Hellmouth Jokes

Television, Movies Games and Books Buffy
#1

Just finished watching season the first of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” for the first time and I am quite amused how everything that goes wrong can be attributed to Sunnydale’s proximity to the Hellmouth. So much amused that I started making up my own little “you might be a redneck” jokes called:

“…you might be living on the Hellmouth”

If you just found out your new crush is a vampire …you might be living on the Hellmouth.

If your graduating class drops from 200 to 197 one week, 193 the next and 191 the next …you might be living on the Hellmouth.

If your mother is bitten by a vampire in a schoolgirl uniform …you might be living on the Hellmouth.

If your town’s ISP is posessed by an ancient demon bent on dating your best friend …you might be living on the Hellmouth.

If your school librarian keeps his midevil weapons collection IN THE FRAKKING LIBRARY and it is used regularly …you might be living on the Hellmouth.

If all the townspeople’s nightmares suddenly come true one day …you might be living on the Hellmouth.

If your teacher is actually a GIANT FRAKKING INSECT and is robbing the local high school boys of their, ahem, “fluids” …you might be living on the Hellmouth.

If your principal is eaten alive by students posessed by the spirits of a hyena pack …you might be living on the Hellmouth.

If there is a thousands-of-years-old prophecy about you available in the local vamipire public library …you might be living on the Hellmouth.

I’m sure I’m missing a few, can anyone think of more?

On a more serious note:
Buffy didn’t invite Angel into her house the first time, he just walked right in. What’s up with that? He may have a soul but he’s still undead. I’m sure it will be explained, or maybe she did invite him and I missed it.

#2

I think his inbetwixt status allows him more leeway than the strictly undead. Or, it may just be a continuity error.

On a separate note: I was always amused by Willow hiding crosses about her house. Jews (well, orthodox ones) have a separate tradition for ritualistic protection (torah quotes) and it’s interesting that they didn’t use that.

#3

LOL :smiley:

Such a great idea. :slight_smile:

I’m sure I’m missing a few, can anyone think of more?

From the first season? I think you’ve covered most of the major events.

On a more serious note:
Buffy didn’t invite Angel into her house the first time, he just walked right in. What’s up with that? He may have a soul but he’s still undead. I’m sure it will be explained, or maybe she did invite him and I missed it.

I think it’s a continuity error. Early episodes of SF/F shows tend not to have the rules all laid out in advance, so “mistakes” are inevitable. Vampires in the pilot, IIRC, couldn’t walk across the threshold, but they could reach their arms through the doorway, whereas later in the series (and in Angel), the doorway was blocked with an impenetrable mystical force field that acted like a wall for vamps.

On a separate note: I was always amused by Willow hiding crosses about her house. Jews (well, orthodox ones) have a separate tradition for ritualistic protection (torah quotes) and it’s interesting that they didn’t use that.

The crosses were well-known in Western tradition, so that’s probably why they used them. OTOH, it’s never really established that crosses and holy water are the only religious tools against vampires.

#4

I’m thinking it’s more a depiction of the difficulty of living in a minority group and trying to maintain your own traditions while making compromises to the ‘real world’ around you.

#5

She did technically invite him in - here is part of the transcript:

[i]Angel turns around, only to be sliced in the chest with the bar. Buffy
shoves an open palm into her assailant’s chin, pushing him off of her,
punches him once in the gut and then slams both fists into his head.
Angel is bent over in pain and is about to be stabbed again. Buffy
quickly side kicks his attacker in the face, and he falls back away from
Angel. She helps Angel up.

Buffy: Run!

They come running out of the alley. The Three get up and give chase.

Cut to Buffy’s street. She and Angel jump over the bushes in front of
her house and run onto the porch. The Three are hot on their trail.
Buffy gets the front door open.

Buffy: Get in! C’mon!

She rushes inside. Angel is right behind her. Buffy slams the door on
one of the vampire’s hands. He struggles a moment, but pulls his hand
back out. She slams the door shut and locks it. The vampire looks in
through the glass. Another one looks in through the window.[/i]

#6

Hrm. I suppose an order could also be an invitation. Well played.

#7

Granted. As far as we knew, the Rosenbergs were the only Jews in town. That said, consider the existential angst of the atheist vampire hunter (and surely there must have been some), having to deal with the very real evidence of a religious symbol having an undeniable effect on vampires. If that’s not something to make one doubt one’s faith (or lack thereof), I don’t know what is. :slight_smile:

Why not? If a fifth season taunt could work…

“Why don’t you come in here and say that?”

#8

My brain is an encyclopedia of useless knowledge - and about 85 percent of that knowledge is Buffy related - I KNEW she’d invited him in just had to find the proof. :smiley:

#9

If you liked the first season, your patience will be rewarded. It gets so much better.

#10

If a ventriloquist’s dummy animated by the transferred soul of a horny demon hunter is running rampant in your school and telling off-color jokes in the talent contest …you might be living on the Hellmouth.

If more than fifty percent of your dates take place or end up in the local cemetery, morgue, or funeral home …you might be living on the Hellmouth.

If the local vampire king puts an international hit out on you, drawing every freak, ghoul, bloodsucker and demon to your quaint, sun-shiny little SoCal town …You might be living on the Hellmouth.

If there are so many obituaries that they warrant their own section in the local newspaper …you might be living on the Hellmouth.

missmuffit: Thanks for the clarification, it seems that she DID invite him then. It’s good to know there’s someone out there that is intimately familiar with the material and can answer my questions. :slight_smile:

And for the record I’ve never known a teenage girl to have such poor decision making skills as to allow grown man, let alone a hundreds of years old vampire, sleep over in her bedroom. But hey, it moves the character relationship development along quite nicely, doesn’t it?

One last thing I’m curious to understand, hopefully explained in season 2, Buffy said she felt stronger after being bitten by the Master vampire. That sounds backwards but she is “The Slayer” after all. I suppose it wouldn’t be ridiculous to expect her physiology to be different in that regard. I mean, she’s a 95 pound stake wielding, axe swinging, wall jumping, bundle of fury, right?

Right.

And I wonder what happened to that creepy little boy at the end of the last episode? He just wandered away into the sewers. I hope we see him again, and I hope Buffy puts a big stake in him when we do. When she met up with him outside the school towards the end of the season finale I was yelling at the tv in my best Arnold voice: “STAKE HIM! STAKE HIM NOW! HE’S HEE-YAH”.

shudders

Creepy little bugger.

#11

The writers/characters make a couple tongue-in-cheek jokes about the high local body count later. I don’t want to spoil the line/s…

#12

Wonder what happened with property values around Sunnydale?

#13

That’s the thing: Teenage girls tend not to advertise that they do that. :slight_smile:

One last thing I’m curious to understand, hopefully explained in season 2, Buffy said she felt stronger after being bitten by the Master vampire. That sounds backwards but she is “The Slayer” after all. I suppose it wouldn’t be ridiculous to expect her physiology to be different in that regard. I mean, she’s a 95 pound stake wielding, axe swinging, wall jumping, bundle of fury, right?

Right.

Surviving a vampire’s bite is shown to have an empowering effect throughout the show. You’ll see more on that later.

And I wonder what happened to that creepy little boy at the end of the last episode? He just wandered away into the sewers. I hope we see him again, and I hope Buffy puts a big stake in him when we do. When she met up with him outside the school towards the end of the season finale I was yelling at the tv in my best Arnold voice: “STAKE HIM! STAKE HIM NOW! HE’S HEE-YAH”.

shudders

Creepy little bugger.

You will definitely see him again. :slight_smile:

They actually mention that in the seventh season.

#14

Willow gave a throw away line about the crosses later (past 3rd season?).