FTW! 
hahahahahahaha. “Hmmm…I have Saruman on my team…Saruman’s orcs are attacking Helm’s Deep…‘ATTENTION ORCS! TURN AROUND!’” Done.
Yeah, but that wouldn’t be very good for teamwork. 
whah~~~ the entire army obeying isn’t team work enough?
i think you should have Vader kill Saruman in your plan
I gotta agree with Chuck here, also, points for picking a robot that can refuel just about anywhere and anytime.
I voted Chuck also, but Audra was thinking outside the box.
Actually she was thinking the opposite. IYKWIM. :eek:
I am so ashamed right now.
Since Conan killed off two members of Sean’s Team in the previous scenario, shouldn’t’ he have two NEW members in his team for this scenario?
Interesting point. It was implied that whatever happens one week you are left with your original team for the next round. Good thot for the next iteration!
Time travel trumps all.
Audra, when in earlier eras, when in doubt, impart the lessons to Data and bury his head, like in that TNG Mark Twain episode. When it’s discovered in the future, they can hook it back up and try something different.
The plan for my team (T-1000, Mr. Scott, Batman, Kosh)
Even without being able to re-meld his arms to swords, the T-1000 is still an effective fighting machine. He is placed on the largest catapult available, and flung as far back into the army as possible to start causing . . . problems for the orcs, etc.
Mr. Scott, using his advanced knowledge of engineering helps refit all of the available catapults and siege engines for maximum range, speed and accuracy.
Batman organizes the fighters, and gives them as much of a quick lesson in some form of martial arts that he can given the short time.
Knowing that exposing himself to such a mass army all at once could be fatal, Kosh instead takes control of the strongest orc he can find any given time, and turns that orc against his companions. Given the problems with orc/uruk-hai discipline to begin with, this ends up being the most effective method for cutting down the invading army.
I will - thanks! 
I just have to say here, I think my idea is AWESOME and the coolest and funniest and most original and entertaining all around, plus it would work. C’mon, guys!! Vote for the Face Ride!
Face Ride FTW!!!
You know of all the Sci-Fi female characters I’ve seen in movies over the years I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to be like or envied Sy Snootles…until now.
Rewatching Return of the Jedi will never be the same now.
Team Omra-
While helping the new host of the Karas armor clear away the fallen meteor near the city of Shinjuku the team is torn from their reality and thrust into an alternate universe by a ‘Solai Anomoly’. The team find themselves in Middle Earth and scouts for the retreating population of Rohan stumble upon them. After talking with King Theoden Austin James offers to use Gomtuu as a means to transport the old and the wounded to Helms Deep. While listening to the refugees tell their tales of horror and the damage being done to their land by Sauraman and his army Austin feels compelled to help the Humans fight the evil Uruk-hai. But Gomtuu is not so easily swayed, she feels that there must be more to the story and that they are only hearing half of the story, she refuses to be used as a weapon against an unknown quantity.
Briareos is practically an invalid in this new land, advanced technology does not seem to work here, and since Gomtuu is a biological ship she seems unaffected. But Briareos must stay inside the ship, whenever he exits the ship his limbs begin to seize up and his energy packs begin to drain.
Austin James plays the role of Royal Alchemist and begins mixing up gunpowder and incendiary devices for the archers and catapult men to use, Briareos flies Gomtuu out to the quarry where Helm’s Deep’s stones were originally cut and begins cutting and transporting slabs of stone to the Fortress to help repair the aging structure. Karas takes poisons concocted by Austin James and flies them out to where bodies of the Rohirran were left behind and injects these poisons into the bodies, so that when the Orcs consume the bodies they will be killed.
When the massive army of Uruk-hai arrive late in the evening, Austin boards Gomtuu and they fly up to act as observers for King Theoden and relay troop movements to him via telepathy. Austin convinces Gomtuu to illuminate the battlefield, the bright light blinds the Orcs and makes it easier for the archers to pick them off, and for the catapult gunners to aim the explosive charges into large groupings of Orcs. Karas who is powered by magic is in his element and single handedly defends the main gate against wave after wave of armored Orcs. Austin tries again to convince Gomtuu to help defend the Humans but she insists that she will not be used as an instrument of destruction, and that Austin is being too naïve. And that, “No issue is ever as ‘black and white’ as it is portrayed.” And that, “I trust you Austin, it is them, that I do not trust. You I know, I do not know them, please do not ask again. Respect my wishes.”
Briareos is frustrated watching the battle while being utterly helpless to do anything, he watches Austin relay information to Theoden and an idea comes to him. He asks Austin, “If Gomtuu is telepathic, could she access the enemies minds?” Gomtuu says yes, but it would be a violation of her protocols to do so. Briareos insists that if she wants the enemy’s side of the story that by doing so she would get the unadulterated truth, uncolored by the Humans interpretation. Austin agrees with Briareos, and tells Gomtuu that if she wishes to know the truth of this conflict that she must read the leaders minds. Gomtuu concedes that it is logical and accesses Theoden’s mind and sees that he is simply defending his people against encroaching forces that wish his people ill. When she accesses the Uruk-hai leader’s mind she screams, everyone for miles clutches their heads in pain as she phisically recoils in revulsion at what she sees, and psychically screams in horror when the imagess of such utterly vile and abhorrent acts of violence, and depraved torture and decadence assualt her senses. They revel in it, and their minds are utterly corrupted and lack any sense of humanity at all. She reacts instinctively like a small child seeing a spider and explodes the minds of the Uruk-hai before she even realizes she has done so. Once the reality of her act seeps in, she weeps. Austin and Briareos try and comfort her, in time she will forgive herself and accept the fact that they truly were evil and beyond any redemption, and that their deaths were necessary. But it will take time, and she will never be the same after this day.
Edit: And though Solai did not request a soundtrack I offer up for your listening pleasure…
Final Fantasy VIII- Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec (Original Soundtrack) track 3- Don’t be Afraid (Full Orchestral)
You know, I should have known better… it just didn’t occur to me that a well thought out, teamwork oriented, out plan would get buried by face-riding.
Dr. Jonas Venture Jr. was unprepared for that particular variable.
I shall have to start work on plan “C”
LMsbO! I hear you. Not to nitpick, but lemme quote what I said in the podcast thread.
And, wrt Bender being a god, how in the hell did you guys let Audra pick Sam Carter?! Granted she needs equipment, but she can create novas, reverse time, has naqahdah in her blood stream (dunno why she doesn’t use more Goa’uld based weapons), etc. Even Data doesn’t know how to reverse time. Sling shot effect went the way of the Dodo in TNG. d:
I so want to make my own team, but I think all of the people I would pick are taken.
Don’t be hard on yourself, you already have more votes then Audra had all last week and there is a day left. The nice thing about this voting system is it really doesn’t matter what the other teams do. It matters what your team does and how they do it. Face Riding off into the sunset away from a raging horde of orcs, while entertaining is not a sound military strategy. One also can’t run from orcs even with a elf wall. Orcs are faster and they will catch you eventually. Well thought out is the key. If the overall plan doesn’t work then an originality or teamwork vote is much harder to secure. You did very well this week, now just sprinkle in a few more fart jokes, Liara fighting in a bathing suit and a solid victory dance. It will be a clean sweep!
Vote Team Sean!!!
Alrighty, my turn. cracks Solai’s knuckles
[b]Starring Team 'talos:
Robot: R. Daneel Olivaw
Scientist: Spock
Warrior: James T. Kirk
Alien: Leeloo[/b]
“Spock, where are we?” questioned James T. Kirk surveying the stone walls and mountain face. Night was approaching. Several armor-clad soldiers rushed into positions along the clefts in the wall, oblivious of four strangers appearing out of thin air. The Solai anomaly (thanx Omra) placed Team 'talos in the midst of the battle for Helm’s Deep.
Spock raised his right eyebrow. “I am unsure, Captain. It appears to be a very well fortified fortress.”
Aragorn approached, “What manner of mischief is this? You cannot fight in garb of this sort? To the armory with you lot!” He eyed them suspiciously, especially the woman and her bright orange hair. “You should be within the walls of the Hornburg.” As Aragorn stepped toward her, in one quick motion Leeloo removed his sword from its sheath and grinned wide.
Leeloo spoke, “Everything you create, you use to destroy. Me fifth element. Me protect you.” She playfully swung the sword through the air, thrusting and parrying. Legolas’ keen eyes spotted the commotion and quickly ran to Aragorn’s aid. Gimli lumbered behind, preparing his axe.
Daneel Olivaw stepped forward, “Friends. We come from the land beyond the Ered Luin.”
Legolas squinted, “The Grey Havens?”
Olivaw continued, “Yes. That’s why we look and act in a strange manner.” Daneel probed each mind. Aragorn first, slightly adjusting his suspicion to trust. “We are here to help you defend this place.” Legolas next, increasing his wonder and awe for folk from the land beyond. “It is obvious. You need our assistance.” Now Gimli, who was filled with confusion. The robot used his ability to read and influence minds to soothe that confusion. The three MIddle-Earthers simply stared at the strangers. Olivaw suggested, “If you would be so kind as to bring us before King Theoden. There is much we must accomplish in little time.”
As they turned, Olivaw removed the sword from Leeloo’s grasp and returned it to Aragorn. Leeloo frowned. Daneel grabbed her arm and moved in close to Kirk and Spock. He explained, “My friends we are in Middle-Earth.”
Recognition filled Kirk and Spock’s face, they both exclaimed, “Helm’s Deep!”
“Exac-T-ly!” Daneel smiled at them until he saw Leeloo’s furrowed brow. He shook his head and continued, “We are about to be attacked by a mix of Orcs and Uruk-hai numbering in the thousands.” He looked at the Captain, “We need a plan.”
They entered the hall and approached King Theoden. “Lo! What a queer band!” His laughter echoed through the great open area. “You pick a fine time to play jokes, Aragorn.”
Aragorn began to speak but was interrupted by Daneel, “Pardon the intrusion, my Lord.” Once again, Daneel used his talent to sway the king to their cause. “We are travelers from a distant land and wish to help you defend your keep.” Daneel felt Theoden’s amusement moving toward annoyance and stopped the feeling, replacing it with curiosity and acceptance. “Saruman has long spied out this land. He has a plan to breach the wall.”
Gamling scoffed, “No enemy has ever breached the Deeping wall!”
This time it was Kirk who responded, “You underestimate the Devilry of Saruman. He will breach the wall through the culvert using a destructive fire.”
Aragorn spoke, “Then, we will place our best archers to defend the culvert.”
Kirk smiled, “You don’t understand. We want them to open the Deep.” The faces surrounding him filled with disbelief. “We will conserve our arrows on the open area outside the Deep. We will allow the hoards of Isengard to enter through the narrow passage they will viciously create. They will be an easy target at such close range and in an enclosed area. We will have the element of surprise instead of the other way around.” Kirk winked at Daneel and the robot helped persuade the Middle-Earthers. “Daneel, here, will stand on the wall of the Deep and make sure no Orc device will allow them to pass over the wall.”
Legolas was the first to ask, “How?”
“You’ll see.” The Three laws of Robotics dictated that Daneel would do everything in his power to make sure no harm came to the humans in the Deep. Kirk moved closer to Legolas, “Friend Elf, you and your dwarf comrade will defend Helm’s Gate with the help of Leeloo.” The walls were decorated with armaments. Leeloo eyed them. She took the opportunity to dismiss their doubts in her abilities by leaping ten feet into the air and removing one of the broadswords from the assembly. She flipped and landed with an effective thump which echoed through the hall. She stared at them and growled. Kirk cleared his throat, “Aragorn and I will defend the Deep from the onslaught of Orcs.”
Aragorn interrupted, “Legolas and his bow would be a better tool. I should defend the Gate.”
Kirk replied, “Why use one Legolas when you can have 20 or more.”
Legolas and Aragorn questioned, “What do you mean?”
“Mr. Spock has the power to transfer Legolas’ prowess with the bow to several archers.” Silence filled the room. “We will demonstrate. Spock, if you would be so kind.”
Spock approached Legolas who took a defensive posture. Daneel abated his defenses. Spock touched Legolas’ face, “Your mind to my mind. Your thots to my thots.” When complete Spock turned to the group, “I will need a volunteer.”
After a moment Aragorn stepped forward, “I would not ask anyone to engage in a venture I am not willing to pursue.”
Spock tilted his head and as he leaned toward Aragorn. He whispered to the Ranger, “You will make a fine king one day.” Spock performed the transfer and handed Aragorn a bow and quiver.
Aragorn grabbed three arrows and stretched the bow. When he released, the arrows sprung to life and hit the three chandeliers hanging above the hall. Theoden shouted, “What magic is this?”
Spock placed his hands behind his back, “No magic at all, Theoden, King. I simply adjusted and enhanced Aragorn’s hand-eye coordination.” Spock began to explain the procedure and the parts of the brain affected but Kirk gave him the kill sign, waving his hand under his neck. “I will need volunteers from the ranks.”
Kirk took over, “Once Mr. Spock is done. The archers will be placed on the left and right of the Deep creating crossfire where no Orc can emerge. Daneel and the Elves will defend the Wall from above.”
Theoden broke in, “What shall I do?”
Kirk replied, “I’m glad you asked. I need you to create booby-traps in the hall. Pendulum blades swinging from the ceiling, crossbows on either side of the room…”
Theoden queried, “Booby what?”
Kirk continued, “It doesn’t matter what they’re called, just implement…forget it. Do you have any artisans and blacksmiths?”
Gamling answered, “Yes. They are in the stables furnishing weapons and preparing the horses.”
Kirk said, “Great. I’ll explain it to them. We may not even need them if Leeloo is as effective as I think she will be.” He turned back to Theoden, “My King, you will defend your keep here.”
Theoden grinned, "“If they come to bargain for our goods at Helm’s Gate, they will pay a high price.”
Kirk nodded, “Then when dawn approaches you will take your Rohirrim and ride out and greet the Orcs. From the East, you can expect Gandalf.”
Aragorn pouted, “Awww, that was supposed to be a surprise.”
Spock said, “Yes Captian. You are once again wreaking havoc with the time continuum.”
“Spock, we have the Kingdom of Rohan and all of Middle-Earth at stake.” In the distance horns were blown and drums pounded. “You hear that? We don’t have time to quibble about timelines.”
Spock retorted, “It is a pity Dr. McCoy is not here to embellish a comment about my ears.”
Kirk looked at Legolas, “It would appear you are not alone in the pointed-ear department.” Kirk looked around, “Well, let’s go people. We’ve got Armageddon knocking on our door. Let’s go greet them.”
The battle began. The Orcs fired their arrows and siege weapons upon the Deep but were unable to penetrate the walls. Indeed the Deep was well-protected. As the Orcs approached the wall, they fired their grappling hooks and tried to raise their ladders. Daneel was there to greet them. With his super human robot strength and speed, he broke the ladders from their support mechanism and threw them down upon the Orcs below.
Leeloo, Gimli, and Legolas defended Helm’s Gate. They worked as a whirlwind of fury dispatching many Orcs from the shelf and into the Dike. Each member counted each kill. No one escaped their wrath.
When the time came for the Uruk-hai to release Saruman’s devious plan, Aragorn and Kirk were waiting for them. The wall exploded in a plume of stone and smoke. The Uruk-hai advanced but found their way hindered by a barrage of arrows. Several fell in the opening volleys creating a mound of bodies which slowed the Orc movements. The Uruk-hai were trapped.
Dawn emerged and the Horn of the Mark sounded. Theoden, Aragorn, and Team 'talos mounted horses and rode out to greet Gandalf finishing off the last remnants of the hoards of Isengard. Gandalf stood covered in light, smiling at their accomplishment. “It would appear Thoeden does not stand alone. Who are our new allies?”
Theoden answered, “They are fellows from the Grey Havens.”
Gandalf peered, “Really?”
Theoden continued, “The one dressed in gold devised a plan which vanquished our enemy. The green-tinged elf has the gift of touch. The female is a wild…”
Kirk interrupted, “Thank you, King. We were very happy to help. If I could make a suggestion.”
Theoden replied, “Please do, master tactician.”
Jim leaned on his saddle, “We could end this right now. You wouldn’t happen to have some giant eagles flying around, would you?”
Haha, loved that! Good work.
I was going to quote and say the same thing. I was waiting for the ear remark with baited breath. d:
Omra, nice storytelling with Gomtuu.