Romo Lampkin's backstory

I was on vacation this week and finally got some time to myself. I’ve been wanting for a while to follow up on the Lampkin idea that came up in the Three Word (re-imagined) thread. Well, here is the first installment. Hopefully, others will contribute.

A young fresh-faced figure approached the receptionist in a spacious mahogany-ladened office. The receptionist removed his nose from the file cabinet and positioned his glasses with his right ring finger. “May I help you?”

The figure removed a paper from an envelope, unfolded it, and placed it on the desk. The receptionist eyed the paper with disdain. Slowly his expression changed and his eyes peered over the rim of his glasses to stare at the figure. “Oh. I’m sorry. We didn’t expect you so soon.”

Joseph Adama sat behind a huge desk covered with law textbooks and legal pads. Broken pencils were sprawled all over the place. The room was filled with smoke. Joe Adama smiled at the figure in his doorway, “Come in. Have a…find a seat.” He snickered and placed his cigar firmly in his teeth and spoke through it. “You’ll have to excuse the mess. I’m not used to entertaining. Most… Who am I kidding? All my clients are either incapable of visiting me or wish to remain inconspicuous.” He smirked, “Of course you knew that already.” He cleared a chair and offered it to the figure who approached and sat. Adama continued, “I read those articles you wrote about me for your college newsletter.” He sat in his chair and leaned forward searching his desk for something, “which is why I asked to see you.” Recognition spread across his face and he raised a cigar box from toppling textbooks. He opened the box and extended it toward the figure who reached forward. “Go ahead kid, have a cigar. You’re gonna go far.” Adama began to scan his desk again, “I apologize, at the moment, I cannot find my cutter. You’ll have to bite off the end.” He reached in his pocket and extended his silver lighter toward the other’s cigar and lit it.

Adama sat back and cracked his knuckles behind his head, “It’s obvious from what you’ve written that you don’t like me very much.” He puffed his cigar, “That’s alright. You’re not alone.” Adama inhaled deeply, “You’re very passionate about the law and justice. In time, what you’ll realize is that I am right about the law. It is a crucible meant to burn away all the facts and reveal victory or the truth, whichever you desire. Stay true to the law and it will stay true to you.” He stood and walked around the desk gesturing to the door. “I’ve got one more thing to say and then I’ll let you go.” Adama placed his hand on the figure’s shoulder, “Justice is a matter of perspective. We’re all guilty of something.”

The door shut and Romo Lampkin found himself standing in the reception lobby of Joseph Adama’s law office, alone. He wondered what the great defender of “the worst of the worst” wanted with him. After the meeting, he still wasn’t sure. He smiled and reached in his pocket. When he removed his hand, he turned it over and was holding Joe Adama’s engraved cigar cutter. The inscription read: Yours forever, Evelyn.

Totally. Friggin’. Frakkin’. AWESOME, Frakintal! Very masterfully done.

You’ve motivated me to finally “put pen to paper” on a Romo backstory segment that’s been rolling around in my head for a long time. In this thread I suggest we feel free to flash forward or flash back to any moment in Romo’s history you want to tackle. It will be fun fitting all the pieces together. Time for me to get writing I guess…

Wow, that is all sorts of awesome, Frakkintalos! I especially loved, “Justice is a matter of perspective. We’re all guilty of something.”

This is very interesting! I hope someone picks up the next piece soon. Maybe someday I can take a stab at it… :slight_smile:

Romo Lampkin walked into Joseph Adama’s office for the first assignment of his first job since graduating from law school. Adama’s office was filled with smoke and the old man threw a file folder onto the top of the pile of other files, legal pads and books that crowded his desk. “Take a look at this file while I fill you in, Lampkin,” Adama said before lighting up a cigar.

Romo picked up the folder and started glancing through it as Adama continued. “I need you to do some leg work for me. See that tall blond in the dominatrix gear?”

Romo found the photographs of the woman in the folder; a tall, beautiful blond wearing a skimpy black leather outfit with garter belt, thigh high boots with five-inch stiletto heels and carrying a whip. Handcuffs and a ball gag hanging from a belt around her waist.

“That’s a sex 'droid. She was supposedly hacked and used as a murder weapon. She’s missing and I want you to find her.”

“A sex 'droid?” asked the surprised Romo Lampkin. “Aren’t those illegal?”

“Of course, the Cylon war supposedly ended the sex doll trade twenty odd years ago, but that didn’t stop Lucius Calpurnius from owning one. Now he’s dead and our client, Servius Tullius, has been charged with murder.”

“We’re not going to find her,” Romo said. “If I used a 'droid to kill someone, I’d program the 'droid to destroy itself when done.”

“If she was used as a murder weapon, sure… But what if it was Lucius who hacked her? What if he wanted to turn her into a lover with a more human range of emotions?”

“People do that?” Romo asked.

“According to Servius Tullius they do. And an amateur can easily turn a 'droid psychotic.”

“Where would a sex 'droid go?” Romo asked as he studied the close-ups of the tall and beautifully sculpted sex doll. Close up her skin was obviously silicon rubber, no little hairs, not quite the right texture for human skin. “With that skin job she’s not going to easily pass as human. Not up close.”

“There’s a list of shadow clubs in there,” Adama said jabbing his cigar at the folder.

“Shadow clubs?”

“You’ll figure it out, kid,” Adama said as he leaned back in his over stuffed swivel chair. “It’s all in there. Now get down to the casino district and see what you can dig up.”

“I’ll get right on it,” Roma said as he started for the door.

“One more thing, kid,” Adama began. “She’s dangerous. She didn’t just kill Calpurnius, she took him apart, slowly, over a period of four days. Starting with his fingers… removing pieces of him bit by bit.” He didn’t have to continue. The expression of horror on Lampkin’s face told him that Romo got the point.

The evening newscast continued as Romo leaned back into his sofa. He clasped his hands and placed them behind his head. He began to doze off when something from the broadcast caught his attention.

“President Adar issued an order today that military action would be used to resolve the teacher’s strike.” The image changed and Richard Adar filled the screen, “The violence must be stopped. This recent episode that put two police officers in the hospital has left me with no alternatives. Peaceful demonstration is acceptable but this administration will not allow teachers to act like criminals.” The image changed again to a commentator, James Mcmanus, “I think this is a foolish move. You would think after the last debacle when Adar involved the military that he would have learned his lesson. Many innocent…” Romo lowered the volume and started to rest his eyes again. It had been a very trying day.


Romo Lampkin sat patiently in the office of the president of the Twelve colonies. He wondered if he would be waiting long when the door opened and President Adar entered.

“Ah hello mister…err”

“Lampkin, sir. Romo Lampkin.” He extended his hand and the president grasped it. “I apologize for any inconvenience I may be causing. A person in your position is very busy. As I’m sure you were told before entering I’m here regarding the teacher’s strike. I’m also sure you find it strange that I’m here at all.”

The president smiled, “You are correct on all points.”

It was now Lampkin’s turn to smile, “Then allow me to cut to the chase.” Romo placed an envelope on the president’s desk. Adar folded back the envelope flap and removed the contents. His face turned pale. Lampkin’s eyes peered over the rim of his glasses, “I believe we have an understanding now.” Adar nodded. “Good. Now on to business.”

Once Lampkin finished explaining the details of his visit, Adar stood up and said, “I won’t do it. The last time I used the military to resolve a civilian problem; I’ve regretted that decision everyday since. I have the names of the victims in my desk.” He removed a sheet of paper from his drawer and slammed it on his desk.

Lampkin sighed and said, “Your secretary of Education is a very lovely woman.”

Adar’s patience waned, “What has that got to do with it?”

Romo leaned forward, “Let me put it to you this way. Which sound bite would you like to hear on the news this evening? ‘President Adar issued an edict today that military action would be taken against the protesters.’ Or perhaps ‘President Adar is sleeping with the enemy.’”

Adar frowned, “This is blackmail.”

Lampkin smiled, “No Mr. President these are possible futures but unlike so many others you have the choice.”


The light of the monitor filled the room while the newscast continued. Lampkin felt sleep approach and allowed it to overtake him. He began to dream. He walked through the doors of an opera house. He’d never seen anything like it before. In the atrium there was a network of staircases, all leading to a series of doors. Romo opened one set. It revealed an auditorium filled with seats and a stage. The stage was well-lit, almost blinding. Columns on the back wall held several drapes from the ceiling to the floor. Oddly, they were not evenly spaced. On the left, there were seven banners and on the right, four. In between the sets there was one banner, making a total of twelve. Romo approached the stage. From stage left Romo saw his cat, Lance, enter. It stopped in front of the single banner and sat. At the base of the stage, there was a staircase and Romo stepped up and on to the stage. He walked over to the cat, knelt down, and Lance spoke, “That spot is for you, Romo.”

As is the nature of dreams Romo was not surprised to start a conversation with a cat. So he played along, “Really. So what exactly is that spot for?”

The cat was not amused, “Romo, you are a cylon.”

Romo looked at himself, “Looks to me like I’m flesh and bone. How can I be a cylon?”

“Cylons evolved long ago. All this has happened before and all this will happen again. Don’t you read your scripture? You have been a cylon from the beginning. In fact, you are the Alpha cylon the first of the original models to be awoken. I am your trigger.”

Romo was a bit unsettled. He had never had a dream like this or felt he could ever dream up such a preposterous idea. The cat eyed him and said, “Cat got your tongue.” Romo chuckled.

Lance continued, “On your left are seven cylon models that have evolved from the present era of humanity. The four on the right were models designed from the previous era and programmed to ease the transition into the next. You have always been. Every era is different but eventually all converge together and a program is initiated. For this era, the seven have decided to eradicate their creators. A bold move and probably not the best plan but there it is. You will need to leave Caprica. Whatever transport you choose will be protected. The hybrids will make sure of that.”

Romo was very confused. The cat was perturbed, “Romo, wake up humanity’s children have come home.”

Romo rubbed his eyes and shook his head. It hurt. “What a strange dream? I’ll never eat Tauron again.” Romo noticed Lance sitting on the coffee table staring at him. Considering the dream, Lampkin chuckled. Lance continued to stare. Romo leaned in closer, “What do you want?”

“It wasn’t a dream Romo,” Lampkin rubbed his eyes and wondered if he had heard his cat respond. “We can’t wait any longer. Humanity’s children have come home.”