too…hard…to pick!!! :eek:
sips Dr Pepper
Alas, I’m one of those “I don’t drink sodas” people. Though I must say that when I DO break bad it’s with a Dr. Pepper!
Needs a “Lamentations of their women” option.
Breathing will keep you in the game long enough to get coffee.
Why choose? With infinite possibilities there must be a dimension where we all breath Dr. Pepper. I choose to call it heaven. The irony is I can’t get there by drowning myself in Dr. Pepper. 
I don’t like Dr. Pepper.
I’m rather anti-Pepper.
DEW FOR THE DEW GOD!!!
I like breathing. 
You fools!
The obvious choice is Doctor Pepper and LET ME EXPLAIN.
Air is a whorish mix of gasses that are inert (lazy Nitrogen, I’m looking at you!), noble (Oh, Mister ‘I’m too fancy to stick around’ Helium, your lofty attitude has been noted), dirty (carbon dioxide, you are such a guilty pleasure, you leave me gasping), and then finally, the useful: Oxygen. It’s not just a TV channel anymore!
Most of the stuff in there is USELESS! It’s a bunch of inefficient THINGS thrown together in a Boyleing mass of heaving, windy WASTE that blows around knocking things over and generally getting in the way of things.
BUT THE OXYGEN… damnation, we still need it.
WHEN SUDDENLY
Enter, if you will, the miraculous concoction that the physician himself mixed to fight ill humours. I speak, of course, of DOCTOR PEPPER.
This is a mix of delightful components that come together in an unadulterated symphony of delicious taste.
* Water! The stuff of life!
* Syrup of the maize plant, a testament to our Native American roots!
* Caramel E-150d! A coloring agent so nice, they named it after a candy.
* Phosphoric acid! If it wasn't for this plucky little liquid, the Prussians might have won for the Kaizer during his reign of terror, but add a splash of H3PO4 to your party, and suddenly they're running in terror! Huzzah!
“But Thunderscreech”, you bleat entreatingly, “I must have air to breath or surely I shall die!”
“NONSENSE!” I thunder in righteous indignation. That witches brew of accidental plant farts is the result of Chlorophyllic excesses and has no place in man’s domination of the land. When given impossible choices, air takes second chair to the obvious superiority of Dr. Pepper.
“But Thunderscreeeeech,” you begin again, and I slap you in the face!
The answer, dear sir or madam, is as plain as very fundament of this magical brew. I speak, of course, of water.
H2O. Wasser. Vita la muerte cabron! (uncertain translation)
Yes, this liquid contains the key to your survival in a world UNENCUMBERED BY NATURE. Through the simple application of electrical current through a elementary anode/cathode arrangement, you can separate the blessed oxygen from it’s handy friend hydrogen, then do it again. Then again many tens of billions of times again! Electrolysis is more than just a hair removal technique, it’s also the key to life!
Properly segregated from it’s flammable roommate, the oxygen is now available to keep your lungs properly working, your blood corpuscles the correct color, and your life in a state of continued existence. THIS IS GOOD, right?
Plus
You also now have Doctor Pepper, which you CAN DRINK.
I rested my case and expect no further discussion is needed as I have clearly ‘put this one in the bag’.
Good day.
Edit: Bettererized
So
Despite my relentless logic, the poll continues to creep towards ‘breathing’ for some reason.
People are short-sighted, excitable animals. “Oh, I need to breeeeathe! WHAAA!”
Look I really wanted to pick “Dr. Pepper”, but I don’t have have a decent pair of tan khaki pants and a black vest.
Now I will sit back quietly and wait to see if anyone is old enough to get the reference.
Pepper the BLASPHEMER!!
Well done! I’ve always loved that commercial. More than the drink itself (though I’m pretty much anti-soda). It’s healthier to just eat sugar straight out of the sugar bowl.
Heresy R Us!
The commercials were funny. I liked the “Make 7-Up Yours” commercials better though.
OH IT’S HOLY WAR TIME NOW! :eek:
Argh! 14 to 5 now from 10-5? That’s not better, that’s WORSE!
we gave humanity a chance to redeem itself
looks like we’ll have to move forward with our plan to blow up Earth
Understood, I’ve set a grapple on the final Keystone. Set departure for 26:41:5F:00 universal, that should give you an adequate margin to get clear. Consider 1.0 local AUs to be a minimum safe distance.
I’ll meet you at the Tannhauser Gate as scheduled.