Challenge: Tribbles on the Water
Good afternoon and thank you to everyone for coming. As you know it’s completely voluntary to attend Hero/Nemesis group therapy so its really a statement about your continued commitment to understanding that you are all even here. As we have made some excellent progress these last few weeks I feel that you’ve come to the next step in Hero/Nemesis relations. It’s time for a group activity!
This is the Royal Party Time cruise liner Orgy of the Seas - and it has been invaded!!!
More specifically, it has pulled into dock and an invasion of the somewhat rare flesh-eating Tribbles has come ashore from the ship onto this rather peaceful looking island paradise. Luckily the meat ripping Tribbles have gone for all the geriatrics first as they are slower with a higher Quaalude to blood ratio. As the Tribbles ingested the blue-hairs it did slow them down some, thus we come to your window of opportunity.
Go to the Caribbean island in question and stop the Tribbles by working together!
Remember this is the spicy top note in an otherwise bland existence of muted misery and mediocrity for most of the poor souls who traverse the fathomless oceans astride a floating depravity barge - so the cruisers need to have a good time on their island visit! Mostly because Royal Party Time cruises doesn’t particularly want to stand behind it’s “fun time or your money back!” guarantee.
I hope all of you will embrace this exercise with the open minds each of has shown recently, sharing IS caring after all. Also you’ll want to arrange a water approach as Tribbles are natural air scenters and the smell of fresh meat will surely whip them into a frenzy.
Oh, and one more teeny thing before I forget, with love, I have one final request for you - no Klingons. After that whole Solai kidnapping thing a while back, Earth really can’t afford the bad galactic press.
Have fun kids!
Challenger 1: Team Starsaber
Jaina Solo
Darth Caedus
Chloe Sullivan (early Season 8)
Lionel Luthor
“The way I see it, our top priority is getting rid of the killer ‘tribbles’ that made it onto the ship,” Jaina said from the pilot’s seat of the Jade Shadow. “Caedus, are you still able to communicate with animals, or did you lose that ability when you murdered Aunt Mara.”
“Yes, I can. I will board the cruise liner and draw them together so they can be disposed of more easily,” her twin brother responded.
“Then get off my ship and take care of them,” Jaina ordered, lowering the star yacht into a hover 10 feet off the cruise ship’s hull.
The Sith Lord jumped to the liner, his black cape billowing behind him.
“The animals on the ship are an immediate threat, but we cannot allow those on the island to breed unchecked,” Lionel Luthor said. “LuthorCorp scientists have observed that exposure to highly refined meteor rocks can sterilize small animals.”
“Irradiate the mutant tribbles with Kryptonite you mean?” Chloe asked. “Yeah, that won’t backfire.”
“I doubt you have a better idea, Miss Sullivan,” Luthor retorted.
Chloe tapped into the alien presence hovering in the back of her mind. “I can formulate an aerosol mixture that should kill 82.63% of the tribbles within 5 hours and neuter another 17.21%.”
“What about side effects?” Jaina asked.
“There is no other animal life on the island and the chemicals will not be persistent,” Chloe answered.
“With how quickly they breed, they will be a threat again within a matter of days,” Luthor commented as Caedus started slicing Tribbles and frying them with force lightning to the applause of onlookers on the ship.
“LuthorCorp has a crystal they stole from a friend of mine that can open a portal to another dimension. I can’t activate it myself, but Jaina should be able to,” Chloe answered.
“How do you know about that, Miss Sullivan?” Lionel asked.
“I know a lot of things, Lionel,” she quickly retorted.
“So once most of them are dead, Caedus can repeat his pied piper act. When the remaining Tribbles are trapped, I activate theis crystal and we use the Force to push them into the portal.”
TL,DR
Caedus boards the cruise ship and summons the few Tribbles that made it aboard to him and kills them with his lightsaber and force lightning.
Chloe creates a chemical mixture that is dispersed over the island, killing or sterilizing almost all the Tribbles.
Jaina and Caedus go to the island and draw the remaining Tribbles to them.
Jaina opens a portal to the Phantom Zone using a crystal "found" by LuthorCorp and they Force push the remaining Tribbles into it.
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Challenger 2: Team Frakas
Hero: Black Spy
Hero: Guybrush Threepwood
Nemesis: White Spy
Nemesis: LeChuck
A submarine filled with the zombie pirate LeChuck's army of monkeys approached the Caribbean paradise island infested with flesh-eating tribbles. Black spy flipped a switch and the ballast tanks filled with air causing the submarine to rise to the surface. Black spy continued to monitor the periscope for any sign of the tribbles. As he surveyed the area he noticed torpedoes emerging from the water and burrowing into the shore. White spy was dispatching the equipment they would need to complete their task. An alarm signaled that they had reached the surface. Rafts inflated on the port and starboard sides of the sub. The monkeys disembarked and the motley crew made their way to the island.
They reached the shore and White spy had already constructed an array of folding traps and cages. The monkeys went right to work, grabbing the cages and disappearing into the jungle in search of tribbles. Black spy started assembling the base of a catapult around one of the palm trees. Once all the monkeys vanished, White spy started laying out the pulleys and cables.
"What be a tribble?" LeChuck's gruff voice questioned.
Guybrush answered with his best spokesman impression, "Species: Polygeminus grex. Small, soft, gentle creatures depicted in something called the Star Trek universe. All copyrights reserved."
They stood on the main deck of the Screaming Narwhal, the proud vessel commanded by Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate. The cargo hull was filled with prepared meals supplied by the Royal Party Time Cruise Line. Above the cargo hull, between the fore and main masts, hung a large net.
LeChuck's decaying brow crinkled, "How di' they become the carnivorous lot they ar'?"
"Oh. That was the imagination of a depraved mind," Guybrush stated matter-of-factly.
LeChuck pondered, "Gene Roddenberry?"
Threepwood quipped, ?"Nope. Sean O'Hara."
LeChuck, scourge of the sea, simply acknowledged, "Aye. A loathsome bloke."
Black spy had just completed the last catapult when the monkeys returned with traps filled with tribbles. Some tribbles tried to gnaw at the cage bars. Some chewed on their fellow comrades. White spy attached each cage to a cable and released the counterweight. The cage flung into the air like some deranged angry bird, sailing toward the net of the Screaming Narwhal. As each trap deposited a set of tribbles into the cargo hull, LeChuck gathered up the vacant cages.
The process was very effective and LeChuck commented, "Our mateys are quite efficient."
Things were progressing too easily and Guybrush began to feel his pirate sense tingling, he wondered, "I should really get a heavier jacket. It's chilly on the open sea." But said suspiciously, "Yeeeaaaahhh, a little too easily. I have a bad feeling about ttthhhhiiiisssss..." Guybrush found himself lifted into the air and dangled over the cargo hull.
LeChuck bellowed a fiendish laugh. "You'll be excusin' me, Flipwood. My hoard of monkeys and I have some plunderin' to do."
Guybrush protested, "You'll never get away with this, LeChuck!" As the smell of the carnage below began to waft, Guybrush waved a hand in front of his frustrated face and scrunched his nose, "Oh! This is the second worst smell I've ever encountered.”
Some of the monkeys had completed their task. They rummaged through the left over pieces sprawled all over the beach and harnessed a bunch of lounge chairs and tables. They foraged some coconuts and fruits and began to relax. White spy noticed and set his plan into action. He fashioned a la-SOO out of some rope. The last group of monkeys emerged from the jungle with the final batch of tribbles. White spy tied one end of the rope to the cage as it was placed on the catapult. White spy turned to Black spy and acknowledged the cage was secure. The cage launched into the air with Black spy in tow. White spy admired the look of shock on his adversary’s face. Relishing his victory, White spy neglected to notice the jury-rigged pulley attached to the palm tree. It pulled a cage toward White spy and captured him. He sat in the cage with a sullen face, arms folded as the cage swung back and forth 20 feet above the ground.
LeChuck made his way to the shore and witnessed the interaction between the two spies. He chuckled, sadistically. He approached the loitering monkeys and barked, “Avast ya damn dirty apes! We've got some plundering to be done.” LeChuck surveyed the beach and admired the layout. He walked over to White spy and prepared to gloat. He heard a snap and felt a sharp tug at his ankle. LeChuck was dragged under the canopy of trees and into a well-disguised ditch. Black spy’s backup scheme had captured unintended prey. LeChuck got to his feet and assessed his situation. He bellowed to his innocent foe, “Threepwood!!!”