It is funny, maybe not so much, but it actually came as a shock that it is September 11th. I am embarrassed by that, which is why I feel obligated to share something I wrote five years ago recalling that day.
It isn’t our way in GWC to be political, so I offer this as not a political thread, but one to simply remember, and never forget. This is something I wrote as a memo to myself, something I haven’t shared with others. I present it to you, my homies, now.
I arrived at work at 8:35, slightly late as I had been out late the night before with friends. The morning was usual, we all sat at our desks, sipping coffee, browsing the internet and getting organized for the day.
My co-worker Mike got a call from his wife around 8:50am and immediately told us “A plane has hit the World Trade Center.” We thought it must be a small plane like a biplane, and went on the internet to get details. The internet suddenly didn’t work. You couldn’t get on any news sites.
Being the ex-smoker I announced, “You guys, if we go to the roof we can see first-hand the towers and what all this fuss is about.”
So we went upstairs and walked out on the roof. One of the things that will always stick with me about that day is how blue the sky was. There were no clouds in the sky in NYC on 9/11. There was no haze. It was a perfect day. Which is what made the fact that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center so bizarre…if the visibility was completely clear, how could this have happened?
We stared at the Tower. To me it didn’t look real. It was more of a movie special effect, my mind wouldn’t accept the massive hole in the building that I had grown so accustomed to. There was no smoke, no fire yet. Just a large hole, like the skin of the building was burlap and someone had slashed at it with a knife.
We stared in wonder at it and started making jokes. To be honest, at this point it was a party atmosphere. The regular work day had been interrupted. We made fun of a pilot who was so bad at his job he hit the tower. We pointed at the Tower and we laughed.
Our boss came up to look at around 9am, talked a little and announced, “Ok guys, time to get back to work.” We nodded and replied, “We will be down in a minute.” and continued to look. Shortly after he left a huge fireball erupted from what we thought was the North Tower. We assumed that this was some after-effect from the crash that produced the massive hole we were looking at. From our vantage point the South Tower was fine and all the damage was confined to the North Tower. My friend Richie looked at us and said, “Um, you guys…I don’t think that was fuel blowing up, I think that was another plane.” We looked at him like he was out of his mind.
“Richie, what the hell are the chances of TWO planes hitting the Tower?” He stood firm. “All I am saying is that I think I saw a plane right before that explosion.” We made fun of him, telling him he was crazy.
It was then that our boss came running up and changed my life forever. It was then that he told us that they had found a radio and just heard that in fact Richie was right, and that a second airplane had struck the Tower.
In an instant we were terribly quiet. Gone was the laughter. No one had to say it, we all knew what the implications of two planes striking the tower were. This was no accident. This was an act of war.
With the second explosion came the first visible fire and smoke. It now poured out of the gapping hole, black and thick. Everytime your mind came up with a question, the answer became obvious. “Why don’t they fly helicopters over there to help evacuate them?” “Look at the damn roof! You can’t see the sky through there. There is no way a helicopter could land.” We stood there frustrated at our inability to do anything. We stood there transfixed not able to take our eyes off the Tower.
It was then I noticed the other Tower, the South Tower was also on fire. I pointed it out to my friends and we came up with theories that fuel had splattered everywhere and simply caught on fire on the shell of the tower. We still didn’t know that both towers had been hit individually. I didn’t need someone to tell me tho, none of us did. The fire that I noticed on the South Tower didn’t go out, it spread horizontally frighteningly fast. Soon it was a band of fire stretching all the way across the tower. He had theories that perhaps bombs had been planted as well.
I suddenly became very thirsty for news. I needed to know what was going on. I left my friends and went back to my desk and started searching websites for any information. The internet was even slower now. I banged my hands in frustration on my desk as a new email popped into my inbox. It was from my friend Vania who lives in Moscow. He wrote, “…I am watching news. What is happening?” I stared at it, not sure what to say. I replied, stating simply, “All hell is breaking loose.” I finally found a website that told me some of the details I lacked. Two planes hit two towers, one for each. A plane had struck the pentagon. There may be 7 or 9 other planes unaccounted for.
I ran back to the roof to share the news. I heard a rumble as I stepped out the door and was greeted by my friends standing in a state of shock and a large cloud were the South Tower used to be.
“WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?” I demanded.
My friend, Jason who I had always looked up to for his strength and will couldn’t answer me. He stared disbelieving. His mouth tried to work, but no sound came out. He raised an arm to point at it and finally was able to say,
“It fell down”
I spun around and looked. On that perfect day, with its perfect sky as a backdrop there stood the Tower that had brought us up to the roof, its whole still exposed with fire and black smoke billowing out. Now, next to it was simply a massive cloud.
“Which part of the tower fell off?”
“No…no…the whole Tower fell.”
More people from the building started showing up holding cell phones and beepers and various pieces of information.
“The Sears Tower has been hit!”
“Washington D.C. is on fire!”
“The Golden Gate Bridge has been destroyed!”
We all slowly became hysterical. My mind could not wrap itself around this news, nor could it accept what stood in front of me. I remember clearly my mind trying to determine what to call the singular tower in front of me…was it still the World Trade Center? Is it simply half the World Trade Center? The tower didn’t look right without its sibling next to it. It looked cold and alone. I didn’t want it to go away tho, and willed it to stand. Bit of building were falling off it…at least, that is what I made myself believe. Everytime I saw something fall from the building I prayed that was steel and not someone leaping, having chosen to fall instead of burn.
The moment then occurred that we had been dreading, but in our hearts knew was coming. The top buckled forward, a wave of grey debris flying northerly. For a moment it looked as if the top would fall free of the building, but that was a story my mind concocted in the nano-second between the top breaking, and the building crumbling.
None of us could speak. We held hands. We embraced each other. We cried out in anger and shed tears. There was no reason to stay on the roof anymore, there was nothing left to look at.
As we walked back to our desks my mind was running through my mental catalog of addresses trying to answer the question “Who did I know in there?” I wouldn’t allow myself to ask the question, “Who might of been there today at a business meeting, or in a subway underneath, or on a street nearby…”
I sent an email to all of my friends and family telling them I was safe, and to please respond back telling me they were safe too. I tried calling my mother and got no response. I called my sister who lives and works blocks away from the Trade Center and got no response. I tried to remain calm, but had great trouble doing so.
