I call Puff the Magic Dragon!
Considering my schedule for this week, I’m going to post an abbreviated and relatively unembellished version of my team’s solution.
NOTE: For the purposes of my team, I am presuming that Jedi have the Ancient gene. I’ll go into more detail on that when I do the team introduction post.
Rodney, Mara, and Sarah investigated the building's floor plans and see that there are three staircases inside the building, which were the only ways for ninjas from different floors to reinforce each other.
Meanwhile, Tom used his tricorder to figure out what floor Talat is on and found out he was on the 17th floor.
When Tom got back to the team's command post near the building, Rodney gave Mara an Ancient personal shield (see Hide and Seek from Atlantis Season 1). Tom used the hovercycle to take Mara up to the 17th floor, where she used the Force to break a window near one of the staircases. She jumped into the building with the personal shield active and pushed a desk across the staircase doorway to block it. She started toward the nearest staircase, using her lightsaber and blaster to fight ninjas on the way.
Tom went back down to the command post to pick up Sarah and Rodney. They took the hovercycle back up to the 17th floor and crashed through a window into a conference room near the third set of stairs. Tom used his phaser to weld the door shut, then they made their way toward the area Talat was being held in, killing the few ninjas that hadn't been distracted by Mara.
Once they rescued Talat, they got to the nearest exterior wall, blew a hole in it, and parachuted out with Talat. Once they were clear, Mara jumped back through the window and used the Force to land on the roof of the 10 story building across the street.Sheldon and Honor work on modifying the Law Master Bike with anti grav pads, incendiary, fleschette, and repulsor weapons.
Ben tracks down and infiltrates Deville’s inner circle and reports back the exact location of Talat.
BEN: “He is being held in the Executive Elevator on the 35th floor, directly under the Dragon. At any sign of trouble, the elevator is sent to the sub-basement and held in lockdown, while the elevator shaft is rigged with failsafe explosives and laser beams. The only access key card for the elevator is with Deville at all times. Each floor is guarded by 100 body armored ninjas with Uzi’s.”
Chuck uses the Intersect to flash on the building specs and security features for the planning stages.
CHUCK: “If you can get us inside, Sheldon and I can hack into the building’s mainframe and shut down the security system.”
SHELDON: “What do you mean ‘Sheldon and I can do it’? You lost me at Dragon!”
HONOR: (Ignoring Sheldon) “The best way to do this is to get in and out before they discover anything is wrong. The Dragon is going to be a problem…but with the bike I should be able to keep it busy long enough. Chuck are you sure you can shut down the elevator shaft security system before it has a chance to blow us all to hell?”
CHUCK: (Ignoring Sheldon) “Yes. I am sure of it. We’ll need to blend in with the local color to do it.”
BEN: (Ignoring Sheldon) “I can procure two Ninja suits for us; it should be easy for you and me to get in”
SHELDON: “Thank you for coming to your senses! I am not going in to that building as a Ninja!”
HONOR: “Oh you’re going in Sheldon. But not as a Ninja.”
Nimitz looks up and starts laughing.
Ben and Chuck look at each other, Chuck smiles.
CHUCK: “Wookie prisoner gag?”
BEN: “Wookie prisoner gag.”
THE NEXT EVENING – 35TH FLOOR
SHELDON: (Under his breath) “This is stupid, this is stupid, this is stupid.”
BEN: “Shut it! You’re going to blow our cover. Don’t force me to break your neck.”
Ben and Sheldon walk down the corridor of the building to the Prisoner Holding Cells on the 35th floor. Between Ben’s security clearance and Chuck’s kung fu, the ‘Wookie Prisoner Gag’ worked like a charm. Sheldon gets to work on the security codes to the elevator at the end of the hall. Ben sets the explosive charges in the stairwells to block the lower levels. Outside both of them can hear loud explosions and Dragon roaring.
SHELDON: “I hope Chuck is in position!”
BEN: “Me too.”
MEANWHILE in the 34th floor elevator shaft, Chuck has disabled the explosive charges on the brake lines, and reversed the polarity on the lasers. He starts cutting his way through the floor of the elevator when he hears the Dragon roar.
CHUCK: “Oh crap, not good. Not good!”
He climbs into the elevator and gets face licked by Talat as the roars from above and the smell of burning lasers below trap them.
Chuck: (petting the excited, wiggling dog) “Hey buddy, looks like you and me are stuck here waiting for the cavalry.” He digs into his pockets, “Wanna treat?”
TALAT: “WOOF!”
MEANWHILE on the roof, Honor is raining fire down onto the Dragon. Not enough to really hurt it, but enough to distract it from the six limbed treecat that’s currently on it’s back. She peppers the Dragon’s belly with rifle fire and whips out of the way of its spiked tail while Nimitz attaches the last harness to the Dragon’s back and cinches it tight. Honor smiles back at the victorious fur ball and climbs up to join him. She radios to the rest of her team: “Our ride is secured gentlemen.”
BACK ON THE 35TH FLOOR
BEN: “How much longer Sheldon?”
SHELDON: “You can’t rush genius, Ben. I’m almost there….almost there….alllmoooost theeere! Got it!”
[The elevator doors finally open. Chuck and Talat are free.]
CHUCK: What took so long?
SHELDON: “Look, you can’t ru-“
BEN and CHUCK: “Rush genius. Yeah, yeah, lets go.”
TALAT: ‘WOOF!’
Ben, Sheldon, Chuck and Talat take the emergency hatch to the roof and the entire team takes off on the Dragon towards the rendezvous with Sean. Ben punches a button on the remote detonator, re-engaging the explosive charges in the elevator shaft and blowing the building sky high.
Team Sideways: Driver: Wash / Tech: Macgyver / Recon: James Bond (Connery) / Martial Artist: The Operative
version 2.0 (edited for your pleasure)
“Ninjas…why’d it have to be ninjas?” Wash said while staring at the office building, his Hawaiian print shirt ruffling in the wind.
“Ninjas? I would be worried about what is waiting for us on the roof” Macgyver smirked nodding his head toward the green Dragon.
In a flat monotone the Operative asked simply, “Gentlemen, what is the plan?”
“The plan?” Bond responded after taking a long draw off his cigarette, “Isn’t it obvious?”
The group looked at him blankly.
“Ah…” he said with a slight brogue to his voice, “…then let me explain”
…
It has been a long day for Ninja 246. Being stuck in this godforsaken building with 999 other Ninjas and three bathrooms was a nightmare. The security system was airtight, but so was the environmental systems which left the temperature at a balmy 87 degrees. He was sweaty, he had to pee and he hadn’t eaten in three days. He had pulled lobby duty which meant at least for a brief moment he wasn’t rubbing shoulders with everyone else. As he leaned back in his swivel chair he was roused from his reverie by a sharp <knock knock knock> They were positioned and prepared for an all out assault, what the frak was this? Ninja 246 opened the front door to the building and was met with cooler air which rushed in deliciously. Standing in front of him was a bald gentleman holding 200 pizza boxes in a cart wearing a little chef hat and a ridiculous fake moustache.
“Did someone order 200 pizzas for 1,000 Ninjas?” the Operative said in a bad Italian accent.
“Uh, no” the Ninja said as his stomach growled slightly.
“Well these were pre-paid. If you want them they are yours.”
“I don’t know…” Ninja 246 fretted, his stomach audibly growling now.
“Fine, I will just throw them away” the Operative said shrugging and turning away.
“WAIT” 246 shouted. “You know what, if they are paid for fine. I don’t have any cash, will you take this blue shirken as tip?”
The Operative held the blue shirken in his hand and nodded approvingly to the even distribution of its weight. “Thank you”
The Ninja took the pizzas in the building and quickly relocked the door. “The bunny has taken a left turn at Albuquerque” the Operative said into his radio.
“Copy that” Macgyver responded as he hung upside down positioned over a military-grade junction box. “Ah, I see they went with the East German T-37 architecture on the locking mechanism” he said aloud to no one. Pausing a moment he walked through his mental rolodex and came up with a solution involving a paper-clip, a chocolate bar and a piece of balsa wood. He lay the chocolate bar across the upper open seam of the box which in short order melted due to the ambient heat it generated. This fried out the electricity running to the locking mechanism which he was now able to pick with his paperclip. From there it was a simple matter of using the balsa wood soaked in the sweat from his brow as a rudimentary conductor to fry the entire security system.
Meanwhile inside the building Ninjas were falling over dead having fell victim to the classic double-pepperoni and poison pizza gambit. Encamped on a nearby hillside Bond lay patiently scanning the building with a thermal imager. As the Ninja’s heat signatures dissipated by the dozen he continued scanning until at last he saw it: one lone heat signature remained on the 7th floor.
“Wash, the target is on the 7th floor, northwest corner, you are a go.”
“Roger” Wash replied and paused, “Roger, that, is there any MORE I can do for you?”
“What?” Bond replied
“Nevermind” Wash chuckled to himself. He click the ignition and with a giant wooosh whipped into view riding the Judge Dread hoverbike screaming, “I AM THE LAW!” As he rapidly approached the building Macgyver gasped, “The dragon! We forgot about the Dragon! Abort Wash! Abort! Abort!”
“No worries my friend.” Wash responded coolly. “From my teenage years of playing Dungeons and Dragons I know a specific weakness which will also help us retrieve Talat. Green Dragons are highly susceptible to Caribbean music. They can’t resist it.”
“Wait, what?” the Operative yelled, “This is madness! No Wash, abort!”
But it was too late. As Wash flew towards the building he pulled the PA up off the police hover bike and calmly began singing:
“Day-o!” he paused for effect. “Day-ay-ay-o! Daylight comin’ and me wanna go!”
All was quiet. Team Sideways watched breathlessly. Somewhere a cat meowed. The Dragon peered down at the man on the hoverbike going 70 miles per hour singing calypso music curiously. The dragon shifted his weight from one foot to another and leaned over the edge ready to pounce.
“Wash, it isn’t working” Bond yelled into his mouthpiece. “ABORT MAN! ABORT!”
Wash tore off his headset ignoring the pleas of his teammates and flew up to face off to the dragon. Hovering inches away from the dragon’s snout he looked at him eye-to-eye and sang into his PA, “Work all night and I drink my rum!”
Nothing. The dragon’s hot breath flowed over Wash in short bursts. Wash kept his eyes locked and inhaling he sang with a slight quiver in his voice, “Stack banana till the morning come!”
Bond watched in disbelief through his binoculars as the dragon continued to shift his weight from his left to his right foot. He realized that the dragon wasn’t about to pounce, he was about to…
“Come Mr. Tallyman, Tally me banana” Wash sang and the dragon roared with delight throwing his head back and clapping his little claws together.
From inside the building a bark was heard as Talat heard his nickname ‘Tallyman’ from outside. Knowing this was his chance Talat ran down the stairs and out of the building where he encountered the Team plus a Green Dragon dancing in a circle with maracas singing,
“Its a six foot seven foot eight foot bunch!”
Wash winked as Talat jumped in the hover bike side car. Wash put on a vintage WWII helmet and gave his bomber glasses to Talat while he sang rather poignantly to the pup:
“Tallyman come and we gonna go home.”
…and with that blazed off to return him home Tallyman howling with delight as his ears flapped in the wind. As always Wash made himself laugh. “I need to count my blessings I suppose” he thought to himself, “at least it was only one dog, not one hundred and one dogs.”
After receiving the mission briefing from the Ocelot Unit intel commander, a plan is devised and put into motion in order to rescue the preside–I mean, Talat.
The plan: Lando will use the hoverbike to distract the dragon on the roof, luring it away from a defencive position using a flashbang grenade launcher developed by Geordi and attached to the hoverbike to blind, as well as temporarily deafen and eliminate the beast’s sense of smell, allowing Deadpool an opportunity to sneak in through the top of the building (Deadpool and Lando both wearing specialized visors with hearing attachments to avoid any ill effects on themselves). After some fancy flying, (recall his little manoeuvrer at the Battle of Taanab) he will essentially land on top of the building from the bike, and enter the building by any means necessary. Since the dragon will be blinded by this point, and be alerted to our presence, silence in regards to entering will not be an issue, although a stealthy approach is still recommended. Afterwards, Lando will high-tail it out of there and wait by a nearby building outside of the area of attention of the dragon, acting now as an emergency get-away driver. By the time the dragon regains his sight, Deadpool will be on the upper level and Lando will be within a safe enough distance to act if he needs to.
In order to increase our chances, Solid Snake will infiltrate the building from the bottom. Using his stealth camo suit, he is to find a way into the building via the lower levels…he’s a professional, he’s done this before, he will find a way, one way or another. Needless to say, the emphasis is placed on Snake, much moreso than Deadpool, to avoid detection at all costs. Once he finds a way to infiltrate the building, he will stay in touch via the Codec with Geordi, who will monitor the situation for both Deadpool and Snake using the Soliton radar, both of whom will be equipped with it. Lando, too, will be in touch via Codec.
Deadpool and Snake’s objectives will be to locate and retrieve Talat from the clutches of the enemy, and if detected, eliminate any terrorist threat. The first objective will fall upon Snake to disable the lower level security systems, only then will Deadpool have access to the upper level security consoles and a chance to sabotage them, since the upper level security systems are monitored by the lower ones. With Snake sneaking through the lower end of the building in a traditional manner (namely, ventilation systems, hiding in plain sight without being seen, and cardboard boxes), and Deadpool working his ninja magic, the security systems shouldn’t be an issue at all. Deadpool will then proceed to meet Snake in the middle of the building, where Talat is thought to be held. (Which only makes sense: the top security systems in the world, both upper and lower levels secured to the teeth, and 100 ninjas on every floor, the middle of the building becomes the safest place to keep the hostage)
That is when things become tricky: the dog is held behind a wall of laser traps and guarded by two elite Kabuki Shadow Warriors. Geordi can’t dispatch the two of them…the room interferes with Codec and Soliton frequency transmissions. With the plan hitting a snag and no intel to back them up, the two combine their respective strengths to pass this obstacle: the smoke from the cigarettes allows the laser traps to be bypassed without too much trouble. Once at the door to the secure vault, Deadpool finds a vent to drop down in and surprise the Shadow Warriors, while Snake enters through the main door (this vent may or may not be convienently placed at the end of the laser trap hallway). The Shadow Warriors, through caught flat footed, still manage to put up a good fight, but are eventually defeated, since Deadpool and Snake are both good guys.
Deadpool exits via the vents again, searching for a way to disable the laser traps allowing Snake and Talat to escape. Since Talat is being protected by Snake, Deadpool creates a ruckus, killing any and all ninjas he comes across, much to Geordi’s ire. Lando circles the building in case something goes terribly wrong, and Snake protects Talat from any ninjas who may or may not attack the confined room. After the laser traps are down, Snake blasts his way through legions of body armoured ninjas with Talat following close behind, Deadpool working his way to the window. Lando meets them there. Snake leaps onto the hoverbike with Talat, speeding off into the night while Deadpool leaps out of the building, sliding down with his swords slowing his fall in an uber-cool comic book style action sequence. He lands and enters the sewers, making his way back to the Ocelot Unit HQ, mission accomplished.
I love it when a plan comes together.
I did try to edit my original version, but it was too long
Short Version
Upon surveying the building before them, they assess the tools at their disposal. Forge and Reed Richards quickly beef up the bike and also modify it so that they can take the weapons with them.
Reed pingpongs Forge and Xander to the roof where the dragon is trying to be the BIG DRAGON about town, showing off to its mates and roasting flying pigeons.
Once they reach the roof, Forge starts to chant some Chakotay like vision quest mumbo jumbo and tries to control the dragon while Xander is riding around playing nice with the dragon shooting its legs.
Once the dragon is slowed down (just a little bit), Xander prescribes two grenades and tells the dragon to call him in the morning, however the dragon has other ideas and tries to burp it back up but ends up igniting them causing him to blow up into little pieces (which actually taste quite nice in a stew).
After switching off the security systems, which is a breeze for a tech wizard like Forge, they all enter the building. In the mean time, Riddick and Reed Richards have catapulted into a mid level floor and are surrounded by Ninjas.
The view changes to a four way split showing each of the different characters with a score in the corner of each quadrant - As they dispatch those pesky ninjas, the scores of the invididuals begin to tally up (complete with multipliers and bonuses). Once it’s over, Riddick is the winner (due to the building being in total darkness and his badass fighting skills)as his quadrant shows a rotating gold 1st. Xander is last as he hangs his head in shame, his quadrant has a rotating ‘Loser’.
Like the cast of The Wizard of Oz on the yellow brick road, they make their way to the floor with Talat on it.
They all work together to unlock the high tech door (Various methods include match the symbols and splinter cell stick action to pick the lock as well as the simple ‘Open Please’).
Once Talat is free, they kick the window in (Vandals Shakes head) and they return to street level via clever means and return the dog.
The End…
Just for clarification, I’ve never seen Judge Dredd so I’m not sure about the capabilities of the “hover cycle”. I was only able to find info about the Lawmaster cycles. Is there a difference? Is the Lawmaster the same as the hover cycle? Cuz the Lawmaster don’t hover, from what I can gather.
I’m keeping it real man - I’m going with the LawMaster, so a bike that has lasers, guns, AI and turbo boost and the grenades.
LawMaster, it is. Thankee.
I need clarification on one thing. Which floor is Talat on. Is he in the middle. Locked in the basement. On the top floor. Hidden in a vault somewhere.
awesome… that sounds just like Sheldon
I would think, use artistic license. In other words, it’s your call.
Anybody got a link to a pic or info about the LawMaster?
I too am deficient in my Judge Dred knowledge.
Think Pontiac-ified Honda Goldwing that can fly and has guns. That’s the short version. For everything else, there’s Google. 
Team PETE (Persons Engineered for Tactical Espionage)
Operation: Retreiver
Operation Retre4iver is three pronged affair. The first stage involves David Levinson employing his superior communication skills to hack into the telecommunication lines for the target building to identify the strength and disposition of forces, and most importantly of all where Tallat, hence forth known as “Hostage-0” is being held on the 25th floor.
At this point the retrieval team will be dispatched upon the hover capable Lawmaster. The retrieval team will be a two man affair, with Snake Plissken as pilot and Jimmy Tong in the TUX-1 (Tactical Unit eXperiment – 1) tuxedo as point man for the operation.
As the Lawmaster nears the target building, Jack (DAMMIT!) Bauer – as Operations commander – will scramble a pair of Lockheed Martin F35 Lightnings in stealth mode through CTU (again through Levinson’s excellent communications skills). The F35’s attack run will surgically strike (as surgical as you can be with a barrage of AIM120 AMRAAM missiles. The combination of high explosive warheads and flammable breath weapon leads to a volatile combination. So volatile that the roof is blasted off, and a drop in Dragon population.
During the distraction of the upper floors renovation, Jimmy Tong bravely leaps from the Lawmaster to rescue Hostage-0. Unfortunately, since Jimmy is still learning how to control the Tuxedo, he lands through a shower of glass onto 24th floor and not the 25th. The gathered Ninjas are not amused. Immediately, Jimmy activates the “Demolition” mode of the Tuxedo, and starts whupping Ninja Ass with a perpetually baffled expression.
As word spreads of Jimmy’s entrance in the target building, more Ninjas are called. Unfortunately for Jimmy, a wild swing suddenly finds the Tuxedo’s mode switching from “Demolition” to “Dance” mode. For a second, all is still, then from built-in speakers of the Tuxedo, the opening bars of Carl Douglas’ “Kung Fu Fighting” emanate. Unable to resist the combined power of of Carl Douglas’s voice and Jimmy Tong’s dance-moves, the Ninja’s begin dancing in unison. Realising he now has thousands of Ninjas under his control, Jimmy Tong leads them down the stairs away from their hostage.
Meanwhile, Plissken is not impressed. His point man has managed to miss the right floor, and he is dodging debris from the renovated roof. So Plissken drives the Lawmaster through the 25th floors windows (the right one this time) and leaps off the hover bike to find himself facing a hundred Ninjas who remained committed to the cause of guarding of their hostage.
The hundred Ninjas look at Plissken, and Plissken glares back. As one, the Ninjas adopt the snake stance and prepare to attack. “Call me Snake” growls Plisskens as his coat swirls and he lets rip with his machine gun on automatic fire.
Striding over the incapacitated Ninja’s, Snake recovers Hostage-0, and retreats to the Lawmaster and flies out of the building. Meanwhile Jimmy Tong concludes the line of dancing Ninjas by jumping out of the 20th floor window and landing on the seat of the Lawmaster. Whereupon Jimmy and Plissken reunite with Jack and David to successfully complete their first operation.
Talat, the first dog has been dog-napped from President Sean O’Hara. Criminal mastermind Deville has taken the scared pup to an abandoned building in the center of the city. Deville’s demands are simple and devastating. She requires all of the world’s Dr Pepper in exchange for Talat’s life. The President is conflicted with these demands, so he has called upon Team Dyno-Mite to save the world from bland soda and to rescue Talat.
Having arrived on the scene, T’pol takes tricorder reading to find where Talat is being kept by Deville. Her finding reveals that there are thousands of ninjas throughout the building. There also appears to be a full grown green dragon on the roof as a final protection of Deville.
“That seems a little much for the kidnapping of a dog”, comments Ironhide.
“We love animals! Especially cute little doggies”, says Kaylee gleefully.
“I have an idea, we will need to build a ramp. Kaylee would you assist me” explains T’pol.
Upon completion of the ramp, Tpol’s plans comes into focus. “Now here is what we need from you Han. Take that Lawmaster Cycle and fly up and distract that dragon. Try to get him as far away as possible.”
“Now Kaylee and myself will ride in Ironhide as he takes the ramp at 88 MPH to land on the top of the building by me calculations.” explained T’pol.
Han mounts the Cycle, the tires flatten slightly. With all the LawMaster’s thrust, it does liftoff. He flies towards the dragon and moons the stunned beast. Upon seeing such a sight and still not being completely blinded, the dragon takes after Han like a bullet. He boosts the cycle to keep ahead of this awesome creature.
The team decides to make sure the dragon is hot on Han’s tail, so they check in with him.
“Han Solo, please come in?” T’pol relays over the communicator.
“Who are you looking for?” they hear from the communicator.
“Han!”
“Who?”
“Oh goodness, I can’t believe I have to say this,” T’pol said while shaking her head.
“Carlos Spicy Weiner, do you copy?”
“This is Carlos Spicy Weiner, how can I help you.”
“What is you status?”
“Well, right now I am kinda seeing this girl, she is a princess…”
“I mean is the dragon still following you so that we can complete this mission.” interrupted T’pol.
“Oh, well yes it is still back there, but it keeps lighting my farts.” Han stated gleefully.
With the dragon far from the building, T’pol and Kaylee get ready inside of Ironhide’s cab. Ironhide races towards the ramp at an incredible speed. Ironhide speed as he connects with the ramp reaches 88 MPH and he is catapulted up the ramp just as T’pol calculated. Ninjas inside the building watch in amazement as a large truck sails up the side of the building. They all rush towards the elevators to get to the roof so that they can actually fight.
Landing with a great thud, Ironhide touches down on the building’s roof. Deville looking rather surprised, runs to protect her bargaining chip. T’pol, with a window down, fires a stunning shot that knocks Deville backwards. To stop any ninjas from getting to the rooftop, Ironhide transforms and destroys the elevator supports and listens as the elevator cars slam into the ground floor. Kaylee whistles to Talat to come. He happily jumps into her arms.
“So, what about this dragon?” asks Ironhide.
“Well, we are going to need to siphon off a little gas out of you tank to make this work.” explained T’pol.
“Okay,” Ironhide said as he tranformed back into vehicle mode.
“Han… I mean Carlos Spicy Weiner, head back here so that we can get that dragon off you back.”
“Carlos Spicy Weiner returning to your position.” Han called out loudly.
“Okay, Kaylee and Talat, back into Ironhide. Kaylee you hold on to him till we are back on the ground.”
“Oh he is so cute, why would I want to get him go,” Kaylee proudly exclaimed.
Off in the distance, the wings of a giant beast are seen in the light of the sunset approaching the building at great speed. Han has been pushing the Lawmaster to the point where it is billowing smoke from its exhaust. With little chance of keeping ahead of the dragon, he swoops in towards the rooftop. Ironhide with his passengers secure, drives towards the edge of the building with great speed. With a last burst of speed, Ironhide sails off the rooftop, free falling towards the ground.
As Ironhide launches off the building, Deville wakes from her stunned state. She races towards the edge of the building to see if they will crash. Peering over the edge she sees and giant parachute open and the truck landing softly on the ground. I complete disgust, she turns her back on the escaping horde. With a sudden gust of air that smells so foul, Deville see a mooning Han Solo flying past. And with little warning, a giant fireball erupts and engulfs her and her fire-breathing pet green dragon. The blast destroys the top floors of the building.
“President O’Hara, I present you Talat, first dog of these United States. Please watch him more closely next time.”