[FONT=Calibri]“You bastard!” My fists beat against his chest ineffectually, and he did not even attempt to stop me. Tears flowed blurring my vision but I could still see the pain and guilt in his face, I did not really hate him but I needed to hit something, anything or anyone. And he was closest, and the one who had made the decision that would send the man I loved off to die.
“You bastard!” I collapsed against him exhausted; he held me tenderly and attempted to apologize. I buried my face into his chest and screamed. Tears and snot stained his nice shirt as I screamed again and again, deep primal noises erupted from my now sore throat. Noises that frightened even me. Eventually the adrenaline faded and my voice gave out. He tried to comfort me but I shoved him away growling, and paced like a trapped animal.
“Susan please.” He pleaded.
I gave him a gesture that he did not need to know AmSLan to understand.
“It was necessary.”
My hands slid back into familiar patterns, returning back to how I had spoken for years before Stephan had repaired my hearing and voice box using his Nanites, a gift. A gift from a man I had once hated.
He sighed and shook his head, “No it is not what I or anyone else wanted, it is what we; needed.”
Anger infected my sign language; my usually gentle and graceful movement became crisp, loud and forceful.
“Yes, there is too a difference.”
My gestures started to waver and become shaky.
He shook his head, “No I am sorry, there is no other alternative.”
He watched my hands protest his decision.
“Alright there are other options, but none of them have the chance of success that he offers,” he pointed to the room holding my husband, “fate brought him to us 15 years ago. It is because of him that we survived the raids that used to plague this colony, it is because of him that the warring colonies joined together into one large thriving society.”
I did not want to hear reason, I paced and started to raise my hands to cover my ears. He grabbed my wrists to stop me and spoke calmly and clearly, “It is not mere coincidence that he crossed a continent and an ocean to come here,” he nodded toward theroom where my husband floated in a nutrient tank, “here of all the places he could have arrived. He showed up here. “
I looked warily around at the hallway we stood in. A hallway within an underground base we uncovered just a year ago, all this time it was right beneath our feet and wedid not know it. The council believed that this base was the reason Stephan’s programing brought him here, a part of him knew that a base was here.
He shook me, “I do not believe in coincidences Susan. He and this base are here for a reason, to give humanity a chance. To give us a chance Susan.”
“But at what cost?”
He closed his eyes and sighed heavily, “I, I am sor*”
I cut him off with a retort, [SIZE=3]“A man’s humanity, and possibly his life as well.”[/SIZE]
He let go of my wrists and tried to turn away.
“If we do this we are no better than the bastards that did this to him originally.”
He would not look at me so I was forced to use my voice again.
“You want me to use my gift to go inside my husband’s head and turn him back into that,” my voice choked with emotion, “that thing again.”
He took a breath and steeled himself, “That thing is the only hope for this society to survive,” his grey eyes locked on mine, “and restoring him to his former status is the only way he can possibly complete the mission we need him to run, and most importantly the only hope for his return.”
My eyes widened in shock, “You, you mean he volunteered for this?”
A corner of him mouth twitched in dry humor, “Of course, how didyou think we triggered his ‘state’ and got him down here and into the preparation chamber? Did you think I snuck up on himand used that ridiculously long ‘phrase’ to activate his phase one programming and make him cooperative? He would have crushed my larynx after hearing the first few words,” he rubbed his throat and grimaced at the thought, “he volunteered after I sat down and explainede verything to him.”
My eyes were drawn to the door of the preparation room, “Why did he not…?”
His voice was hesitant, “He knew this was going to be hard enough without a long drawn out goodbye and,” he cleared his throat, “he honestly believes he is coming back.”
I could not help but smile at that. It felt alien on my face after all the frowning and scowling I had done, I turned back to the councilman and stared athim. He looked a little hesitant and afraid, perhaps wondering if I was probing his mind. He saw the hint of a smile on my features and relaxed.
“He was so damned adamant about it I actually began to believe him…”
The smile gained strength, “I wonder if he really did, or hedid it to make your job of activating the programming easier?”
“Oh,” his confidence evaporated.
I looked back to the door, “I will do as you ask,” I shuddered and tried to rub snot and tears from my face, “but I will need time to get ready,” my jaw tightened and I closed my eyes, “I would like to be alone.”
“Ah, of course.” I heard his footsteps grow distant and then a heavy steel door close.
I do not know how long I stood there before opening my eyes again. Looking at the door I was reminded of the only other time I had gazed upon it, the time Stephan had lead me inside and. My hands slid up to caress the ears that now could hear the world around me; he had found this place and used a technology that had been developed for war and used it to heal; so long had my world been silent. And then suddenly I could…
When the world fell apart it had played many cruel tricks upon the survivors, mine was the loss of what had made me special. And the awakening of a gift that nearly drove me mad. I went from rock star to a mute, a silent freak that could hear nothing. Nothing except the unfettered, unwanted, and often cruel inner thoughts of those around me; whether I wanted them or not. Voices, voices I could not silence, and the alltoo often ugly emotions that went with them.
“Aaargh,” my palm slammed against my forehead, “why am I? I need to get my head straight if I am to, oh God… Please God let my mind stop wandering and tormenting me with memories.” I slapped the door control and entered the dimly lit room; it was as cold as a talent agent’s soul inside and had a hospital smell to it. There in the illuminated tank floated the man I had grown to love, who had healed my broken spirit and had given the community I work and interact with hope and protection.
He looks so peaceful and yet I know that millions of nanites are rebuilding him, using the suspension of material in the tank to fortify bone, build muscle and modify his body in ways I do not wish to think about. Dear God he looks so different already, more like an action figure or video game avatar than the man I know. I had forgotten how unnatural heused to look… I jump back as electrodes stimulate new muscle tissue to tone it and prepare it for the work ahead, I want to touch him but dare not. The nanites would consider my hand resources and strip it down in seconds and useit to rebuild him nictitating membranes or something.
The image of my hand dissolving as if in acid is enough to prevent my impulse to touch him, I look over at the read outs, they show him as 81 percent completed and an estimated time to completion. I lay out a set of underwear and BDU’s and head over to the briefing room, I need to get ready for the work ahead. I sit at the table and find folders already there, they have intelligence on the gangs that prowl the wastelands are as along the dessert and outer frontiers and the warlord attempting to unite them into a force that could descend on our little alliance of cities like a plague of locusts. The walls are plastered with maps and surveillance photos, the council sure did their homework.
[/FONT]
