Kirk: Why would I lie about raping you? I’m the Captain.
Spock went to Starfleet academy, not cop school 
Well Captain, the Gulden’s Spicy Brown overloaded the transport diodes.
Did y’all start at 10:20 or 10:25?
10:20
baltar
Watch out with that frakkin dog! You’ll poke your eye out, kid!
Good thing he announced his entire title before calling in that emergency. Definitely the part of the message that you want to lead with. 
I can’t make up my mind as to what the order should be. Suggestions?
At least he didn’t say “Hello, I’m Ronald D. Moore, Executive Producer and Creator of the new Battlestar Galactica.”
He has scratches on his face, and he’s pantsless.
Good Kirk is a real wimp-wuss-pussy, ain’t he?
LOL
baltar
overact? Shatner? nah!
It’s not rape when the captain does it. It’s an order.
A little of each, it seems.
Hey, Wilson, I’m not the imposter. Give me your phaser.
He has scratches on his face, he’s pantless, and he’s horny for some hot Gorn action.
lesson: when the captain asks you personal questions, worry
Bad Kirk is putting on girl’s make up? I thot good kirk was the girly one.
Put out a plate of warm interns, and wait…