Project: Opening lines to stories

You’ve all heard ‘It was a dark and stormy night’, of course, and the phrase has even made it so far as to become the impetus for a contest of corny opening lines.

I have a cunning plan, let us run a thread of story opening lines we have created that run the gamut of corny to brilliant and see if anyone can figure out a way to make them stick. Either that, or this can be a low calorie writing exercise that doesn’t require the discipline to actually finish a gorram story.

Opening lines! No need to continue from the previous post, just fire off the first sentence of a hypothetical story/book/literary burp.

So, with that, I shall extend myself to the mercy of your steely knives and (hopefully) kick off a thread that could bring some entertainment all around, both from a consumption and creation standpoint.

Something I twatted on the Twitter that gave me this idear:

“With an invisible flash of light, the ship that wasn’t there flared into existence.”


Things were going uncharacteristically well right up until the atomics detonated.

“Where the fuck am I?!”

His face had all the compassion and understanding of a tightly clenched fist, this was not going to go well…

I can’t remember when I lost respect for my father but it’s difficult to forget the first time he killed a man in front of me.

This is a wonderful idea, BTW.

At times the truth can be admirable; I only wish I knew how to tell it.

The fawning was adorable, but the lie was unbearable.

“Gimme a break Suzi, can’t you see the guy is loaded?” I sneered back, “Loaded? I’ll say he’s loaded… And he is about to get loaded into the back of an ambulance if he doesn’t get those hands off of my ass.”

The spiderphant skitterthumped down the road, each of its eight legs slamming into the ground one after another like angry meat pillars.

The NostalgiaX settling into her nervous-system, Kate looked at the newly constructed building with a reflective sigh. “The good old days,” she mused as she directed the last girder into place with her crane.

Green yellowed the blue oranges.

A sehlat walked onto the Bridge chomping a plomeek stalk turned to the Science officer and said, “Ehhhh, What’s up, Spock?”

Posted on twitter by me. Had to post it here, as well.

He didn’t know where to look first - at the particle bean rifle, or at the perfect cleavage she had as she pointed it at him.

He awoke dying.

The cat barked uncharacteristically loud for a Saturday morning.

The orange haired slep looked at the data screen. He saw the impending fleet moving down the screen. He turned to his crew and said “Wha, me worry?”

The ex reality-show contestant imploded on herself in a flash of expiring relevance.

Kyle looked down the courtyard, the mechs towering above him like soliders at attention.

  1. Knight fell.

  2. It is on cold foggy mornings like this one that I grow thoughtful and reminisce upon my recent death.

Hurtling through the violent atmosphere like a bullet; a runaway train towards oblivion.