There’s been a lot of talk about the end of the world coming tomorrow so I thot I’d do a little creative editing.
Twas the Night before Rapture
Twas the night before Rapture, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that the Apocalypse soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of fiery death danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for our etenal nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a heralding angel and four tiny horsemen.
With a little old driver, so lively and evil,
I knew in a moment it must be the devil.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
“Now War! now, Famine! now, Pestilence and Death!
On, War! On, Famine! on, Pestilence and Death!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With seven broken seals, and Beelzebub too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Abaddon came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of death he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how scary!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up real tight,
And the beard of his chin was as black as the night.
The stump of a stogie he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his horns like a wreath.
He had a pointy face and a little round belly,
That shook when he cackeled, like a bowlful of jelly!
He was slim and mean, a right jolly old demon,
And I crapped when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Rapture to all, and to all a bad-night!”
