FSL 3.0 challenge 4: No Time To Panic

PROLOGUE
PART ONE

PART TWO

PART THREE

PART FOUR

Sherlock and Moriarty pulled up to a low concrete bunker in the outskirts of London after a harrowing escape from the city. Dozens of Moriarty’s henchmen were waiting outside.

“I wish I had an elegant solution planned,” Moriarty said wistfully. “I really do. I wanted to make you jealous, but unfortunately, I just run out of time. Life’s like that, I suppose.”

As he climbed out the car, Sherlock saw that the snipers were all holding rather large guns. Even in the faint light of dawn, he recognized the weapons they carried.

He’d first seen one aboard the Citadel, and he’d watched himself fire one at a strip club full of trolls, even though it had been Moriarty who pulled the trigger. The name came back to him instantly: Cain.

“As I said, the military doesn’t have any weapon that can stand up to the firepower of the Empire,” Moriarty said. “Luckily for them, I took the liberty of purchasing every single one of them that Cerberus had to offer, and stashed them in secret caches in cities around the world. As we speak, the militaries of every invaded country are receiving the coordinates of those caches, and instructions on how to deploy the weapons. They should be more than enough to turn the tide against the Empire’s ground forces.”

“What about their air forces, those fighters and those massive warships?” Sherlock asked. “How do you propose we stop them?”

“I’m working on that,” Moriarty replied. “Like I said, I ran out of time.”


Central Park was a war zone. Elisa had met up with her partner, Matt Bluestone, and the two of them were currently crouched behind the police barricades at Columbus Circle. In the park and the nearby streets, chaos reigned. The NYPD had been able to evacuate everyone from the vicinity, so there was almost no one around to witness the battle, but she and Matt had front row seats. Elisa was able to follow the action with a pair of binoculars.

The gargoyles and the Steel Clan were busy bringing down the fighter ships, and the Pack and Macbeth were taking on the white-armored soldiers that had swarmed the streets. The battle was fierce, but the troopers didn’t appear to anticipate resistance and seemed to lack a cohesive strategy. When Bronx leaped from the shadows and began tearing into them, an entire squad scattered and ran.

Elisa was astonished to see that Anthony Dracon, the mob boss, had shown up with his lackeys and that they were laying down cover fire with their stolen laser weapons. It was also incredible to see Macbeth take blaster shot after blaster shot to the chest, drawing fire away from the others. Demona was obviously far enough away not to feel the effects through their bond of immortality.

Brooklyn, Lexington, and Broadway were taking turns smashing through the cockpits of the Imperial walkers and tossing their drivers to the streets below. Thailog and Coldstone had joined up with several of the Steel Clan robots for an assault on the massive warship. Hudson and Demona swooped in, carrying Jackal and Hyena, and the lot of them landed on the ship’s command tower. Demona tossed an explosive charge at an access hatch, and in seconds they were inside. Elisa shuddered to think of the carnage they would unleash against the command crew.

Before long, the massive ship began to list sideways and drift out over the river. In moments it crashed into the water, smoke trailing from the gash in the command tower. Elisa watched Hudson and the others fly off, one by one, as the spacecraft sunk into the water. The remaining fighter craft quickly gave up and began to fly off into the night.

Matt got her attention. He was holding the radio, listening intently to the broadcast. “We’re getting reports from the other cities… Rome, Jerusalem, Mecca… Apparently they’ve discovered some kind of weapon that is very effective against those walkers. They’ve even been able to bring down some of the fighters.”

“I just hope it’s not too late,” Elisa said as she watched the gargoyles round up the last of the surrendering enemy soldiers. “Not every city is as tough as New York.”


Darth Vader stared down at the smoking hole in his chest-piece, directly through where his heart once was.

“The code,” Xanatos said simply as Vader started to sway, unsteady on his feet. He could almost feel the systems that kept him alive shutting down, one by by.

“The code,” Xanatos repeated. The Stormtroopers behind Vader seemed stunned, unsure of what to do. Vader wanted to order them to attack, to destroy Xanatos and Goliath at all costs, to avenge him, but he couldn’t speak. Couldn’t raise his arms. He slumped to his knees.

Goliath towered over him. Blood dripped from his palm were he’d caught Thrawn’s blade, but he seemed unfazed.

“It is over,” the gargoyle’s voice boomed through his helmet. “You are finished.”

Vader’s final thoughts as he died on the deck of Death Star’s hangar bay were of a woman he knew long ago, and the two children she carried.


Captain Pellaeon cleared his throat, attracting Goliath’s attention.

“It, ah, seems things haven’t gone exactly as we planned,” he said. “I would share the code with you, but I’m afraid Lord Vader didn’t trust anyone with it.”

“You are Thrawn’s direct subordinate,” Goliath said. “Can you command the fleet in his absence?”

“I can. What would you have me do?”

“Order every ship to leave the Solar System,” Xanatos said. “Once they have, we’ll allow you and your men to leave on your shuttle.”

“What’s to stop us from coming back?” Pellaeon asked. “You’re still defenseless without that code.”

“Actually, sir, we broke the code several minutes ago,” Owen Burnett said, appearing at Xanatos’s side. “It was rather simple, as a matter of fact. We’ve targeted your flagship and are prepared to fire.”

Pellaeon glanced at his lieutenant, who had his ear to his comm unit. The lieutenant nodded, and Pellaeon’s heart sank.

“Ah, Owen,” Xanatos said. “Impeccable timing, as always. I trust things are going well planetside? Is my city safe?”

“It appears to be,” Owen said. “I’d say the city has gained some unlikely heroes.”

“Excellent,” Xanatos said. “I believe you were saying, Captain?”

Pelleon swallowed hard. “I was just about to surrender.” He motioned in a downwards gesture, and the Stormtroopers behind him laid their guns at their feet.

EPILOGUE

From the top of the Eyrie Building, Manhattan appeared to by quite peaceful. Most of the fires were out, and Elisa and the rest of the city’s defenders were aiding in the clean-up effort near Central Park.

Golaith, Xanatos, Sherlock, and Moriarty stood on the tallest tower of the castle, looking east as the first pink light of dawn began to lighten the horizon. Xanatos and Goliath had stopped by London to pick up Sherlock and Moriarty on their way down from the station. The Imperial fleet had left the Solar System, and Pellaeon had promised never to return. Xanatos had told that if he did, they’d be waiting.

Thanks to the Cain weapon, the initial defense of the six invaded cities had been successful. It had bought enough time to evacuate those cities before the Empire could inflict heavy casualties in a counter-attack. By the time the Imperial forces had regrouped, Pellaeon had broadcast his surrender order and the battle was over.

“I just received word that the other Imperial attacks on Coruscant and Minuteman Station were unsuccessful. Two ships, the Normandy and something called the Millennium Falcon, arrived at the last moment and turned the tide of battle,” Moriarty said. “The Empire is scattered and on the run.”

“I doubt we’ve seen the last of them,” Goliath said. “Still, we’ve won an important victory. They’ll think long and hard before they considering invading Earth again.”

“And it appears that we’ve finally managed to put aside our differences and work together,” Xanatos said.

“Indeed,” Sherlock said. “I have to give Moriarty some credit, though. It was his foresight that likely saved us.”

“My foresight, Sherlock? It was you who let me go free after we returned from Dagobah. If you hadn’t found it in your heart to let me go, I never would have been able to set my plan in motion. Your compassion - and my ruthlessness - combined to save the day.”

“And my cunning and Goliath’s valor,” Xanatos observed. “We could never have defeated Thrawn and Vader alone.”

“So, where does that leave us?” Goliath asked. “Friends… or enemies?”

“Something else,” Sherlock said. “A team.”

“A team,” Goliath repeated. He hopped up onto the parapet and stretched out his wings. Striking a fearsome pose, he turned to stone as the first rays of sunlight washed across the castle.

“Magnificent,” Xanatos and Moriarty said in unison.

THE END

May the Force be with us all!

As the Stormtroopers advanced on their position; Obi-wan, Grievous, Jar Jar and 3PO all had glanced to each other knowing what was about to go down. Obi-wan rushed the stormtroopers with his lightsaber glowing. Grievous charged at the troopers with his four sabers rotating at an incredible rate. Jar Jar ran towards the firing troopers with his arms flailing to miss being hit. C-3PO turned on his comrades and just walked away.

Even though the stormtroopers’ aim were not the best, one shot was able to hit Jar Jar squarely in the forehead. The dead gungan fell to the wrath of the Empire, even though he was instrumental in their rise to power. Jar Jar’s body was trampled into the ground by an advancing AT-AT.

General Grievous unleashed all the hatred that he had been bottling up during this whole time having to work with Kenobi. The soldiers in white falling to Grievous’s blades brought him back to where he needed to be. His world was finally back to normal in his eyes. But as more and more stormtroopers descended upon his position, he did what he would always do. Grievous made his escape by jumping onto the back of an AT-AT and found a way to save his life to fight another day.

Obi-Wan ran at the Stormtroopers as Earth’s last hope. He cut a path through the soldiers like they were blades of grass. His saber sliced though bodies like it once had to the torso of Darth Maul. Obi-Wan used the force to push the AT-AT that had stepped on Jar Jar. The monstrous battle wagon came crashing down upon an advancing squadron of troopers. As the number of troopers kept getting closer to Obi-Wan, a stray laser bolt grazed the side of his head. Obi-Wan Kenobi limp body fell to the ground and all went black.

By the Force!!!

Obi-wan awoke to find himself in a large bed in his apartment of Coruscant. Someone was asleep in the bed with their back turned to him. Spinning in his mind was what had just happened to him. He slowly nudged the sleeping form next to him so that they could talk.

“Hey sweetie, are you awake?” Asked Obi-Wan.

“Well I am now, what’s the matter?”

“I had this crazy dream where I was having group therapy with General Grievous, Representative Binks and C-3PO. We had this Group Leader who thought I could work on my issues with Grievous after he had killed so many of my fellow Jedi. We had to move some little fuzz balls one time. And we had to get Trolls out of a stripclub. Then we had to play some game called baseball to help a species called Earthlings. The team that we beat at baseball wanted revenge so they invaded Earth to wipe us out. As I was killing these soldiers that had armor similar to Clone Troopers, I got hit in the side of the head and I just wake up.” Obi-Wan explained.

Rolling over to face him, Padme just shook her head at him.

“Obi-Wan, you really shouldn’t be drink that blue milk before going to bed, you always have these weird dreams.” she told him lovingly.

“Oh, those stomach flu that I had before you left on your last mission, well the medical droid let me know that I am pregnant with twins.” Padme told Obi-Wan with concern in her eyes.
“But don’t tell Anakin, he thinks he’s the father.” she told him with desire in her heart.

“You will come closer to give me some sugar.” he said while waving his hand in front of her gaze.

“Oh Obi-Wan, the force is with you!” :groucho:

Team Talks-a-lot in: “Take Me Out to the Pale Moonlight”

Captain Sisko’s Personal Log: Stardate 6-4-9… (unsure) 6-4-9… 6? Computer – what day is it? (COMPUTER VOICE) Stardate 64998.2. It’s only been two weeks… I need to talk about this. I have to justify what’s happened… what I’ve done… at least to myself. I can’t talk to anyone else… Maybe if I just lay it all out in my log, it’ll finally make sense… I suppose it started two weeks ago while I was going to my weekly Hero/Nemesis therapy session… every Friday morning, for the past month, I’ve been going to a therapy group with Dukat, it’s almost like war. It’s become something of a grim ritual. Not a week goes by that I don’t regret having signed up for this debacle… I’ve grown to hate Fridays.

Buffy and Spike appear to have become… closer… during the past week. Perhaps it was the knock on the head Buffy received in last week’s baseball game. As Team Talks-a-lot convenes in order to address the threat posed by the Imperial invasion of Earth, the future looks grim. With Imperial troops on every corner and a giant menacing moon – strangely familiar – overhead – the Team begins to brainstorm.

SISKO: I’m tired of being calm. Calm never got me a damned thing. Let’s blow them all to hell. Very simple, very effective.

DUKAT: And needlessly bloody. (pauses) Wait, I don’t need to channel you anymore. Let’s kill them all.

SPIKE: For once, you two are making sense. Buff, how’re you feeling?

BUFFY: Ready to go! Too bad that silly uniform those guys wear is immune to my wooden stakes. But look! (moving to the side of the room) ooh a crossbow that shoots lasers. This could have been useful against those Fuzzy Tribbles.

SPIKE: At least that moon thing is blocking the bloody sun…

DUKAT: (taking charge) well, since you two are more than adequate for hand to hand combat, Sisko and I will take care of those space things.

BUFFY: Plus you’ve been in battle in space, and stuff.

SISKO: (resenting Dukat’s power grab) OK. Buffy, Spike, you rally the troops, arm them, and maintain position. (Sisko and Dukat leave).

SPIKE: (to Buffy) What about those tottering building blower-uppers? I’ve got my bike, and an idea…

Captain’s Log: While Buffy rallied the forces, Spike attached steel cable to the back of his motorcycle. Having watched Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi uncountable times during his TV-obsession stage, he knew exactly what to do. He anchored the cable, and methodically tripped the AT-ATs, which conveniently fell on top of Stormtroopers, which made it that many fewer guys Buffy had to dispose of with her superpowered laser crossbow. Once they were done, they disappeared into a derelict building, which proceeded to collapse upon them. Meanwhile, Dukat and I headed into space…

DUKAT: … What’s that human expression? Shoot to kill. Too bad our weapons systems are woefully out of date.

SISKO: But it looks like Earth still hasn’t figured out a way to extend the Adopt-a-road program to its space litter.

DUKAT: I see… wait. That’s a ridiculous idea. No.

SISKO: Maybe diplomacy could work.

DUKAT: That’s even more ridiculous.

SISKO: (to Star Destroyer) Unidentified ship, this is Captain Benjamin Sisko of the United Federation of Planets. Cease your attack on this planet and leave.

VADER: This is no concern of yours, Trekkie. Star Wars shall triumph over Star Trek!

SISKO: What the hell are you talking about? You’re attacking my planet!

Dukat stands over Sisko’s shoulder, coming into the field of the viewscreen.

VADER: Oh, and a Cardassian. Nice of you to side with them. I guess the Dominion scared you away from the Dark Side.

DUKAT: I’m just not any Cardassian. I’m Gul Dukat, Commander of the Second Order. I don’t care about this planet, I’m stuck in this ridiculous therapy group and you had the bad taste to attack on one of the days that I had to go to it. If you leave and never return, Cardassia will be happy to discuss ways to… enhance… your baseball performance next year.

VADER considers DUKAT.

VADER: Very well.

Captain’s Log: At oh-eight-hundred hours, station time… the Empire formally declared that they would be leaving the Intergalactic Baseball League in order to form their own rival League. They’ve already brought fifteen teams along to their side. So, this is a huge victory for the good guys! There’s even a “Welcome to the Big Leagues” party tonight on Cardassia!.. So… I lied by omission. I let Dukat drive a wedge into the league of my favorite sport. I can work with Dukat, despite all he did. But most damning of all… I think I can live with it… And if I had to do it all over again… I would. Dukat was right about one thing – a guilty conscience is a small price to pay for the preservation of Earth. Well, that, and a separate baseball league. So I will learn to live with it…Because I can live with it…I can live with it. Computer – erase that entire personal log.

Kakashi: “…and if we time everything perfectly, we will have given them a destruction porn even Michael Bay could shake his stick at.”

Cindy: “Why is it that all you meat heads think you need weapons and force to solve all your problems?”

Jimmy: “Perhaps her royal highness would like to tell us how she would solve this current conundrum.”

Cindy: “Okay Boys, let a real genius show you dweebs how to think outside the box. I think it is about time that the source of these missions actually help out with one.”

Cindy explains how she had been spending “extra time” with Dr. O’hara (since the unexpected events of their first mission) and that he had a unique connection to a man he called his “User”. This was apparently how he came upon all the unique missions they had recently been on. Cindy contacts Dr. O’hara and convinces him to tell his “User: Rev. Sean” that they need help getting revenge on a group of renegade digital artists at ILM. With the help of a few friends that also work there (finishing up work on the new Cowboys & Aliens movie), Rev. Sean breaks into the office currently working on the Clone Invasion and begins implementing the revenge he had planned since he first saw Jar Jar Binks. When the Lucas crew arrived the next morning it was as if gravity had reversed itself. The desks and computers had all been bolted to the ceiling preventing them from drawing the battle scenes scheduled for the day. With little resistance, Team Jealousy was able to board the Star Destroyer and take control.

Gai: “I always wanted to travel the stars. I wonder what this button does.”


Ludacris Speed

Wanted to make this on as EPIC as possible, and more original than the others.

No time to proof read this though, getting it in under the wire:

General Beringer: What in God’s name was that about! Course I’m still alive boy! Get your ass into a movie theater once and while and you’d see me on screen!
He glares at Sean as he leaves the briefing.
General Beringer: Now that that foolishness is out of the way, we can get to the real briefing. That is, you three, err… four are going to brief me on how you’re going to save our sorry asses.
Larry: That hurts dude.
General Beringer: Now, we have confirmation that the Rebel fleet will be here in a matter of hours. Unfortunately our sources tell us that the entire Rebel fleet is going to be outgunned by the forces the Empire is already hitting us with.
Scott: “Don’t you guys have planes and stuff?!”
General Beringer: “Our best and brightest are being mopped up as we speak by the Imperial Forces. So far all we managed to do was slow them down. Militaries all over the world are busy fighting off the Empire in their own land, so a coordinated offense is proving almost impossible.
Adama: “Is that where we come in?”
General Geringer: “You tell me son.”
Larry: “Have you meatbags considered a computer attack?”
General Geringer: “We got enough problems as is!”
Larry: “I mean we send a computer virus onto one of their ships, which would disable their systems, and then could infect the other ships.”
General Geringer: “Our boys in the Pentagon tell me that the Empire doesn’t keep their computer systems networked, so we would have to hack into each one individually to do any real damage. Plus, there would be no way to infect the other ships once we got one down.”
Adama looks at Larry.
Adama: “I’ll remember that for the future. I’ve got a better idea anyway. If I can signal the Colonial fleet they can send reinforcements. Combined with the Rebel fleet I think we can take the fight to the Empire.”
Larry: “I can also signal the Cylon fleet, who could make short work of this planet. I mean the Empire.”
General Geringer: “Let stick with the Colonials for now. Only problem with that plan is we don’t have a subspace transmitter that can reach the 12 Colonies.”
Scott: “I know where we can borrow one.”
They all look at him.
Scott points up. “The Empire has them on their ships, right?”
Todd: “Should be easy enough.”
Larry: “How are we going to get on to one of their ships?”
General Geringer: “We have a ship you could probably use. But it’s not in good shape. It is scheduled to be retired and turned into a museum, but we could bring it back into service.”
Adama: “I like it already.”
General Geringer: “You’re familiar with the Space Shuttle program?”
Larry: “These ‘Shuttles’ are a formidable craft?”
General Geringer: “You’ll love it.”

Cut to the team standing in front of the Space Shuttle Endeavour.
General Geringer: “I suggest you suit up. We don’t have long before the Empire figures out what we are up to.”
Adama, Todd, and Scott suit up. Larry slaps an American flag on his chest for the hell of it. Slow motion shot of the four them walking across the bridge into the shuttle. They strap in and Adama gives the thumbs up. The rocket boosters start, and the Shuttle launches.

Todd: “We are right on target for an intercept.”
Adama: “Ok, we only get one shot at this, so let’s make sure we line it up correctly. Larry, get ready.”
Larry: “Totally ready.”
Adama: “Alright everybody, get your helmets on.”
The Imperial Class Star Destroyer was now in full view.
Larry: “This will do.”
Larry crouches down, and then shoots forward into the flight deck windshield, and breaks through. The air rushes out of the shuttle, followed by the eerie silence of vacuum.
In the micro gravity environment, Larry is propelled forward towards the Star Destroyer. He bumps lightly into the bridge window, then ducks down as not to be seen.

On the bridge of the Imperial Class Star Destroyer Avenger operations were carrying on with swift Imperial efficiency. The earth scum were paying for their humiliation of the Imperial baseball team, and were offering little resistance to the full military might of the Empire. Admiral Hawkes stood watching his bridge crew work. He thought he heard something smash against the glass of the main viewports. He peered outside, but could see nothing.
Admiral Hawkes: “Did anyone just see something outside.”
Imperial crewman: “Sir, I located a small craft launched from the surface, but no life signs are aboard.”
Admiral Hawkes: “I thought I saw something on our hull. It was probably nothing.”
He turns back to face the crew. “Any word yet on locating the four players from the baseball game?”
For just a moment, everyone one the crew’s eyes went wide, but before he could ask, a large metal fist punched through the glass and punched Admiral Hawkes him in the back of the head.
Larry’s iron grip held him in place as the atmosphere rushed out of the bridge. Alarms sounded everywhere, and the men were blown out into space. The emergency doors closed, which would keep everyone on the ship out of the bridge. Blast doors on the main viewport began to lower, but Larry jammed his arms into them to keep them from closing. A moment later, the rest of the team floated in, guided by Todd’s Vegan powers. Larry let the blast doors close, and the atmosphere was restored.
Adama: “Looks good, we can get out of the space suits.”
The team takes off the space suits and is wearing their standard band T-shirts / flight suits underneath.
Todd: “You were a flight suit under your space suit?”
Adama: “I always wear this. Did you bring a microphone?” he asked, pointing at the microphone Todd was carrying.
Todd: “I am a rock star.”
Scott: “All of these screens are dead. Looks like we are out of luck for the bridge!”
Adama: “Larry, do you think you can plug into what is remaining of the consoles here and get a message out?”
Larry: “Plug in?”
Adama: “We can’t just jam an Ethernet cable into your arm?”
Larry: “No, but I’ll remember that for the future. I might be able to use my sensory organs to bypass the interface to these controls though.”
Adama: “Alright, do it.”

Just then, a smashing is heard against the locked door to the bridge.
Scott: “I think we’ve got company!”
Larry: “Geez, I just started here. Give me a few minutes at least.”
Todd: “We can hold them off!”
Sparks start to fly around the edges of the door frame.
Todd: “Get ready!” His eyes begin to glow.
The door explodes inward, and the Stormtroopers all crowed to rush the room.
Before any of the Stormtroopers can rush in, Todd blasts a huge wave back and throws the Stromtroopers flying back into the hall.
Scott chases after them, and starts to beat the crap out of them. Todd follows and uses his powers to fight all the troopers.

Larry: “I’m almost there. Meatbag, I need you to speak into my ears when I give you the signal.”
Adama: “Your ears?”
Larry: “Ears. My ears are microphones. How do you think I hear? I said I was bypassing the interfaces with my sensors!”
Adama: “Alright, alright!”
Larry has wires attached all across his neck into the bridge consoles. He gives the thumbs up.
Adama, grabbing Larry’s head: “This is Lt. Adama to Colonial fleet. We have a condition red on my current location. Do you copy!”
A voice is faintly heard coming out of Larry’s ‘mouth’: “This is Galactica Actual, we read you.”
Adama: “Recommend using pattern delta omega three. Hostiles are engaged and the board is green.”
Galactica Commander: “Roger. ETA 12 minutes.”
Larry disconnects himself from the console. The wires are still hanging from his neck.
Adama: “Let’s get out of here before this thing is a target.”
Just then the Rebel fleet dropped out of hyperspace next to the Star Destroyer. The turbo laser fire blasted into the hull of the ship, shaking it.
Larry: “Frak.”
Adama: “Let’s see if we can make our way to the escape pods.”

Continued below…

The teams makes their way to towards the escape pods, which are easy to find since the rest of the crew is headed there too. Explosions continued to rock the ship, and it was clear time was running out. They reached the escape pod launch bay, just as the last pods were being launched. Only one pod remained. The team heads towards it, only to see Darth Vader step out in front of it.
Vader: “I knew you could come here. You are cowards, unwilling to finish the job.”
Adama and Larry whips out their guns and start shooting, but Vader immediately pulls the gun away. Vader ignites his lightsaber and strides towards the team.
Todd: “Go, I can hold him off.” He pulls out the microphone.
Scott: “What are you going to do, sing him to do death with your microphone?”
Todd: “This isn’t a microphone.”
Snap Hiss a glowing red blade shot out of the cylinder Todd was carrying.
Scott: “Holy Shit!”
Todd charges at Vader and swings full force. Vader deflects the strike easily.
Vader: “The force is with you. But you are just a Vegan.”
Adama: “Let’s get this thing ready for launch.”
Larry, Adama and Scott head towards the pod. The controls are just outside the pod, and Adama starts the ignition sequence.
Vader and Todd continue to duel, but Todd is rapidly fading. His glow is starting to fade, and Vader’s strikes are too powerful.
Adama: “This thing is ready, let’s get out of here!”
Todd, still fighting: “Just go!”
Scott: “We can’t leave Todd behind!”
Todd: “Get yourself out of here!”
Scott, jumping out of the pod: “We all come back from this mission!”
Suddenly, a sword made its way out of Scott’s chest.
Announcer: “Scott Earned the Power of Mutual Respect!”
Scott: “Whooo!”
Scott joins the fight with his new sword. Together, they are easily able to push Vader back.
Vader: “Impressive.”
With Scott keeping Vader busy, Todd is able to concentrate his power, and blast Vader into the wall. Vader’s helmet cracks, just a tiny bit as he sags to the floor.
Vader, weekly: “Join me… we can rule the galaxy…”
Scott: “We’ll never join you.”
Vader raises his hands out: “Then you will die!
Vader’s saber flies out of his hands, and into the escape pod, smashing the controls inside.
Whole team: “NOOOOOOOOoooooo!!”
Vader dies. The team jumps into the escape pod, but it is no use. The controls inside the ship are completely destroyed. Larry tries to override them, but they are too far gone. The pod doors won’t even shut for the launch. Out of the escape pod window, Adama sees the Colonial fleet exit FTL. He manages a small smile seeing the Imperial fleet slowly start to be destroyed.
Scott: “This sucks!”
Larry looks at the team, his eye moving slowly.
Larry: “It has been an honor.”
Larry steps out of the pod, and forces the doors to the escape pod shut. He then plugs the wires still hanging from his neck into the controls in the ship.
Adama: “NO! Get back in here! We can figure out a way!” Adama bangs on the glass.
Larry: “I hope this is worth it…”
The pod launches, and a moment later, the Imperial Star Destroyer explodes.
As the pod heads towards earth, the team looks back and sees the combined fleets of the Rebels and the Colonials making short work of the Empire.
Adama, tearfully: “We did it! We did it.”

Epilogue – 3 days later
Larry wakes up with a jolt. He looks around. He is in… goo. He sits up.
Larry: “What the frak.”
A Six, sitting by the tub
Six, lovingly: “Welcome home.” She strokes the side of his head.
An Eight, standing next to her: “You survived, you’re a hero of the Cylon now.”
Another Six kneeling behind the tub leans in and kisses Larry on his chrome forehead, leaving a red lipstick mark.
Larry: “Totally worth it.”

EDIT:
Made a screencap of the final scene:

Oh, poopypants, I completely forgot about FSL this week. But my team will have a go at this challenge when they get a chance to ponder on why it’s, egads, Star Wars themed this week again. NO!!