WooHoo! Another great recap. You’re almost making me want to rewatch them myself. Looking forward to the next one…
The amazing thing is that Starbuck gets caught but doesn’t get any crap for it. One of the Chicks said she wouldn’t have it any other way. Starbuck the Original Space Pimp.
(Wisebob134 will not be held accountable for any of the statements he may or may not make on whether Starbuck is or is not the “Original Space Pimp”)
Nope. Well, not in any of the local bars and liquor stores anyways.
I’m mixing it up so I don’t become complacent.
Thanks Phil!
Yes, that surprised me too.
Previously on original Battlestar Galactica
Episode One
“Saga of a Star World” PART ONE
“Saga of a Star World” PART TWO
Episode Two
“Lost Planet of the Gods” PART ONE
http://forum.galacticwatercooler.com/showpost.php?p=110659&postcount=73
Episode Three
“The Lost Warrior”
Episode Four
“The Long Patrol”
This week’s episode:
“The Gun on Ice Planet Zero-Part One”
As always, if you like the recaps, please leave some feedback, cause I live for props—even if it’s just to say you liked it, or didn’t. “I think you’re stupid” is acceptable feedback. To place the setting: I am watching BSG TOS after a day of racing snowmobiles on a frozen lake, plus a lot of fishing, all in -5F (not including wind chill). Vacations are great. Drinking may have been involved. Please forgive any typos; thank you. I have heard a lot about this episode. It will be interesting to watch. Even Dr. Cox in “Scrubs” talks smack about this episode. Might I see a pipe beat down in this episode? I can only hope.
00:29 Recap. Muffit II appears. May have to take a shot of whiskey to calm my nerves. He’s scary. And they give the nightmare Alf to a seven year old? God(s) help us.
3:04 ENGINE 1, ENGINE 2, ENGINE 3, followed by TURBO 1, TURBO 2, and TURBO 3…that is how you start a Viper, in case you were wondering. So simple, even Boxey could do it…
3:37 Sorry to play up to stereotypes, and I honestly apologize for this, but I have to…
Boomer: “Your instructor is back at base playing 7-11…”
Lucky: Does this game involve Middle Eastern men dealing cards, all the while speaking in a questionable English accent? At least the card game is 24 hours long, so you will be able to get a hand in… Beware the Glock as the ides of March approach…
3:47 “overheat and you evaporate,” more wise words of wisdom from Boomer.
4:41 The Galactica is herded to the Ice Moon in quadrant Sigma! Get with the times Larson! I should know, the military phonetic alphabet is alpha, bravo, Charlie, delta, echo, foxtrot, gulf, hotel, india, Juliet, kilo, lima, mike, November, Oscar, papa, Quebec, romeo, sierra, tango, uniform, victor, whiskey, x-ray, yankee, and zulu.
5:29 LARRY! He’s about ready to fire up the big guns.
6:44 random cadet killed by the big guns. Was he an Adama? I hope so, otherwise it’s going to throw off my logic formula.
7:08 I wasn’t sure if this needed to be said, but hell, I will take a stab at it. The Viper pilots have their own conveyor belt to the launch tubes that looks like one of those horizontal conveyors you see in the airport. It’s both unsettling and funny as hell.
7:48 What kind of a military is this? Two cadets ignore Starbuck’s warning to turn back from the Ice Moon. I predict they will shortly be killed.
7:56 Larry wants one of the pilots alive! He must be getting soft in his young(?) age. I remember a time he would take a pipe beat down first, and ask questions later! Starting to feel like the season three webisodes.
8:54 Another Viper lost to the super gun at point blank range. I called it. Random pilot dies.
9:40 Viper crash lands.
11:56 PapAdama wants to send a small strike force to destroy the gun. This is feeling like a WW II movie now.
14:20 Huh, most of the mountaineering, cold weather survivalists the Galactica needs are on the prison barge. Be interesting to see where this one goes.
17:26 I like the line up of criminals they have for the mission—they are a lot more interesting than the regular characters, but it’s starting to feel like some WW II movie that I can’t think of its name.
20:00 The cadet pilot on the Ice Moon drops one of the Larrys, but his pistols jams, and he is captured.
20:18 What the the f*** is that??!! Oh, just Muffit II again.
24:54 Larry wises up as the “magnificent 7” attempt to drop on the planet. Viper swoop and shoot™. Viper number three killed by the big gun.
28:00 Starbuck crash lands with the “magnificent 7” on board.
29:00 as the magnificent 7 attempt to take off in the sand crawler/APC/whatever, they discover Boxey and Muffit II[!] have stowed away on board. Will we see another Muffit II mauling. In place of a pipe beat down, I will settle for one.
31:07 After shooting down a raider off the sandcrawler’s gun:
Starbuck: “Yee-haw!” This is some heavy stuff, folks.
32:00 “Go rust yourself!” good smack talk when dealing with Larry. Makes sense I suppose, assuming of coarse that Larry rusts.
32:17 Captured Viper pilot hooked up to machines. Again, it’s feeling a lot like the season three webisodes.
35:00 Mutiny on the sandcrawler. It loses power and one of the magnificent 7 nearly gets their head blown off.
35:47 The air might turn to liquid spelling death for the magnificent 7. The air can turn to liquid on the Ice Moon? Doesn’t make sense to me. Muffit II makes a break for it.
39:40 The magnificent 7 are saved by hunters wearing track suits. More humans on other planets? Again, the only things that will survive a nuclear war are roaches and humans.
40:00 The hunters are clones: "Theta class life forms.” WTF?
41:37 The plot thickens. A human doctor working for the cylon[z] created both the big gun and the clones.
41:42 Austin Powers moment: “the pulsar(Larrys big gun) is constructed of Magma.”
44:44 The clones are leading the magnificent 7 to the clone village through an ice cave. I keep expecting the yeti from Hoth to jump out. Where’s Luke Skywalker when you need him?
45:00 Larry is in close pursuit.
47:00 Baltar! What an evil bastard! The Cylon[z] close in on the galactica! The end! What will happen next. Tune in next week!
Viper swoop and shoot™: 1
Exploding Vipers: 3
Muffit II sightings: 5
Pipe beat downs: 0
Capes: 0
One of the things I like about this is seeing all the little details that I forgot, but RDM mined for future plot points (the convicts, the human connected to the machine.)
BTW, the movie you’re thinking of is “The Dirty Dozen” (with a helping of “Guns of Navarone.”)
One of my faves.
Brit Ekland was in that one. Woo-boy!
Never was there more “cast trooping” than in this ep.
Glad yer doing this, Lucky! I look forward to it.
3:04 ENGINE 1, ENGINE 2, ENGINE 3, followed by TURBO 1, TURBO 2, and TURBO 3…that is how you start a Viper, in case you were wondering. So simple, even Boxey could do it…
Hey, in Galactica 1980 Boxey DID do it!
HEY-OH!
By the way, Lucky, you ought to consider writing for this site sometime:
http://www.agonybooth.com/
Thanks for that, Armando. I haven’t checked out that site in a dog’s age. I noticed they have an entry on The Infinite Vulcan, which is kind of TAS’ Spock’s Brain. Can’t wait to settle down with that one.
Thanks, those were the films I was trying to think of. I went with magnificent seven because there were actually seven—three colonial pilots and four convicts.
Thanks!
Thanks for the link, Armando. Now bookmarked. That site has a level of snark that I hope I can aspire to. I loved their take on Battlefield Earth and Southland tales.
Previously on original Battlestar Galactica
Episode One
“Saga of a Star World” PART ONE
“Saga of a Star World” PART TWO
Episode 2
“Lost Planet of the Gods” PART ONE
“Lost Planet of the Gods”
Episode Three
“The Lost Warrior”
Episode Four
“The Long Patrol”
This week’s episode:
“The Gun on Ice Planet Zero-Part One”
This week’s episode:
“The Gun on Ice Planet Zero-Part Two”
Hi folks, it’s been a while. At this point, I think interest in this has died down, but I am going to finish since Chuck said I wouldn’t make it. Damn you Chuck, damn you to hell! Warning: heavy intoxication. Forgive typos, please.
Lucky’s recap: Starbuck is a man, and the only reason I am watching BSG TOS on a Monday night drunk is because my girlfriend left me. Super. Episode may be 90% more bitter and sarcastic than usual. Stylish capes are the new fad, and I have finally figured out the inspiration for GI JOE. GI JOE=Colonials, and Cobra= Cylon[z]. Kobol is set in Egypt, and Larry has a degree in killing Adamas. Tigh shall not utter craaap, but there is no mutinies, though I see one coming up in this mission. SGT. S is going to knock out the Nazi guns, I mean Starbuck, and by Nazi guns, I mean Cylon. Please, oh please, God, let there be no more Boxey and Muffit II, I don’t think my fragile psyche can handle it. By the way, Dr. Cox hates this episode, but especially the writers of this episode (not a joke, it was a line in a Scrubs episode). Posting appropriate Scrubs youtube video will result in god-like geek status.
00:14 Clone Creator during recap: “I have no control over my creations; no responsibilities!” Hey, sounds like congress with the stimulus bill. What, with the 1,000,000$ for dog parks, and multiple 100,000 for various cities to add “doorbells.”
2:20 FYI my favorite Viper Pilot, Jolly, whom I have been calling “Mario” is really called Tony Swartz. If you are keeping track, he played a huge bit in the “Mario’s revenge” segment. Paused. Wiki consulted. Nada. However! Amazon, “Smoking is a dirty business” advertisement. Don’t believe me, go here: http://www.amazon.com/Smoking-Dirty-Business-Tony-Schwartz/dp/B000UUC4R2
Alas! Mario, how far ye have fallen! (you didn’t believe me on the 90% more bitter, did ya?)
3:15 Good God, you are almost making me believe you are real. Stupidity on this scale must surely be a sign of your divine presence. A recap for the recap. Not even joking.
6:00 Six minute of recaps finally ends. Good God folks, I am an American. I have a notoriously short attention span. Y’all just lucky this show is as exactly as old as I am (I’m not on your lawn Pike, so don’t start!) and I am drunk, otherwise I would be changing the channel.
6:19 Humans created by the Cylon[z] for slave labor? Talking about the clones here folks. Huh.
6:46 Muffit II appears with Boxey. Smoking lamp is now green.
8:00 A underground village of Clones!! Dun dun dun……
9:12 Baltar and Lucifer have a heart to heart. Baltar orders the Larrys to attack the BSG on a suicide mission. Then says he would give the same orders if it were humans leading the attack. Lucifer then makes a few innuendos on how much of a machine Baltar is. Get it folks? Humans are like machines. That’s never appeared in literature, I mean, ever. /sarcasm (too much?)
9:43 Larry invades smurf, I mean clone village. Clone chick pronounce “we were thought to be sterile” as STAIR-AAALLLLE. It’s like the old school version of craaap, or something.
11:07 Clone creator gives the passionate “congress” speech I mentioned earlier. He is a pacifist that created the super duper cylon gun of DEATH! Scientist creates dooms day weapons for all the wrong reasons? Who Knew?
14:30 Does anyone else giggle when they see the viper pilots riding out on the platforms to their vipers? Looks like those conveyor belts in the airports. Clone scientist reminds me of Col. Sanders of KFC crossed with Darwin. Must be old white dude with white beard thing.
15:30 viper swoop and shoot™. I swear, they are just reshooting old stock video.
18:56 Mutiny! One of the magnificent 7 makes a break for it and is captured by Larry. Don’t frak with larry folks, he’s our centurion big brother.
19:51 They are really pushing the human=biological machine angle as the cylon[z] probe captured pilot’s mind. Pilot has an Anakin Sykywalker moment as he screams “NOOOOooooooo!”
21:00 Oh snap! Captured and traitorous magnificent seven member tricks a gaggle of Larrys into blowing them and him up!
24:00 Don’t know the dude’s name, but the magnificent 7 convict they got for the mission, the one with the scar, is a cool dude. Has a code of honor. I like him. Lucifer mocks Baltar.
26:13 Lots of BSG vs raiders, and mucho stock footage.
28:00 Can I just say, this Baltar is a Dick. He repeatedly trys to kill the galatica, and tells the Nazi guns, err, I mean Cylon guns, to start firing.
31:00 Magnificent 7 attempt mutiny. With the facemasks, I cant tell who’s who. I think scarface is still with the good guys.
36:00 Starbuck rescues captured viper pilot from part one! He’s like Rambo crossed with james Bond!
38:00 Starbuck has a way with women, even clone women, apparently. Clones may be up to no good!
40:00 Darwin (clone doctor) talks to the clones, and convinces them they should destroy the Cylon[z] gun.
42:52 The gold Centurions are the command centurions, and they are different from Larry ver. 1.0 in that they take TWO shots to kill. Scarface’s wife is shot. Is she dead? I think so. Boo hoo.
43:37 Croft is scarfaces name. Since he is the one character I am attached to, other than Larry, he is probably going to die.
44:00 Yup, she’s dead.
45:22 Take that you Nazis, I mean Cylon[z]! Gun destroyed!
48:00 Lucifer further mocks Baltar for his failure. Starbuck hits on three clone women at the same time. How the hell did they shoot these scenes??!!
Darwin (!): 1
Lucky Mocks congress: 2
Viper swoops and shoots raider: 5
Stylish capes: 0
Starbuck hits on three clone women at the same time. How the hell did they shoot these scenes??!!
Identical Triplets?
-Ethan
Not at all. I love reading these. I guess I should post so you’d know.
take multiple sips everytime you hear the voo-voo of an OG Cylon …heheh
i am loveing the budget increase for this episode. LOVES me some gold Centurion.
Who’s interest? Yours? I’m still interested. Just remember, you’re takin’ one for the team here, watching these things and reporting back so the rest of us don’t have to. 
11:07 Clone creator gives the passionate “congress” speech I mentioned earlier. He is a pacifist that created the super duper cylon gun of DEATH! Scientist creates dooms day weapons for all the wrong reasons? Who Knew?
What do these pacificst scientists who create death rays think people are going to do with them? Topiary?
18:56 Mutiny! One of the magnificent 7 makes a break for it and is captured by Larry. Don’t frak with larry folks, he’s our centurion big brother.
So the original guys had a mutiny, too? You have to admit, your timing of watching this show the same time as “The Oath” is a bit strange.
Keep these recaps comin’, Lucky! I’m enjoying them.
Previously on original Battlestar Galactica
Episode One
“Saga of a Star World” PART ONE
“Saga of a Star World” PART TWO
Episode 2
“Lost Planet of the Gods” PART ONE
“Lost Planet of the Gods” PART TWO
Episode Three“The Lost Warrior”
Episode Four
“The Long Patrol”
Episode Five
“The Gun on Ice Planet Zero-PART ONE”
“The Gun on Ice Planet Zero-Part Two”
This week’s episode:
The Magnificent Warriors
Our Cast of Characters*
*Yes, there are no female characters on this list. Complain to Glenn Larson, not me for the lack of interesting female leads. I would happen to agree with you.
And so it begins… what horrors will I be subjected to this week? Low budget special effects and locations? Whining Baltar? Muffit II? A man trying to eat his own face??!! Another essay from Dirk?
Beginning the DVD, and saying a quick prayer to Jude…
As the recap kicks off, it looks like I am in for a special treat tonight. Lucky me: Adama is being hit on by a women with a Russian accent, Apollo seems suspicious that his father slept with said women to get the parts he needed for the ship, agriculture ships blowing up…and a new alien species…the Pig face people!
Don’t laugh, it could happen to you, monkey face.
I wasn’t going to drink during this recap, but I am going to the fridge to grab a blue so that I can fortify myself.
“Prepare to attack colonial warriors,” commands Larry, as a group of five Vipers squares off with a large group of raiders. Pilot hits Turbo, swoops, and shoots raider. One down. Meanwhile, the centurions must be busy contemplating gamma rays, solar wind, and the finer points of quantum physics, since once again, another Viper swoops and shoots. Am I supposed to be feeling bad for the Cylon[z]? Well, I do, I can’t help it, they are just so hopeless.
Six raiders survive, and they swoop upon Galactica. Apparently, the collective fighting ability of the entire RTF was tied up in that small group of Vipers, because the BSG starts panicking. Hilarious side note, when Adama signal for a red alert, a buzzing sound goes off, and all the lights on the ship dim to a dark red. If anyone was ever in the military, it sounds like one of those NBC alarms. Those things were a lot of fun. I was a squad leader in a sapper squad, and we were doing a training exercise with inert booby traps, but they still popped rather loudly. One of my guys fell asleep when he wasn’t supposed to, so we tied trip wires to him, and strung them all across this field with high grass. We hid in the wood line, and turned on the NBC alarm. It sounded like downtown Baghdad as he ran across that field all confused. Good times…
Jolly is going in to save the day… with a pilot that is either called “green bean,” or, “Green beam.” I’m going with Green Bean. Green Bean gets in a dig at Jolly’s weight. Hey! Leave Mario alone! It’s not easy being a heftier pilot in a Hollywood where the pilots look like Tom Cruise!
Jolly and Green Bean swoop and shoot™ raiders. Jolly fails to save the day as two of the Agro ships, which bear a strong resemblance to the botanical garden in the miniseries, are blown up.
Tigh talks to remaining Agro ship captain. The ship lost its airlock, and this destroyed the crops. All this talk of Airlocks has me looking for Laura Roslin. Apparently, the farmers are going to need new seed to grow more crops.
Fortunately for the RTF, humanity is like a group of roaches, or that stain you just can’t get rid of, as Tigh has found an agricultural planet nearby. Adama plans to trade some old energy doohickey for the needed seeds. Unfortunately, the one women in the fleet who happens to own this part, won’t give it up without talking to Adama.
Tigh and Apollo drag Adama to the woman’s door, and he is fighting the entire way, carrying a boutique of flowers.
The woman’s name is Penelope, and she doesn’t have a Russian accent after all, just a really annoying voice. This scene is kind of funny actually, as she tries to seduce Adama, while he is back pedaling from the room.
Penelope says that her price for the ship part is Adama, and we later see him storming out of her room. Adama is hell bent on going to the agriculture planet…oh and Penelope is going too.
Ahh…Adama is half hysterical as he explains to Apollo that Penelope’s price was that he court her.
Oh GOD…Muffit II!!! The hell spawn and Boxey weasel their way onto the mission with Apollo.
Penelope is continuing to try seducing Adama, and he is continuing to not take it well.
Coolness! The town’s name on the planet is Serenity!
Pig-people come riding through Serenity, carrying spears and torches. They kill the town’s human sheriff and ride off… You don’t spear the pig, the pig spears you… [pours out some Blue in the sink in tribute to the sheriff] It’s all right pal, come Easter, I will take an extra serving of pork, just for you.
Amazing…the moon over Serenity looks just like our moon.
Adama refuses to be left alone with Penelope as the BSG crew ride into town. Apollo, Boxey, and the hell spawn stay behind. Penelope further tries to seduce Adama. He retorts with the battle cry of politicians on both the left and right: “what about the children?”
Starbuck and Boomer arrive in town, and being that they have StarDouche in the party, they stop at the bar. Forget needing to save the fleet, let’s have a beer! Apparently, the position of sheriff is cursed, since he is expected to display his dominance by allowing the Pig-people to kill him, as he stands defiantly in the street. Serenity folk are eyeing Boomer and StarDouche like they have found their latest victim. I wish I could display more than four pictures in a post, because y’all really need to see this guy’s pipe.
Our proud Colonial “Warriors” are tied up in a net as they make their way back to Adama, caught in the type of ambush that makes you wonder if it was thought up by space monkeys. But I shouldn’t put down space monkeys, they are a tricky sort, just ask Mal. Boomer and StarDouche’s ride is stolen.
Starbuck rides back into town to talk to Serenity’s head honcho. He tries to buy the seed with some gold. I only mention this because I am having a hilarious “The Price is Right” flashback as the gold is put on the scale, and dings up the number. “The price is wrong, bitch.” /Happy Gilmore
Boomer gives his SITREP to the old man. Penelope is PISSED that they stole her energizer.
Total role reversal, as the Pig-people sit around the fire sharpening their spears, reading for more mischief.
Clever. Head honcho tricks Starbuck into taking the sheriffs badge by gambling in a game of cards. Also clever, Penelope finally gets Adama to kiss her by bargaining the energizers location. Uncomfortable. It’s like watching your Grandparents making out.
Serenity comes clean with Starbuck and Adama on the Pig-people threat. Starbuck seems resigned.
It’s like a scene from “Anchorman!” Adama, Apollo, Boomer, and Starbuck vs. 100 pig-people. Spears are thrown. Laser pistols fired. Yet like the A-Team, no one is injured. Yet…
Oooh, I like Penelope, she goes out to save the Colonial “Warriors” asses, but…. Playing up to the stereotype of the helpless woman, she is captured by the Pig-people…
LOL, the Serenity folk are like typical Americans when they realize that this is a group of soldiers. “I’m honored to be in your presence, appreciate everything, I salute you, now piss off, and don’t count on us for shit…”
Oh God, Apollo is bringing the hell spawn to track the Pig-people. He leads them into a cave.
There is a standoff with the Pig-people, Adama goes to talk sense into them.
Adama reminds the Pig-people all they need is love…
Starbuck saves Penelope, and Head honcho gives the fleet their seed. How did Starbuck do it?
Oh, Starbuck convince the leader of the Pig-people to take over as the sheriff. Peace? Penelope is now kissing Starbuck, and Adama seems a bit jealous. Now grateful as Penelope tells Adama he’s to dignified for her.
It’s over, thank God, it’s over. I am now officially dumber for having watched this episode. May God have mercy on my soul.
Pipe beatdowns: 0
Viper swoops and shoots™: 4
Starbuck wins at cards: 3
+/- IQ Points: -10
Wonderful job, Lucky.
That’s Brett Somer’s who was married to Jack Klugman and died…I believe two years ago. She made many appearances on several shows from the 70s (CHiPs, Love Boat, Barney Miller) and played opposite her husband as his ex-wife Blanche on the Odd Couple.
SUH-weet!
You’re OSSIM!!
Heh, heh . . .
Muffit II: “Hell Spawn” . . . lol
Good Job as usual. I am a big fan of the old series for many reasons, but some times, I think that people should be able to step outside themselves and be able to laugh at themselves. This is a good time for me to laugh at all the corny-ness of the old series.
Funny, you talk about not insulting the space monkey. Did you know that the character of Muffit II was actually a trained monkey (orangutan actually named ‘Evie’) in the brown robotic suit? I am not trying to put anything down, I just find it ironic.
I like reading your reviews. Keep it up! If you thought this episode was good, you have no idea what your in for . . .
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Way to step it up, Lucky!
Holy Crap!!
Just on a whim, I started up ep 1 of BSG TOS on hulu this morning and HOLY CRAP.
I didn’t know Zack Adama was played by Rick Springfeild!!
I watched the show as a kid of course, but back then I don’t think Rick Springfeild was well known --or was he?