Top Ten Punchlines to Cylon Jokes

GWC Community Off-Topic/Other
#1
  1. Lucky? Added together I had “19” last night.
  2. And after all that, they get there and it’s a dead planet.
  3. That Starbuck gives me a resurrection, hub or not (Leobin and Anders only)
  4. To get to the other side and nuke it.
  5. What do you mean we? Cavill?
  6. The Fifth and final Cylon, Zeppo
  7. Six, Six, Six.
  8. Larry don’t plant no more trees.
  9. Once you’ve had steel, you always squeal
    And the number one punchline to a Cylon joke is:
  10. I’ve got your toaster right here, pal (followed by gunshots)
#2
  1. vvvvvvvv vvvvvvvv vv vvvvv v vvvvvvvvvvvv vvvv vvvvvv vvvvvvvvv vvvvvvvvv!
#3
  1. 00101010110001111101000101001010100, 10001110!!!
#4

0010101011000111110100010100101010010001110 is not an even binary.

#5
  1. And that’s why they call her “Head Six”.
  2. Simon.
  3. No, replied Tigh, only those who catch my eye!
  4. The Aristocrats.
#6
  1. I said you should go to De Beers…
#7

And he had the cheek to call me a toaster…

#8

You have out-geeked us all, my friend.

#9
  1. Baltar!!
    (works for almost any joke)
#10
  1. Vv-vv
  2. I. Mean. What. The. Frak.
#11
  1. Le’go my Ego!
#12

Huh, that’s odd.

#13
  1. The same thing we do EVERY night, Pinky…try to take over the human race!
#14

It IS binary. You mean it’s not ASCII?

#15

Seriously, am I the only one who’s thinking of different ways to have a “19”?

Using only the female cylons with currently known model numbers, 3, 6, 8, there’s only one way to get it on with 19. A 3 and two 8s.

If you allow for the possibility of male cylons or mixed company (bisexual cylon orgy, oh my!), solution space gets quite large. Here are some interesting options:

Pu-pu platter: 8, 6, 3, 2 (One of every girl, plus Leoben)
We Are The World: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6 (Largest number of all different people you could be with at once)
Xena’s Delight: 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 1 (This is the most women you can be with at once)
Ladies’ Night: 1, 2, 2, 4, 5, 5 (If you wanna be with every man at once and ONLY men)
Deuces Are Wild: 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1 (Starbuck’s personal fantasy)
Devil’s Orgy: 6, 6, 6, 1
Wild Cavilcade: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 (If you are into that sort of thing)

(Also, Tori’s number is not known. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8 are taken, so she could be 7, 9, 10, 12. Let’s forget about her for a second, since that gets too complicated. Beside, who wants to get with that murduring b**ch anway?)

#16

  1. Where did you say this extension cord went?

  2. And I said, “Sorry baby, I’m low on hydraulic fluid and you need some body work.”

  3. And she said, “How long has this check engine light been on?”

  4. No, this frakker is electrical, but I need a nuclear reaction to generate the 1.21 Jigowatts of energy I need.

#17
  1. Boomer? I hardly know her!
#18
  1. “20 cubits, same as on Caprica!”
  2. “No, it’s just algae paste.”
#19
  1. Well, she got boned at the Eye of Jupiter!
#20

Should this really be located in the Gutter thread?