Inspired by the 2013 GWC Meetup Live Podcast, this Geek Deathmatch is Furry vs Furry. I admit I wanted to place Nimitz in here from David Weber’s Honoverse instead of The Animal but more people know of Mr. Animal, his wild rock drumming and his womanizing: “WOMAN!” But what most people don’t know is that Animal has a dark past of war crimes, pimping, illegal drug trafficking, running gambling rings, and racketeering.
The Animal began his career as a Vietnam draftee to top off his New York gang-invested teenage years. Following basic training The Animal volunteered for Army special forces where he eventually became a Green Beret with over 125 combat partrols. Re-upping for a second tour The Animal retrained as a sniper where he eventually completed over 65 successful missions. The Animal was serving his third tour in Vietnam before being wounded and rotated back to the States. Once back in country the CIA offered to completely erase The Animal’s gang criminal history in return for running black operations in Cambodia and Laos. Once back in country The Animal quickly and quietly set up his own private criminal enterprise using terror, torture and murder. In 1975 when the US pulled out of Vietnam the CIA rotated The Animal back to the States and after a lengthly psychological evaluation process decided they no longer were in need of his services. The Animal, wishing to maintain and keep hidden his overseas criminal network, signed on with Jim Henson’s Muppet company and proceeded to hide in plain sight while becoming one of America’s newest Rock Stars. During The Muppets’ down years of the late 90’s and 2000’s The Animal expanded his criminal activity in America taking over many of the nations top mob criminal families and running most illegal activities from behind in scenes in New York, Chicago and LA. It is rumored that over 10,000 deaths could be directly linked to The Animal if there was any evidence whatsoever.
Chewbacca’s exploits are well documented. This Wookie needs no back story or introduction. He is the Wookie who single handedly kept Han Solo out of trouble for decades. He is the Wookie who saved the rescue of Princess Leia from the Death Star. He is the Wookie who saved Luke Skywalker’s ass from Darth Vader as Luke was getting ready to destroy the first Death Star over Yavin (Everyone knows Han Solo was going to let the kid fry - it was Chewie who told Han either we go help him or I’ll rip your arms off). He is the Wookie who single handedly kept the WORST maintainable small frieghter flying during decades of wartime. He is the Wookie who pieced back together C3PO so the rest of us could still have comic relief. He is an Ewok Rock Star in his own right. He is the Mighty Chewbacca!
However, now that both The Animal and Chewbacca are Disney “employees” there can only be room for one of them or else Walt Disney World will turn into Earth’s largest Die Hard set. As their square off to see who is Disney’s top furry who will win: The Animal or Chewbacca? YOU Decide!