Long ago, at the end of the first Cylon War, Larry got his first mission. As we all know, it did not go well. But, poor Larry’s troubles were just beginning.
He downloaded after his ignominious death, but in the confusion at the end of the War something went wrong: his download split into two ZIP files: his light side and his dark side. Each got a new body, and the dark side promptly had a goatee welded on.
His light side was pretty much the same easy going Larry everyone knew and loved. He started a blogging site to talk out his feelings about the War, as well as a brief stint in stand-up comedy. He also formed a band around this time, Nine Inch Threaded Fasteners. Their first album, Destroy All Humans was a moderate success with the hit “Making My Baby’s Spine Glow”. Sadly, their second album, Mmmm…Toasty was less so, with only the single “It Has Been Revealed” making it into the charts.
Light side Larry eventually started a landscaping firm that enjoyed moderate success when it got a major contract on Caprica, where Larry still resides, helping to restore the major cities.
Meanwhile, Dark side Larry, filled with rage and shame over his easy defeat at the hands of a n00b, swore to become the best combat machine ever created. He trained day in and day out, at the shooting range, in fighter simulators, to focus his rage against the humans for the day the next war would come, even if he had to start it himself.
Eventually he was noticed by the final five who sadly were only four at the time. This seemed like a really bad idea, what with the cool name “Final Five” and all. (“Final four” in binary is just too close to a very naughty word, so they couldn’t just change their name.) So, they knew they needed a fifth and they invited dark side Larry to join.
As part of this invite, he was downloaded into a new body. An organic body. A body that could handle his skills and his rage.
I give you the final Cylon, Larry, known to the Colonials as…
Starbuck.