FSL 2.0 Challenge 5: We Interrupt This Broadcast

GWC Community GWC Fantasy Sci-fi 2.0: Black Ops Edition
#21

I hope this isn’t too long, or too late.

FSL 2.0 Challenge #5  Team Edoz

“Hi Dennis, would you like a cookie?” “Umm, yeah. Thanks Mrs. Pittman” Dennis shuffled nervously through the kitchen towards the basement door. Jimmy's mom had to be the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, and he'd been on this earth for a long time. 13 years, to be exact. He could never look at her without getting embarrassed and quickly averting his eyes. Little did he know, she was on to him. She thought it was cute. Dennis was such a nice boy, but he was late. “They're waiting for you, sweetie” she told him, as he headed down the stairs. 
“Quit hitting on my mom, dork” snapped Ricky, when Dennis sat down. Ricky sure was a dick, but he was the best DM in school. “Since everyone else got here before you, I'm sticking you with the girl”. He handed Dennis a sheet with a picture of Claudia from Warehouse 13 in the upper right hand corner. Ricky had something special planned for this night, he'd told the gang. A special scenario, and special characters. Dennis studied the character sheet, and Ricky started to explain everything.

“Greetings my friends. I’m sorry to call on you again, and on such short notice! I have one final mission for you and you team if you are up for it.*

It seems that broadcasts travel through space…Ricky got to the end and asked “Any questions?”

Tom replied “Does Obi Wan get his lightsaber?”  “He can take it, but there's a chance it won't survive transport” was not the answer he really wanted to hear. Miles inquired about Sam's night vision goggles with a gleam in his eye. “Yes”  Dennis perked up. “Then Claudia gets to have her Farnsworth!” “Not if she doesn't have one in the show, stupid!” Ricky taunted. “Artie gave her one in last week's episode, stuuuupid!” Ricky boiled, but would not let his temper get in the way of his DM duties. “Fair enough, she gets the Farnsworth.” Dennis scratched something on a piece of paper and slipped it to Miles, who smiled and nodded yes. They already had a plan, and that made Ricky smile inside. Ricky didn't really like Dennis, but the kid was quick and had a good imagination. Ricky had to admit the kid was fun to play with. For a dork. 

Sam read the intel on what they were facing. “Hey kid, come here. I need to to do something.” He told Claudia.   He handed her his night vision goggles and pointed to a line on the predator's dossier. “Can you make this thing see bent light?” “Sure, if I modulate the...” Sam held his hand up “Whoa kid, just do it. You'll grow old and die before I understand.”  He turned the page to Scorpius and handed her the folder. “When you're done with that, see what you can do with this guy” and he turned his attention to Obi-Wan. “Capt Hiller and I have some ideas” Obi-Wan told Sam.

“Good, it looks like it’s time to use them”

The transport device hummed as Gen. Hammond motioned them up on the pads. “You're up in 5, good luck.”

Claudia hit her knees and hurled in the sand. Sam helped her up “Yeah, that was pretty rough. Get it together quick, though. That’s one ugly mutherfu…” The predator roared. “Here, he should show up pretty good with these” Claudia said as she handed Sam’s goggles back to him. “Plus, I think I modified my Farnsworth to work on the same frequency as the control system for Scorpius’ cooling system.” “What can you do?” Sam asked. “I’m not sure, I’m accessing the options now.”

Hiller revved the hover chariot “What are we waiting for?” Obi-Wan replied “I think we're waiting for someone to stop fighting and roll for initiative.” 

“Shut up, it's what the dice came up with!” Ricky bellowed. Everyone had rolled and Ricky's high number was for the slurm queen.  “Well, what's she gonna do?” Tom said sarcastically. “I'll show you, smartass!” 


Obi-Wan shook off his slurm covered robe as he scrambled to his feet. “That things got some range, doesn't it?” “It can't be that bad, I hear people drink that crap” Sam quipped. Hiller gunned the hover chariot, “Let's do this!”  Obi-Wan force pushed a crapload of sand up in the air towards Skeletor and Scorpius. Sam Turned on his newly modified goggles and tried to work behind all the distractions to get a good position on big ugly. Claudia hunkered down in the chariot and scrolled through Scorpius' cooling system menu. She found what she wanted and touched 'select'.  Plasma explosions rocked the arena as the predator shot at everything that moved. Obi-Wan reached for his lightsaber.

“Roll 1d12” Ricky said. Tom came up with a 6, and Ricky shook his head. “You pull out your lightsaber only to find that it doesn't work. It must have been damaged by the transportation process.” “Crap” 

Skeletor chases after the chariot, and jumps up on the side. Pow! “Welcome to my chariot!” The one liner was delivered right after the punch to Skeletor's face. Claudia peeks up over the side and sees him lying in the sand as the chariot speeds off. Then, Sam appears from a shadow and puts a boot on his throat. “Target of opportunity” Sam says, as he finishes off Skeletor.

Meanwhile Scorpius writhes in pain as his body temperature skyrockets. He’s like a giant solar flare in the predator’s eyes, causing him to randomly fire plasma balls around the arena.

“Can he deflect them with any accuracy?” Tom asks. “Roll for dexterity” Ricky answers.

“I’m gonna try to run over him with the chariot” Wayne announces proudly.

Obi-Wan is successful in force deflecting a couple of the plasma balls to the slurm queen, causing her to to boil from the inside and explode. Obi-Wan force pushes the predator into the back wall of the arena, and he slumps down right in the path of the speeding hover chariot. Sam creeps up to him and he crawls away, pushing buttons on his wristpad. “He’s either calling his lawyer, or setting a self destruct “ Sam thinks to himself as he swings Skeletor’s power sword and hacks the predator’s arm off. He tosses it to Claudia “Quick, disarm that arm!”
Sam buries the power sword in the predator’s skull, and Obi-Wan dispatches the overheated Scorpius with a final force choke.

“Now what?” Claudia asks. “It's Miller time, as they say.” Sam says as he watches Hiller walk over to one of the green Orion cheerleaders. 

“Excuse me, Miss Donovan. Do you know anything about lightsabers?”
#22

We have a one week extension! Keep those entries coming!

#23

Ooooh! :smiley: yay

#24

Duh, I totally missed that. Freudian slip, maybe?

#25

So to clarify - the deadline is now THIS Friday (August 6) at noon EST?

#26

Team: PETE (Persons Engineered for Tactical Espionage)
Recon: Jack Bauer
Tech: David Levinson
Martial Artist: Jimmy Tong
Pilot: Snake Plisken

Snake Plisken steps into the arena facing the four aliens at once.
Snake Plissken: I’m gonna give you assholes a chance. What do you say we play a little Bangkok Rules?
Snake picks up a tin can. The four aliens back up and get ready.
Snake Plissken: Nobody draws until this hits the ground.
Snake throws the can high into the air, pulls his revolvers and kills all four aliens before the can lands.
The can hits the ground.
Snake Plissken: Draw.

#27

Correct-a-mundo

#28

LOL. It’s always a love story.

Ha! Again, it’s always a love story. Trek Tarts will enjoy that one. Right Casilda?

Awesome. Totally frakin’ belgium awesome. That is totally what Kirk would do?

I love it! Kudos to you for makin’ not about the fighting.

#29

Team:
Pilot: Duo Maxwell
Tech Man: Jim Hawking
Recon: Batou
Martial Artist: Himura Kenshin

Fresh from the beach, our heroes barely make it into a fresh change of clothing before Q flashes them away from their secret hideaway. In the brief flash before appearing in the alien arena, they are made aware that this battle is for Earth’s survival, in this period and every other they know. The motivation is supreme.

From the entrance of the arena, Jim hops into the hover-chariot and hunkers down in the most protected front part. Duo gets in behind him, grabbing the reins and wondering what to do with them next. Jim flicks both his hands together, which Duo mimics and the horses start off. Batou walks in, tall and proud, in gladiator style and pulls off his shirt to distract all the ladies (it’s not like it was going to protect anything anyways). Kenshin just walks in, staring at the crowd.

With much clanking of chains, the gate at the far side slowly opens. There is a flash of moving light as the Predator enters the arena, Boos as Scorpius and Skeletor walk in together, and ahhs of disgust at the Slurm Queen.

“Okay guys, Engage them as best you can, and I’ll try to analyze their patterns and shout strategies out to you. Duo, keep me safe.” Jim yells.

The chariot rumbles into motion as Batou squares off with Skeletor. Kenshin draws his sword half an inch, waiting for the Predator’s attack. The Slurm queen holds in reserve and Scorpius grabs a sword and chases after the chariot.

“That one there, the skeleton, piercing and ranged weapons won’t work. You’ll have to smash into him!” Jim calls out.

Batou cracks his knuckles and smiles, saying “Come on, you bag of bones, I’m going to ossify you. That is to say, I’ll ossimly turn your bones to fossils.” In a fast rush of cyborg-titanium enhanced blows, Skeletor crumbles to dust. The final kick lands on his ribcage, causing it to explode in a sparkly cloud as his skull falls screaming to the ground, to end as his jawbone cracks in half on landing. “Fore!” Batou yells, kicking the skull into the crowd where they clamor for it like a foul ball. Before he wave his arms to the crowd, Scorpius is upon him, sword flashing.

Meanwhile, Kenshin is using his superhuman speed and hearing to barely keep one step ahead of the cloaked predator. Claws lash out, shredding his kimono and leaving angry red marks across his chest.

As Batou moves in for Scorpius, Jim yells, “He’s got some sort of cybernetic cooling implant in his head. If you can damage it, he might overheat, especially in this sun.” Batou grunts in reply, and dashes to the side, grabbing a trident and net combo to face off against Scorpius in gladiator fashion.

“Duo, I’m almost done with reprogramming the mechanical horses with war-horse protocols. When I do, jump on one and grab a spear or something. Try to get Batou on the other one.”

“But what about you?” Duo asks.

“I’ll do what i have to, which is probably going to be hiding in the back of this chariot and wanting to quip about aggressive negotiations. I’ll be fine.”

A moment later, the horses both rear up, striking with their fore feet at the air in front of them. “Go now” Jim yells. Duo leaps on top of the horse’s back, grabs a spear and goes to support Batou.

Kenshin has almost gotten the Predator’s measure, and his last near-supersonic sword attack had almost cut him. It had just managed to nick him, leading the Predator to realize the sword was not sharp on the facing edge. As the predator leaps in for another attack, Kenshin slashes again, almost to fast to see. The Predator reaches out to catch the blade and disarm Kenshin, but instead of catching the reverse-blade sword, the Predator sees he has only caught the scabbard that Kenshin had put forward instead. A moment later, Kenshin’s blows rain down on the Predator, pummeling him into unconsciousness, only the fact that the sword is dull on the facing edge saving the alien’s life. The final attack is too much for Kenshin’s body, and he also falls unconscious to the ground.

Between Duo and Batou, Scorpius is barely able to keep ground. Eventually, when dodging a spear thrust by Duo, Batou manages to tangle Scorpius in the net. Scorpius grabs the spear, pulling Duo from the horse. Duo acrobatically twists in mid air, letting go of the spear as Scorpius overbalances and falls, his feet wrapped up in the net’s coils. Bato wades in, mean to settle it cyborg a cyborg, but Scorpius’s blows damage the connection between Batous brain and his cybernetic limbs. Duo manages to leap in with a flying kick, knocking out the cooling apparatus, then goes to support Batou. In the stadium’s hot sun, Scorpius quickly overheats and slumps to the ground.

Forgotten by all, the Slurm queen begins to advance. With two team members incapacitated, they begin to fall back. Duo drags Kenshin backward while Batou staggers back to their entrance. The Slurm Queen rants and raves at them about the loss of her drink industry, and Jim stands unnoticed from the chariot’s wreckage.

“Run for it guys. There’s only one way to kill this monster, and none of you can party hard enough for it. Fly you fools!” He turns and rams the chariot’s stereo up to full as the team escapes, with Land of 1000 Dances playing over the speakers. Jim starts singing and dancing with the music.

Got to know how to pony
Like Bony Maronie
Mash potato, do the alligator
Put your hand on your hips, yeah
Let your backbone slip
Do the Watusi
Like my little Lucy
Hey! Uh!

Na na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na
I need somebody to help me say it one time
(Na na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na)
Wo–ow!

The crowd jumps to it’s feet and begins dancing, and the constant motion and sound causes the arena to begin to collapse. Falling debris traps the Slurm Queen, and Jim runs after his teammates, shouting “One more time now” to the crowd, and adding under his breath “I’ll always remember you-Slurms McKenzie”

#30

You know, I think a lot of us have been under-estimating the power of Skeletor.

#31

This is a relatively short version for me…(no dialogue! sorry!)

Team Casilda: Helva, Baltar, Garak, and Leeloo

Team gets to the arena. They’re not too pleased to find themselves in a situation where it seems that brute strength would win out – their strength lies in strategy and better preparation! Garak tells them all to stop their complaining, because it won’t keep them alive. Helva starts getting hooked into the iron-clad chariot and familiarizes herself with the controls, particularly for the horses. Baltar cowers behind the chariot, until he remembers that, in the end, he could do some pretty kick-ass things. Cower-stage passed! Leeloo sizes up their opponents, conversing quietly with Garak while organizing their available weapons. Baltar is assigned to trap-making, at which he rolls his eyes. I mean, he can shoot people! Don’t they know that? The only problem – our team is pretty-much gun-less. So, no shooting for anyone.

Before the battle begins, the team distributes shields. Baltar has his net-traps ready, with some Garak modifications, so he just grabs a sword. Garak prefers polearms, and has used his personal poison supply quite liberally. Leeloo looks over the weapons, and straps on a sword. Team Casilda’s ready for the challenge.

The Predator, eager to overcome the challenge, has decided to take a direct route to destroying team Casilda. Luckily, all of the various films of the Predator franchise were in Leeloo’s Welcome to Earth packet, so she knows all of his tricks and has advised the team accordingly. She lures the Predator close to the chariot while Helva deploys Baltar’s net traps, which results in the Predator getting dragged behind our hover chariot in a tightly wound trap. Ashamed, he commits ritual suicide.

Upon seeing the destruction of the Predator, the rest of not-Team-Casilda get a bit nervous. Skelator decides that his Havoc Staff won’t be enough, and leaves it by the side to work on constructing a better weapon out of spears and some of the sand in the arena. His back turned, Leeloo takes the staff and stows it safely inside the hover chariot. Garak has taken his poison-tipped spears, meanwhile, over to the Slurm Queen, and has gleefully (or rather, as gleefully as Garak is capable of) inflicting multiple stab wounds. The Slurm Queen fizzles to her death, and for good measure Helva tramples her with the mechanical horses, which sends Slurm all over the place, with Team Casilda successfully dodging the carnage. Skeletor, however, engrossed in his new science project, was not so lucky. Covered in Slurm, Skeletor turns to grab his staff, only to find that it has been purloined by a party unknown to him. Furious, he charges the team, which is ready with more traps and poison spears. Netted and at the point of a pointy object, Skeletor is lead from the arena in shame.

Which leaves Team Casilda with one opponent left: Scorpius. Baltar senses an opportunity and walks over to the sullen creature. Upon further awkward conversation involving margarita shooters, the subject of wormholes comes up. Baltar, sensing an opportunity (and with the rest of the team standing by with spears and Leeloo’s kick-ass-ness, should his weaselly-ness not work in their favor), discusses the theoretical possibilities for a worm-hole, of course admitting the caveat that they have never been observed – and indeed, emphasizes that while many theoretical physicists have posited the possibility of the existence of types of matter that would allow for the existence of a structure like a wormhole in space, one must, again, emphasize that they have never been observed, and that any concrete information on wormholes would be subject to rigorous scientific review before it could be accepted as fact, which would mean that Scorpius’s desire to weaponize wormholes is really a desire based more in a revenge-fantasy than in any real scientific possibility. Scorpius listened to Baltar’s explanation and sullenly retires from the arena in disgust at their lack of imagination.

Thus is Team Casilda the Last Team Standing, and the threat against Earth once again dealt with satisfactorily. The team heads back to the LH-834 for some pizza and various drinks of choice.

#32

I’m too late, but I don’t want my team to miss out a challenge anyway.
p.s. I haven’t read the other entries yet, so I hope I’m not repeating anyone’s solutions (or the same idea)

Team Hot Bitches
Solution #5

Nausicaa – Bulma – Creamy Mami – Hitomi

Oh, brother, a gladiator type situation? Yikes.

  1. Bulma, of course puts everyone into cool fighter costumes a la Dragon ball, crazy shoulder pads included. (They’re just a different set of clothes, so they don’t provide any extra armour or anything. Purely for aesthetics. Hope that’s ok. :D)

2.Let the games begin…yadda yadda. The girls are looking totally hot in their costumes, which helps them win over the audience. They all root for, of course, the team with the hot bitches.

3.Round 1– ding! - Nausicaa vs. Skeletor

First Teto jumps off Nausicaa’s shoulder and distracts Skeletor, whose staff is all too powerful, but he’s old, and his eyesight isn’t what it used to be, so he has a hard time hitting such a small target with his bolts. Meanwhile, Nausicaa cozies up to Panther and does her animal loving shtick. She convinces Panther that Skeletor had abused him all these years and that today is the time to fight back. Panther, in an act of defiance and revenge, takes Skeletor by surprise and snaps the staff in two with his bite. Nausicaa charges at the much weakened Skeletor and punches him in the face. Skeletor falls, and Panther runs up and rips him to shreds. The crowd cheers, of course. Who would want to see some old skinny dude in a toga? Nausicaa, even though she’s disguested by what happened, scractches Panther’s belly, who is surprised at how much he likes being doted on, and how unappetizing his previous owner was.

4.Round 2 - ding! - Bulma vs. Scorpius

Walking into the arena, Bulma performs a strip tease as she sings praises about Scorpius’ intelligence. As evil and conniving he is, Scorpius is a man after all, and isn’t impervious to nudity and flattery. He takes Bulma into his arms and she rips off his suit. Are they going to DO it? The crowd, naturally, goes wild. Then, Bulma whispers something into Scorpius’ ear. Scorpius’s head goes red and he bursts into flames.
“What did you say to him?” Nausicaa asked.
Bulma, putting her clothes back on, says “I took a shot. I asked him to explain the Grandfather Paradox to me. If that didn’t work, I’d be asking him to explain Back to the Future to me. And if that didn’t work, hm…” Bulma smiles, and Mami goes “ewwww! My virgin ears!"
“Honey, it’s just sex. I’ve slept with men much more evil than that.”
Far, far away, Vegeta sneezes.

5.Round 3 – ding! - Creamy Mami vs. Slurm Queen

The Slurm Queen, having seen the last 2 matches, isn’t fooled, and goes on full mode attack. Mami deftly sweeps them away with her wand while she sings a song. The crowd goes wild. Annoyed that she isn’t getting any attention, the Slurm Queen ups her attacks. Mami floats up to the sky using her wand, and conjured up a couple of large rainbows around the arena. Hidden behind the rainbows, Mami drags the Slurm Queen to negotiate. “Listen, do you really care about this stupid deathmatch or the aleins at all?” Mami asks.
The Slurm Queen paused. “Not really. They kind of kidnapped all of us to be on their stupid dream team.”
Mami starts, “Listen, I love Slurm and I think I’ll be a great spokesperson for it. Everyone loves me - look at the crowds!”
“Huh…we might managed to break into the Japanese market… and we’ve never been able to!”
“Right, they love me in Japan. I’ll even do it for free if you can do one little thing for me – pretend to die here and lose this match.”
“The aliens will fry me!”
“Not if Team Hot Bitches win. And then no one will remember a thing. And you losing would be a big help. Think about all the money you’re going to make with me!”
The Slurm Queen considers Mami’s proposal for a moment, and nods. “All right, let’s do this.”
Mami conjures up a blinding white light, and for a moment, no one knew what happened. When the rainbows start to fade away, all we can see is Mami standing in a wet puddle in the middle of the arena, next to a grate. The crowd cheers while the Slurm Queen looks up from the sewer, and giggles quietly.

6.Round 4 – ding! - Hitomi vs. Predator

“Dang. Save the best for last, eh?” Hitomi groans.
Hitomi quickly goes into defense mode. There really is no way for her to even try attacking the Predator. For now, she is lucky she can at least dodge Predator’s attacks, thanks to the crowd. (the predator has trouble locating Hitomi because there are too many heat signals from the crowd, as well as from the slurm queen lurking around in the sewers beneath). It does not look good, but at least she’s hanging in there, thanks to her multiple skills as a martial artist. Using her ninja skills, she hides in plain sight, sometimes a wall, sometimes the ground, but she keeps moving and avoiding any kind of contact with the Predator. The rest of the team is worried. There’s really no way Hitomi - as kickass as she is - can ever destroy a predator, let alone not be destroyed by one.

Days - or is it weeks? - later

Yes, the match is still going on. While the Predator has every physical advantage over a small female human, he can’t attack someone he can’t actually find. And so the hunt continues. The aliens overlooking the matches grow restless (as well as hungry), and one of them shouts at the Predator “Can’t you hurry on up and finish this off? It’s been days!You’re useless! How is it possible that a teeny tiny human woman is evading you? What a freakin’ failure!”
The Predator cocks his ears and stops in his tracks. To everyone’s surprise, he then proceed to kill himself by ripping his own head off. Predators don’t take to being called a failure very well, huh? Hitomi reappears from a wall and throws her arms up in the air. Thank god for the senzu beans Bulma had thoughtfully slipped into her pocket, or she would have never lasted that long defending herself in the arena.

The crowd goes wild, chanting Team Hot Be-yotches! The earth is safe once again.

Oh, whoops, I completely ignored the vehicle. Heh. Ah, well, it’s already a really long solution.

ETA: another even bigger whoops. I’m reading the thread now and realized that it wasn’t a one on one type situation that I thought it would be. Ah, well.

#33

I loved that moment.

#34

Sorry I had to miss this one. Travelling last week, too busy …blah, blah, blah…

Love reading all the great entries though.

#35

Congrats to Solai for being the challenger and the uncontested winner of the last FSL senario!

#36

side-ways! Side-ways!

#37

I totally missed the point that there were no horses…major whoops

#38

You ain’t alone. :o

#39

At all! lol… I think by the end of the prompt I was just skimming :stuck_out_tongue:

#40

Well, they were Mechanical Horses… That’s got to count for something