Probably because of Conan’s interpretation of the “Gets the guy or girl” part. That’s why I gave him Originality at least.
Team EVIL Solution
Team reminder:
Robot: Lore
Scientist: Saruman
Warrior: Darth Vader
Alien: Ba’al
Song: Sympathy for the Devil by the Rolling Stones
Well, first off, the reason the meteor is headed toward the planet is because Vader ordered his Star Destroyer to redirect it.
Ba’al gives Vader and Lore an Al’kesh and Lore improves the hyperdrive generator to create a bigger hyperdrive window.
Meanwhile, Ba’al and Saruman go down to the planet and tell world leaders they’ll save the planet in exchange for being given control over it. When the first set of world leaders disagree, Saruman fireballs them. The next set agree and Ba’al asks them to throw in Tricia Helfer.
Vader pilots the Al’kesh to the meteor and lands on it. At the exact right moment as calculated by his positronic brain, Lore jumps the meteor into hyperspace and right through the planet.
The planet is saved (but enslaved), every member of the team survives, and Ba’al gets Tricia Helfer. 
i love the way you think, sir.
Not an original solution technically, so no points there, but the team you put together gets some serious points. I mean, a group of super villains saving the world only to enslave it? 
Awesome. Actually now that I think about it, I would actually buy that on DVD if someone filmed it.
Side note: Say what you want about Ba’al, you cant deny he has great taste.
I was thinking of having Lore wait until he could see Jack O’Neill’s house, but I thought that’d be overdoing it a bit.
How about the bit with them manufacturing the situation in the first place?
…and now that song will be in my head…thank you!
tho…that will make the workday interesting - “You have those TPS Reports?” Dun dundun DUN DUN, DUN dee dee DUN DUN!
Did I mention T’Pring was FINE AS HELL! Not the greatest Vulcan in the world…but WOW
Nice work 
That bit was great, but I dont see Vader coming up with it. Vader doesnt like subterfuge, he prefers to handle things head on in a very personal way. Ba’al on the other hand is not only devious but cowardly as are all the Goauld. Jack fishing then suddenly noticing a meteor about to hit his house would have been great, especially if Ba’al took some time to project his image and do a little (or a lot) of gloating.
I’m a sucker for the underdog, so I voted for Chuck. Hope I didn’t screw up the votes! (Go Audra!)
Oooh, my solution is terrible as a team effort!
Team Old School Solution
Robot: Doraemon
Scientist: Senbei Norimaki (Dr. Slump)
Warrior: Faye Valentine
Alien: Kurama
Song: Mr. Roboto
Doraemon puts his propeller gadget on and flies into the atmosphere. He takes out his shrink torch(flashlight) and shrinks the meteor into something so small it can’t hurt anyone. Following the meteor (now a teeny tiny rock) til it lands, he picks it up and throws through the anywhere door (to a destination that’s not the planet) before it reverts back to its size. Planet saved by one robot cat.
Meanwhile, down on the ground, Senbei Norimaki freaks out, but upon seeing smokin’ hot Valentine, turns into his handsome self (for about 3 minutes) and gets the girl, while Kurama with his androgynous good looks hides in a tree to avoid his male and female admirers. Norimaki turns back into his old self after said 3 mintues, and Valentine opts to chase after Kurama instead, which she does. Doraemon then returns and Norimaki makes ramen noodles for everyone for a job well done. The sun sets.
Me as well. Half the team survived, so it sounds good to me.
Yeah, and having the meteoroid being constructed out of Naquadrah (sp??) wouldn’t have helped your originality either.
Do we already know how many rounds this game will have?
“Master Chief flies through space and demolishes the meteor.”
Win.
Sorry, but since I haven’t played Halo, I can’t see and understand the “he masterchiefs it” argument. So no points for Chuck. I know he can do better in the next round.
So I started typing out a solution and I got a bit carried away. I was having fun so I just carried on a bit. It is turning out to be kind of a team introduction. I am not known for my writing skills but after all the other great stuff others have done I thought I would have a go. When did I start typing with an English accent? 
One day as Team Daisuke is suiting up for there weekly paintball match a call came in to Dr. Sam Beckett (on the top secret transponder he implanted in his arm). It was the government calling to say that they have detected an Meteor approaching the Earth and they need their best team on hand to solve this problem.
As Team Daisuke arrives at Area 51 they are meet by a frantic group of scientists reporting that, “the ship is ready but they don’t have a nuke that can break the meteor into small enough pieces to avoid Earth completely”. As they get suited up Pein calms the scientists and tells them, “we have a few plans in place but will have to decide on which to use when they get there”. While they are boarding the ship, Sam explains to the rest of the team that, “this ship is a “Black Level” top secret project and it was reverse engineered from the many alien ships recovered over the years”. “Neytiri and I have been working on this for years”, said Sam. “Neytiri?” said Pein with surprise and glancing at her, “you don’t exactly strike me as a tech genius”. “I’m not, but I am an excellent pilot” Neytiri exclaimed as they entered the bridge, “Allow me show you”. Neytiri took her place in the pilots seat with pride and as she did they all noticed a long cable extending out to the console with organic tendrils hanging out the end. She gently placed the cable at the end of her Queue and the neural fibers at each end began to interweave as one. Immediately they could feel the ship powering up and the strange hum of the interstellar engine core. With a smile on her face Neytiri turned in her seat and began her preflight sequence. “Perhaps I should explain”, said Sam. “It appears that most races capable of frequent interstellar space flight are telepathic and the systems they use are designed to interface in that fashion”. “There are no humans advanced enough to interface but Neytiri’s unique physiology allowed us to create a physical connection that provides a similar level of intimacy with the functionality of this ship”. “It takes at least four humans to operate a similarly designed ship we are testing a few hangers down”, Sam concluded in a matter of fact way. As they strapped into their seats Pein noticed they were one member short. “Anyone seen Sen?”, he asked. (Sen is Pein’s nickname for the T-1000 being the Japanese word for the number one thousand) Neytiri responded, “Sen has attached itself to the bottom of the hull, that way it can detach easily when we arrive and scout the meteor for any unknown variables or weak points”. “Then it looks like we are ready to go”, Sam said as he nodded to the technician who exited though the airlock sealing it behind him. “One last thing before we go”, Pein exclaimed as he pulled out his iPod. “This kind of mission requires some tunes to motivate us”, he said as he connected his iPod to the console in front of him. As he did one of his favorite song began to play over the ships intercom and he gave Sam a devilish smile. Sam knew what song was programmed before it began to play because he had heard it so many times before. He knew that there was no point in arguing so all he said was, “Oh Boy!”
“We have arrived at the target”, Neytiri said as the ship began to slow with a natural ease as if it were just another limb. “Sen, are you ready to deploy?”, Sam said as he began to bring up the targeting computer at his console. “Affirmative”, came the response without a hint of emotional inflection. “Sen may not be the best conversationalist but you couldn’t ask for a better teammate, as long as it’s programmed correctly”, Pein said with a smile. “I am pleased the prototype nanite transponders are working so well, they are perfect for a mission of this type”, Sam said. “Yeah, we all know your a genius but until you can replicate a Jutsu be glad we are on the same team” Pein replied as he finished fixing his hair in the reflection of an inactive monitor. As if ignoring him Sam announced, “payload disabled, firing in 3…2…1…missile launched”.
Upon impact with the meteor Sen’s sensors noted an inconsistency with the reverberation levels detected. Sen extrapolated that this meteor must be hollow and as it oozed of the rocket housing it new exactly where to go. Locating the nearest fissure Sen began to slide down intrigued with the unique new environment it was now in. Suddenly Sen came upon a metallic surface that was unlike anything it had encountered on Earth. Sen began spreading over the surface searching for any identification and almost instantaneously knew that this was a ship and it was round. After finding an airlock Sen filled the space between the rock and ship. As Sen began expanding the rock and debris fractured and slowly drifted away as it dislodged from the ship. With a little more searching Sen found a control panel which was designed for a hand with only three fingers. Several permutations later Sen hit upon the the correct shape and the airlock opened with a whoosh. Sen entered the ship and sealed the airlock. Sen was in a vast cavernous chamber with faint heat signatures linked in chains attached to a hub in the center of the room and radiating outward towards the walls. There were no controls on the inside save for the airlock itself. With low visibility, a statistically low chance of being able to restore the ship alone and no apparent threat Sen sent the “all clear” signal back to the team.
Geez, way to leave us hangin’! Finish up already, Im dyin to find out whats going on with that ship.
Thanks to the PNT’s the rest of the team was able to monitor Sen’s progress. Neytiri began docking with the sphere as Sam and Pein affixed their helmets and gathered gear. Opening the inner airlock of the sphere they were supprised to see that Sen had created a dome over the entrance. A face began to form in the center of it and they recognized the form of Pein’s favorite actress materializing. “Why did you keep me waiting, I was getting lonely” Sen said with a perfect reproduction of the actresses voice. In an instant Pein tossed Sam toward the back of the airlock and clasped his hands together. “Suiton Suish?ha!”, exclaimed Pein as the small amounts of moisture in the room began to gravitate in front of him. In a second it was flying toward Sen immediately followed by a shuriken. As the water made contact with Sen it flash froze and struck by the shuriken it shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces. “Do you always have to over react like that”, shouted Sam. “Yes!” stated Pein with pride and a hint of delight in his voice. “Sen will be fine, it’s to valuable to really destroy. I just had to teach it a lesson.” “Let’s just get top work”, Sam said exasperatedly.
As Pein entered the room he placed several magnetic lights surrounding the airlock which illuminated the surrounding area. Several pods could be seen in the immediate area each connector by cables and tubing to the next all leading off into the darkness. Sam floated over to the nearest pod and began examining it. “Do you think this could be a weapon of some sort?” Pein asked as he looked around the room admiring the shear size of it. “I am not sure yet”, Sam replied. “We need to get to the center of this room, all the controls must be located there”. Sam and Pein continued to the center of the room by moving from pod to pod. Meanwhile the pieces of Sen closest to the lights warmed enough that they could begin gathering themselves together. By the time Sam and Pein made it to the center of the room Sen was in one piece again. With one end attached to the wall Sen shot across the chamber like a rubberized needle stretching the entire distance. As soon as Sen hit the platform the opposite end detached and shot back like a rubber band being cut. In 10 seconds Sen had crossed the distance it took Pein and Sen nearly 10 min. While retaking a humanoid form Sen asked, “Was my reproduction accurate this time?” Sam answered with a chuckle, “I think his reaction spoke for itself”. “Enough, what do you think we got here, Doc?” said Pein. They were all standing on a platform at the center of a column that stretched from floor to ceiling. “These controls are unlike anything I have ever seen”, said Sam. “These symbols are similar to ancient pictographs but still very different.” “Can you start this thing up?”, asked Pein. “These readings seem to indicate that the power supply for this ship is very low, give me some time to work on this”, answered Sam. “I have taken the liberty of scanning the area and I detect two thousand six hundred eighty four heat signatures”, stated Sen. “They are all coming from these pods?”, Sam asked and seemed very intrigued. “I believe I have found a log of the ships progress. If I understand this correctly, this ship has been traveling a long time. It would take a lifetime just to read them all if I fully understood the language”. Sam turned to Sen and said, “Will you assist me with some calculations?” Sen nodded and lifted up an arm, it immediately flattened out and formed the shape of an oval. Sam began writing out some very complex calculations on the silvery surface with his finger. When he finished Sam turned to Sen and asked, “Compute please”. Sen retracted the appendage, looked at both companions and answered, “Four million one hundred seventy nine thousand fifty two”. As Sam’s jaw hit the ground Pein looked a bit confused and asked with a slightly worried tone, “What does that mean?”. “That is how long this ship has been out here”, Sam answered with a bit of gravitas. “Are you saving it really is alien?” Pein asked in excitement that his dreams of meeting a hot green alien chick would finally come true. “Perhaps not”, Sam replied. “Time is a really a measure of a planets rotation and the orbit around its star. This log uses almost exacTly the same formula to calculate time as we do.” “Are you saying it translated the time to correspond with this system”, asked Pein with a bit of irritation. “I’m saying that…” Sam was cut off by Sen who answered, “This ship came from Earth”. “If it is from Earth then who launched it and what is its purpose?”, asked Pein. “I think we won’t know that unless we can get power to the rest of these systems”, answered Sam. “These other panels”, he continued as they moved around the console “seem to indicate that there is a small bit of fuel left, but the system is unable to initiate the reaction”. “Can you tell what it would require to re-initiate it?” asked Pein. “It appears to be a malfunction in a device at the bottom of this column. The system requires a strong electrical current to start the chain reaction”, explained Sam. “Gotcha” replied Pein as he turned to Sen and said, “let’s go slick!”. He pushed off the console towards Sen’s position and they hugged each other. As soon as they connected they left the platform in a diving motion and arrived at the bottom in much the same way Sen did arriving at the platform. Sen pushed Pein off toward the bulkhead and Sen moved to the panel and opened it. “Make sure you close that panel as soon as I’m finished, no telling what could happen”, said Pein. Sen gave a “big” thumbs up as Pein clasped his palms together. “Raiky? no jutsu!” he exclaimed as sparks started to appear in front of his hands. The sphere of electricity grew till it was the size of a basketball and then it was gone. It had flown towards the panel so fast that even Sen couldn’t track its course. Sen slammed the panel shut just in time to hear what sounded like a bolt of lightning shooting from the bottom to the top of the column. The crack was followed by a very low pulsing that reminded Pein of a heartbeat. All of a sudden lights began to turn on and for the first time they all could appreciate the true vastness of the chamber they were in. All of a sudden they heard Sam’s voice over the radio, “Oh Boy!, you guys better get up here quick, you got to see this.”
That’s what they said in the cast, but it’s not entirely accurate. Technically speaking, a meteor is just the streak of light in the sky left behind a rock falling from space, so unless it’s blindingly bright, a meteor itself isn’t dangerous at all.
Barring that somewhat literalistic definition, the scenario is still open to interpretation, so here is an exact transcript:
Team Badger:
[ul][li]Robot: Brainiac
[/li][li]Scientist: Dr. Daniel Jackson
[/li][li]Warrior: Buffy Summers
[/li][li]Alien: Thanos[/ul]
[/li]
First off, Brainiac will infiltrate the internet, absorbing all human knowledge into himself. Thanos will then use the energy beams on his space throne to cut the rock up into manageable chunks and then use the tractor beams to launch the rocks at the planet’s major population centers, as an offering to his beloved Lady Death. Those who survive the initial bombardment will die from cold and starvation as the planet is blanketed in dust. And then Brainiac will use Daniel and Buffy as breeding stock in his intergalactic zoo, thereby saving humanity in perpetuity.
And, of course, Brainiac will use his global internet access to play this song over every speaker on the planet, in sync with the meteorite impacts.
though everyone else dies, but i am sure Daniel and Buffy will make very beautiful children…
That’s why I quoted the scenario. It specifies that we have to “save humanity” — as in the species — but not necessarily every single member of the race. :rolleyes:
The offspring are still human (unless I’m missing something about Buffy) so… it counts.