Or, you could print out that picture of Grace Park. That should help the tallness. [gutter off now]
That’s a good suggestion. I’ve never printed out a picture of Grace Park before…as far as anyone knows…what I do in private is my own business…:o
IYKWIM
Beat you to it GR! 
Hey, go easy on the Beave (GR). Do you think it’s easy from him hopping around on one leg, inserting all those "IYKWIM"s? It’s not easy, and it very tiring doing all those multiple, repeated insertions ______
Heck - I figure he’s made a macro by now. Once click and it’s done!
Repeated insertions? Uh. That’s just asking for a rash.
Previously on “Fun with Helo and Gaeta”
GAETA: Oh…um…Sure, fine. …um….you got a pen?
HELO: …I am the MAN.
GAETA: Listen, …
HELO: …But I say “frak that"…
GAETA: Helo, I really don’t….
HELO: …you got the one leg and all…
GAETA: (hand grips pen)
HELO: …Don’t get all bummed out…
GAETA: (hand grips tigher on the pen)
HELO: …Audra said she’d totally be a Helobine…
GAETA: AHHHHHHARRRGGGGHHHHH!!! (Gaeta leaps out of his chair and stabs the pen into Helo’s neck)
THREE DAYS EARLIER - Mess hall
HOT DOG: Hey Gaeta, want to go for a jog?
GAETA: What?
HOT DOG: I’m sorry Eileen…too soon?
GAETA: Too soon for what?
HOT DOG: Nothing Peg.
HELO: Back off Hot Dog or I will promise you that you will be washing Baltar’s sheets for a month
HOT DOG: Yessir…Major? Lieutenant? Captain? What rank are you today?
HELO: Captain
HOT DOG: Yessir…Captain <salutes and walks away>
HELO: How you doing Felix?
GAETA: <sighs> Allright I guess. Leg still hurts something fierce and my arm is tired from the crutch.
HELO: I’m sorry man. You know what? Here’s what I propose. I call up all the usual suspects and we meet at Moe’s tonight for some beers, some babes, some boozing, some dancing …
<uncomfortable silence>
[LEFT]GAETA: Karl, it’s cool, don’t worry. Do you think Seelix will be there?
HELO: You bad dog! You interested in Seelix? I thought…well…
GAETA: You thought what?
HELO: Well, word around town was you played for the other team.
GAETA: I don’t follow.
HELO: That you were more into jousting than spelunking.
GAETA: What? You aren’t making any sense.
HELO: That … well … you know … <raises eyebrows> … with … <raises eyebrows>
GAETA: Helo, you are freaking me out right now.
HELO: Does Mr. PP like the backdoor tunnel of love?
GAETA: WHAT?!?!?!
HELO: Do you like dudes?
GAETA: WHAT?!?!?!
HELO: Do you like dudes?
GAETA: NO!
HELO: Not that there is anything wrong with that.
GAETA: Totally. I just don’t swing that way, baby.
HELO: Ok, about Seelix… promise me one thing: Do not try and impress her with your tiger tattoo trick.
GAETA: Any other advice Ace?
HELO: Be yourself. Be cool. Don’t try too hard. Relax.
GAETA: Anything else?
HELO: If all else fails ask Joe to serve her a couple, “Starbuck surprises”
GAETA: What is the surprise?
HELO: The surprise? She wakes up with you my friend. High five![/LEFT]
Frakking Hilarious!!!
Lol
4567890
You sir are a comic genius.
Ouch!! Ouch!!! Rolling on Floor! Sides are Splitting!!! Stuff coming out of my mouth like Adama in Revalations!!!
…frak, man that was too FUNNY. You have trumped me, friend.:D:D:D
(Interior Galactica CIC). Helo walks over to Gaeta who is at his DRADIS station. Helo has a clipboard with a DRADIS System Maintenance Report for Gaeta to sign.
HELO: Hey Felix. How’s it going? I got a DRADIS SMR I need you to sign for me.
GAETA: Oh…um…Sure, fine. …um….you got a pen?
HELO: Yeah, sure thing. Here you go.
GAETA: Thanks. (Gaeta looks over the report, and starts initialing it in the proper places)
HELO: So dude, remember a while back, we were here in the CIC and I said to you “Weather’s changing, Felix. There’s a storm coming”. I totally called it dude!! Look at all the stuff that’s happened since I said that. Starbuck coming back from the dead. The Demetrius mission, capturing the Cylon baseship, the battle at the Hub, Lee becoming President, finding Earth. Wow man, was I right or was I right? I am the MAN.
GAETA: Well, a lot has…
HELO: That sucks about Earth, huh? Being all destroyed and all? Know what I say, dude? I say get over it. It’s all good. I survived for months on Caprica when it was all nuked and stuff, and I did fine. Even hooked up with a hot piece of cylon trim, if you know what I mean. I tell you, dude, I am the MAN. Am I the man or what? Even with a wounded leg, I got around. Toasters chasing me every frakin day, but I kept ahead of them—fleeing that cylon tyranny, right? See what I did there? A little play on words. That’s what I’m saying man, Positive attitude. I mean, I got around but I “got around”, if you know what I mean. Glowing backs, man…there’s nothing like it. Oh, yeah, I meant to tell you. I know you’ve been singing a lot, and that’s cool and everything. And, like I know it helps you deal with the whole peg-leg thing and all, but I need you to stop it. Yeah, thing is, Hera’s been having trouble falling asleep lately and we think the singing might be keeping her up.
GAETA: Listen, …
HELO: Yeah, so on the baseship, there was like a bunch of cylon model 8s—Sharons. And they’re like all totally in to me. Roslin’s like, “you are not married to the whole production line”. But I say “frak that”, I could have any of them. I bet they’re all like totally hot in the sack just like Athena. I mean they’re identical, right? Sex every night of the week for me, my friend, if you know what I mean?
GAETA: Helo, I really don’t….
HELO: I’m telling you. Cylons rock, man. Like, take Anders for example. I never realized what a cool guy he is. He and I are starting up a new Pyramid league. It’s gonna be like a special exclusive league for players over 6 ft tall only. It’s gonna be killer competitive, man. You should come watch. I mean you couldn’t play or anything cuz you too short and you got the one leg and all, but…. Weird all that about Anders being a cylon and all, but I tell you something. Doesn’t bother me at all. Frak, I’m married to cylon. I get along with ‘em great. I know it’s kinda fraked up me going on about Anders seeing as he shot your leg off, dude. But you shouldn’t hold it against him, man? Get to know him.
GAETA: Please! Just leave me alone….(hand grips pen)
HELO: Dude, you gotta be more like me. Think positive. That’s my motto dude. Think positive. Don’t get all bummed out, just because you don’t have any friends or a love life like mine. You got your career man, focus on that. You’re an awesome CIC officer, Felix. Kinda weird though, come to think of it, that Adama has never tried you out as XO. I’ve been XO, I’ve done everything, dude. XO of the Galactica. XO of the Demetrius. I was in even in command of the Demetrius too for while there. And I rocked, dude. I saw that mission through—didn’t let the trivial stuff phase me man. Like I said, you gotta think positive.
GAETA: Enough, okay!..(hand grips tigher on the pen)
HELO: Oh yeah, one more thing. Did you hear? On the podcast, Audra said she’d totally be a Helobine. She’s SO into me dude.
GAETA: AHHHHHHARRRGGGGHHHHH!!! (Gaeta leaps out of his chair and stabs the pen into Helo’s neck). THAT’S FOR BREAKING YOUR PROMOMISE TO ME, BITCH! I told you not to let him take my leg, bro. Do you see my leg? DO YOU? (stabs Helo in crotch with pen repeatedly) Payback is a fickle bitch, Helo. enjoy your 8’s
The End
Trump? Hardly my friend. Embroidered.
How did I miss this the first time around? Comic brilliance!
Or you could, um, look them up on IMDB. Might be cheaper than flying them all out to Boston. 
Was this really 5 years ago? Wow.
Seriously. There are a lot of jewels hidden in the forum. And by that I don’t mean the smoking hot singer / songwriter.